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Join Goonswarm! The most annoying alliance in internet spaceships!

First post
Author
Darius JOHNSON
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#1 - 2016-05-22 19:59:58 UTC
Have you ever dreamed of flying in a fleet with 2000 other space pilots?
Have you ever said to yourself "Self, this game moves too fast I wish there were a way to play it in slow motion".
Have you ever wanted to see what your personal photos look like on someone else's computer?

If you said "yes" to any of the above then we are not the alliance for you. If however:

  • You just want to shoot things
  • You want to get in on something interesting from the ground floor
  • You have a desire to become a literal god, basking in the glory of solo/small gang pvp
  • You are socially capable
  • You have a sense of humor
  • You can pass our cultural acceptance interview
  • Your nickname growing up was something akin to "The fly in the ointment"

  • Then we would like to have a talk about your space future!

    Goonswarm is a collection of positive space personalities excelling in such pursuits as:

  • Losing fleets
  • Losing fleets
  • Losing fleets
  • Taking random sov
  • Losing said sov

  • We have visions of science and majesty and some bold plans for the future! All that's missing from CM is U!

    We're not space socialists so don't come around this here system looking for handouts and in our opinion cultural fit comes first.

    We are recruiting both individual corporation members for our executor corporation The Ten Dollar Bond (formerly known as Goonfleet) as well as plucky and interested member corporations for the alliance. Interested alliances may evemail myself and/or Black Mittani.

    Hailing from the mighty Somethingawful dot com forums, Goonswarm has chosen to take a more open strategy to recruiting from the likeminded among you. The game has changed. The culture has changed. EVE is more fast-paced and enjoyable than ever and spending your time clinging to the glories of yesteryear isn't going to net you anything.

    I'd say we're looking for a group of serious pvp masters but really all we ask is that you not post terribly or just generally be annoying. "Toon" is a banned word so don't use it in your recruitment post. We currently reside in Delve and we're making friends with the locals. We're keeping the pace of growth slow so if you don't get in right away it's either that or we think you're terrible. Fly to Delve and impress us with your personality and we may make an exception.

    Membership is decided by the existing members of the alliance. Every single candidate aside from those I know will be subject to a vote. Upon successful vote you're in with the same standing as everyone else.

    If you're interested in joining our annoying band of miscreants head on over to http://www.tendollarbond.com and follow the instructions to auth. Then post a thread in the only subforum you can see on the forums and we'll process your app.

    Bad posters need not apply thx.
    Alevi
    Caldari Provisions
    Caldari State
    #2 - 2016-05-22 20:02:17 UTC
    Bad posters please note, we are not the Mittani media empire goons getting **** on in the north. We are the drunk belligerent undocking goons living in the south. No relation.
    D'ceet
    Capsuleer Outfitters
    Reverberation Project
    #3 - 2016-05-22 20:06:13 UTC
    Do you like saying "this could work" and then welping your ship, clutching defeat from the certain jaws of victory? We're probably the right place. Do you like I can has cheeseburger cats? We're definitely not the right place.
    Berrik Radhok
    Ten Dollar Bond
    #4 - 2016-05-22 20:06:55 UTC
    If you like literally being on the other end of the galaxy from DBRB, boy is this ever the corp for you.
    Rendering
    SniggWaffe
    WAFFLES.
    #5 - 2016-05-22 20:11:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Rendering
    In before the (same five) GoonSwarm Federation defense force of bad posters show up.
    Vincent Claeson
    The Scope
    Gallente Federation
    #6 - 2016-05-22 20:31:52 UTC
    Rendering wrote:
    In before the (same five) GoonSwarm Federation defense force of bad posters show up.


    We don't concern ourselves with the agents of the fake GoonSwarm.
    Rendering
    SniggWaffe
    WAFFLES.
    #7 - 2016-05-22 20:32:44 UTC
    Should petition CCP to get them to change their name since they're impersonating another alliance.
    D'ceet
    Capsuleer Outfitters
    Reverberation Project
    #8 - 2016-05-22 20:37:02 UTC
    z
    Vincent Claeson
    The Scope
    Gallente Federation
    #9 - 2016-05-22 20:54:42 UTC
    0
    Pari Shana
    KarmaFleet
    Goonswarm Federation
    #10 - 2016-05-22 21:36:40 UTC
    r
    AzzJack Fonulique
    The Scope
    Gallente Federation
    #11 - 2016-05-22 21:46:34 UTC
    Z
    D'ceet
    Capsuleer Outfitters
    Reverberation Project
    #12 - 2016-05-22 21:47:29 UTC
    0
    Kathao Crendraven
    The Scope
    Gallente Federation
    #13 - 2016-05-22 21:54:21 UTC
    r
    Berrik Radhok
    Ten Dollar Bond
    #14 - 2016-05-22 21:54:23 UTC
    z
    Vincent Claeson
    The Scope
    Gallente Federation
    #15 - 2016-05-22 22:31:48 UTC
    0
    D'ceet
    Capsuleer Outfitters
    Reverberation Project
    #16 - 2016-05-22 22:36:40 UTC
    r
    Darius JOHNSON
    Viziam
    Amarr Empire
    #17 - 2016-05-22 22:38:49 UTC
    Heads up for Karmafleet and other pretenders we will be petitioning people who impersonate our alliance.
    Alevi
    Caldari Provisions
    Caldari State
    #18 - 2016-05-23 15:02:46 UTC
    z
    Thatim Roid
    Deep Core Mining Inc.
    Caldari State
    #19 - 2016-05-23 16:22:11 UTC
    Look at these nerds.


    I am messing up their z0r chain. Time to steal their lunchmoney too.
    Vincent Claeson
    The Scope
    Gallente Federation
    #20 - 2016-05-23 16:27:03 UTC
    Hey that's rude
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