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Intergalactic Summit

 
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TL;DR May 17th, YC118
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Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2016-05-17 16:16:01 UTC  |  Edited by: Jason Galente
Horde Fleet Commander Travis Keikira Activates Death Star, Blaps Goon Fleet. DBRB Dazed and Confused

Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational Pillow Fortizar!

At the signal of the Horde kazoo, Travis Keikira destroyed 55 hostile interceptors (and a few friendlies) using Pillow Fortizar's point defense system after Imperium Fleet Commander and Sword of the Emperor, dabigredboat, warped his fleet to 16km because he didn't know the Citadel could hit him at that incredibly close range.

The Weekly TL;DR has exclusive footage of this historic fuckup.

Story Update Update! The idiot on comms that lied to me about dbrb's demotion was thrown into a pit of ravenous newbeans.

Dying Wish Foundation Brings Small Child to Intergalactic Summit channel

Little Timmy Ronuken, aged 8, has 3 weeks to live. The Dying Wish Foundation, an organization famous for funding the dreams of children with terminal illnesses before they pass, recently made little Timmy's dreams come true. He always wanted to be a capsuleer when he grew up, so he asked Dying Wish if they could secure him a connection to talk to his childhood idols on the Intergalactic Summit.

Connecting to the channel, Little Timmy was immediately asked to impregnate a fanatical Blood Raider woman, and the organization closed the connection immediately.

Dying Wish Foundation has declined to comment at this time.

Story Update! 30 ft. tall statue in little Timmy Ronuken's honor erected by Morgan Wulver, depicting Timmy riding a white stallion, slaying a fire-breathing woman.

The Mittani Undocks (No, really)

Lolwut.


Capsuleer Karaoke Party Announced, Promising a Repeat of the Anvent Eturrer Execution

Cover your ears.


Makoto Priano Actually Reports Real News

Silly girl, nobody wants real news.


A Side Note: I realize the stories can be a bit Horde/Fade/Those Bee Guys heavy, so if you have any stories you'd like to report to The Weekly TL;DR, please send them to me via mail.

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Avio Yaken
Stay Frosty.
A Band Apart.
#2 - 2016-05-17 16:28:54 UTC  |  Edited by: Avio Yaken
Jason Galente wrote:



Dying Wish Foundation Brings Small Child to Intergalactic Summit channel

Little Timmy Ronuken, aged 8, has 3 weeks to live. The Dying Wish Foundation, an organization famous for funding the dreams of children with terminal illnesses before they pass, recently made little Timmy's dreams come true. He always wanted to be a capsuleer when he grew up, so he asked Dying Wish if they could secure him a connection to talk to his childhood idols on the Intergalactic Summit.

Connecting to the channel, Little Timmy was immediately asked to impregnate a fanatical Blood Raider woman, and the organization closed the connection immediately.

Dying Wish Foundation has declined to comment at this time.





Welp.

There goes my sides, thanks OP

Although its truly tragic situation Timmy is in..

(.___________________________________________.)/
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#3 - 2016-05-17 16:35:54 UTC
Hey! Avios back!!! Hi avio!!!!
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#4 - 2016-05-17 16:43:23 UTC
Jason Galente wrote:
a fanatical Blood Raider woman


Was it Funk ?

I bet it was Funk.

It sounds like it was Funk.

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Rook Moray
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2016-05-17 16:43:28 UTC
During the fight I got the chance to dock up in Saranen because I needed to buy a new ship....yeah, yeah, reasons. Kinda flattering that my lil ole Ares got alpha'd. Means I was doing my job.

But I gotta say, having been in that station, I don't see what's so special about it. Truth, it's kind of a dump. Maybe the Goons finally realized that they've been camping in a hovel? Maybe after Boat got blap tooted by Travis and our Pillow Fort(izar), they got a bad case of station-envy and didn't want to stay in their space-tent any longer?

I'm not sayin my presence there scared Mittens into undocking. I'm sure it was just a coincidence...

But hey, I made it back to O1Y in the same pod I left with and caused a lot more ISK damage than I got., So yeah, good fight.

Saranen is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to spend two years docked up there. 6/10. Would visit again.


“When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.” -Guristas Proverb.
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2016-05-17 16:46:57 UTC
Rook Moray wrote:
During the fight I got the chance to dock up in Saranen because I needed to buy a new ship....yeah, yeah, reasons. Kinda flattering that my lil ole Ares got alpha'd. Means I was doing my job.

But I gotta say, having been in that station, I don't see what's so special about it. Truth, it's kind of a dump. Maybe the Goons finally realized that they've been camping in a hovel? Maybe after Boat got blap tooted by Travis and our Pillow Fort(izar), they got a bad case of station-envy and didn't want to stay in their space-tent any longer?

I'm not sayin my presence there scared Mittens into undocking. I'm sure it was just a coincidence...

But hey, I made it back to O1Y in the same pod I left with and caused a lot more ISK damage than I got., So yeah, good fight.

