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Intergalactic Summit

 
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TL;DR May 24th, YC118
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Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2016-05-25 01:59:12 UTC
Homeless Bees Create Massive Refugee Crisis, Populist Leader Promises Giant Space Wall


Turmoil in Black Rise this week, as Imperium forces initiate a chaotic retreat into the region and its surrounding systems. This has been well publicized by The Scope's reporting of the Travel Advisory issued to the region, but perhaps of even more importance is the rise of a new political figure in the region, a Provist named Dolan Tramp.

Tramp has risen to massive public acclaim and popularity on a simple message: building a giant space wall to stop massive amounts of Goons from flooding into the region and 'tekkin err' jerbs.

Speaking at a massive rally that was heavily protested by extremely annoying people, Tramp, whilst combatting a stray piece of his wig that wouldn't stop flying into his mouth, shouted, "The Goons, they aren't sending their best.. they're rapists, they're murderers..."


Despite the rising popularity of Black Rise Provist Dolan Tramp, others have responded with enormous compassion and generosity to the destitute and impoverished Goons seeking a new place to call home.


The Imperium Launches Surprise Ambush on MBC forces by making them take Imperium Sov. MBC Defeat is Imminent.

When asked for comment on the last Goonswarm TCUs falling, and the Goons disappearing from the map, Imperium Leader The Mittani stated, to the backdrop of MBC citadels, "Now, there is no escape from the crucible of pain we have created for them"


TL;DR Reported Highest in View/Like Ratio by TL;DR (Just now)

At a very low 10 views to every like***, TL;DR is among the most widely well-received recurring entertainment broadcasts on the IGS.

TL;DR is also the only recurring entertainment broadcast on the IGS, but a correlation seems unlikely at this time.

***DISCLAIMER*** - No research was conducted in the compilation of this data.



As Part of Very Scientific Social Experiment, Yours Truly Offers a Dignified, Gentlemanly Dance to Diana Kim. Paramedics on standby.

Oh, you touched my tralalala.


Finally, the last story for this week

I ran out of ideas this week, sue me.




Reminder to all you cheapskates that I take donations. Gib muny.

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Neph
Crimson Serpent Syndicate
#2 - 2016-05-25 02:24:30 UTC
WTB a ding ding dong to touch, PM me offers

~ Gariushi YC110 // Midular YC115 // Yanala YC115 ~

"Orte Jaitovalte sitasuyti ne obuetsa useuut ishu. Ketsiak ishiulyn." -Yakiya Tovil-Toba-taisoka
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#3 - 2016-05-25 02:33:03 UTC
Something something filthy pirate, something something federation, something something destroyed
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#4 - 2016-05-25 02:44:47 UTC
Invoke the name of Kim thrice and Kim will come howling about Feds, Liars and Filthy Pirates.

Why did you think invoking her name is a good idea?

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#5 - 2016-05-25 03:44:17 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Invoke the name of Kim thrice and Kim will come howling about Feds, Liars and Filthy Pirates.

Why did you think invoking her name is a good idea?

Because she's adorable!....... it that uneducated, xenophobic, Dolan Tramp supporter kinda way.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Karina Ivanovich
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2016-05-25 05:12:30 UTC  |  Edited by: Karina Ivanovich
Remember folks Mr. Galente is in constant need of YOUR support! This titan of a man needs your reps! The honorable Mr. Galente spends his copious amounts of free time devoting his life to the pursuit of knowledge and great reporting. He is also a well known philanthropist that works everyday to better people such as the Galente family and friends of Mr. Galente. I must ask that you keep in mind the countless hours he puts in every single week to bring the best of the best.

Send any support funds to Mr. Galente ASAP to keep him going!


Also, he writes TL:DR.

Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2016-05-25 06:08:03 UTC
Karina Ivanovich wrote:
Remember folks Mr. Galente is in constant need of YOUR support! This titan of a man needs your reps! The honorable Mr. Galente spends his copious amounts of free time devoting his life to the pursuit of knowledge and great reporting. He is also a well known philanthropist that works everyday to better people such as the Galente family and friends of Mr. Galente. I must ask that you keep in mind the countless hours he puts in every single week to bring the best of the best.

Send any support funds to Mr. Galente ASAP to keep him going!


Also, he writes TL:DR.


***DISCLAIMER*** - No research was conducted in the compilation of this data.

Non-research is expensive!

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Makoto Priano
Kirkinen-Arataka Transhuman Zenith Consulting Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#8 - 2016-05-25 07:32:12 UTC
Neph wrote:
WTB a ding ding dong to touch, PM me offers


What, your syndicate lacks for crimson serpents?

Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries: exploring the edge of the known, advancing the state of the art. Would you like to know more?
Sinti Vailatti
Angelis Exploration
#9 - 2016-05-25 17:10:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Sinti Vailatti
Jason Galente wrote:



As Part of Very Scientific Social Experiment, Yours Truly Offers a Dignified, Gentlemanly Dance to Diana Kim. Paramedics on standby.

Oh, you touched my tralalala.





Shocked

I...

I actually have nothing to say...

I suppose love is in the air.

“Where must we go...we who wander this wasteland, in search of our better selves?”
Rook Moray
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#10 - 2016-05-25 20:43:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Rook Moray
I think we won the war a little too much...

Last night, a few of us noticed that things had gotten a bit too quiet in the GME area, so we decided to take a little stroll down to Jita to see if we could find some WTs and maybe get into a nice fight or two on the way. We undocked from O1Y in Thrashers and fully expected to die long before ever seeing Jita.

A half an hour later and we were in Black Rise. One pilot had gone a little too far ahead and got ganked....but no one engaged us as a whole. We waited for a straggler and our FC pissed off a gate gun and had to zip around for a few minutes....but otherwise...nothing.

On to Jita! We warped in! Jita Local was filled with sounds of the Horde Horn!

And there wasn't a damn WT to be found.

What to do? Nobody in Jita wanted to play. The FC suggested Amarr and off we went! And got to Amarr, sounded the horn yet again...and...nothing. I demanded in local that the Empress be presented to us....yeah, that didn't work either. No fights. Just a couple of lippy Blooders in local that don't shoot at ships that have guns on them.

So we continued on, turning south. In Tash-Murkon we saw two WTs, but they fled so fast, they blue-shifted.

We got into Khanid. Nothing. We decided to show the newbeans the A2 station. Nothing. We visited a Darwinism Astrahus. Nothing.

Then, in the far-reaches of Delve, we found some Bloodraider Neuts...and they all hid in their station. They bravely undocked a couple of Dreads for a minute before re-docking.

After much taunting, we warped off to an asteroid belt and played tag with the rats until the Bloodraider Capsuleers felt safe enough to engage us. Finally, blissfully, we'd found a fight....then had to yell at them to pod us, because who the hell wants to go 50 some-odd jumps back at that hour?

So sound the Horde Horn and give much love to the Magnificent Seven!

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ SOUND THE HORDE HORN ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

“When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.” -Guristas Proverb.
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2016-05-25 22:11:23 UTC
Neph wrote:
WTB a ding ding dong to touch, PM me offers


Furiosa, is that you?!

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Johlie
Scorn Again.
#12 - 2016-05-26 02:22:12 UTC
Remind me to punch you for last link.

Forever in the future, Shall I battle as of yore, Dying to be born a fighter, But to die again, once more.
Neph
Crimson Serpent Syndicate
#13 - 2016-05-26 11:37:16 UTC
Kim-haani proves to be taking a leave of absence from her duty.

~ Gariushi YC110 // Midular YC115 // Yanala YC115 ~

"Orte Jaitovalte sitasuyti ne obuetsa useuut ishu. Ketsiak ishiulyn." -Yakiya Tovil-Toba-taisoka