Saranen is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to spend two years docked up there. 6/10. Would visit again.




What are you talking about?

I thought it was a nice soda warehouse.

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Rook Moray
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2016-05-17 16:49:10 UTC
Jason Galente wrote:


What are you talking about?

I thought it was a nice soda warehouse.



Could you spend two years living in a soda warehouse?


“When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.” -Guristas Proverb.
Karina Ivanovich
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#8 - 2016-05-17 16:53:00 UTC  |  Edited by: Karina Ivanovich
Rook Moray wrote:
Jason Galente wrote:


What are you talking about?

I thought it was a nice soda warehouse.



Could you spend two years living in a soda warehouse?




If it were the right soda I might. But not with all those poor wretches that currently live there. I may come from the Caldari State, but even I have SOME standards on whom I will associate with. Bees are not normally on my list.

Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
Avio Yaken
Stay Frosty.
A Band Apart.
#9 - 2016-05-17 17:31:43 UTC
Deitra Vess wrote:
Hey! Avios back!!! Hi avio!!!!



Hellooooooooo~

(.___________________________________________.)/
D'Hoffryn Farhat
Doomheim
#10 - 2016-05-17 21:52:29 UTC
As Miss Funk's attorney, I'm asking Jason Galente to cease and desist this slander.

It should be noted that Miss Funk has no interest in minors or baselines and is currently in a relationship.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#11 - 2016-05-17 22:10:02 UTC
To be fair, he never mentioned Anyanka..... Also..... The Mittani really undocked??? Didn't realize those bee guys are that desperate for active members....
Rook Moray
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#12 - 2016-05-17 22:12:33 UTC
D'Hoffryn Farhat wrote:
As Miss Funk's attorney, I'm asking Jason Galente to cease and desist this slander.

It should be noted that Miss Funk has no interest in minors or baselines and is currently in a relationship.



As Mr. Galente's attorney I would like to answer your request. Simply put...

Go **** yourself.

It should be noted that if you seriously want to serve a "cease and desist" request, you can deliver it, in person, to the O1Y-ED Pillow Fortizar.

Have a nice day.


“When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.” -Guristas Proverb.
Karina Ivanovich
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2016-05-17 22:42:20 UTC  |  Edited by: Karina Ivanovich
As Mr. Galente's self proclaimed and *unofficial* publicist I must protest your protest of his Totally Laudable and Dependable Reporting**.

Also, according to Caldari State PENAL code 348-23A Subsection AF43 paragraph 76 line 42: "Slander and Libal claims that are inconsequential to the affairs of the state are subject to public discourse before being brought before the courts." Similar statutes are in effect in all Empire state.

Therefore I invite anyone claiming the opposite of what is proclaimed here to offer up proof to the contrary or be on their way.




*Karina Ivanovich takes and claims no responsibility for the actions of Jason Galente or Rook Moray. (Although I quite like said actions most of the time)

**TL;DR is neither owned nor operated by Karina Ivanovich or her constituents.

Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#14 - 2016-05-18 04:49:34 UTC
Rook Moray wrote:
D'Hoffryn Farhat wrote:
As Miss Funk's attorney, I'm asking Jason Galente to cease and desist this slander.

It should be noted that Miss Funk has no interest in minors or baselines and is currently in a relationship.



As Mr. Galente's attorney I would like to answer your request. Simply put...

Go **** yourself.

It should be noted that if you seriously want to serve a "cease and desist" request, you can deliver it, in person, to the O1Y-ED Pillow Fortizar.

Have a nice day.



Just warp in under their defence at 16Km.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#15 - 2016-05-18 04:53:45 UTC
Jason Galente wrote:


The Mittani Undocks (No, really)

Lolwut.


Wait. He's a real person!? I thought he was a myth, like Amarrian compassion... or an intelligent Diana Kim post.....

I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#16 - 2016-05-18 04:53:46 UTC  |  Edited by: Deitra Vess
Uh Claudia..... I don't think that would help.....

Also, Diana has had one or two intelligent posts. They're surprisingly refreshing from the whole "death to Gallante" slant she always has, and honestly if she did more of them she more than likely would actually gain supporters.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#17 - 2016-05-18 14:45:22 UTC
Deitra Vess wrote:
Uh Claudia..... I don't think that would help.....

You don't know until you try.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#18 - 2016-05-18 15:02:08 UTC
Hooray, I already have unpaid interns!

Thanks Rook and Karina!

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
Yarosara Ruil
#19 - 2016-05-18 15:40:34 UTC
Could you guys not bad talk my boss, please?

She embarrasses me and the entire corporation enough already without you guys helping! And at this rate I'll have to wear a paper bag on my head or something...

That or biomass myself. Apparently you are not supposed to use Inferno Precision Missions on Battleships or something...
Jason Galente
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#20 - 2016-05-18 16:51:46 UTC
Story Update! dabigredboat has been demoted from fleet command

Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole. And this foundation must be defended.

At any cost
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