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Intergalactic Summit

 
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Huogikku Corporation proudly presents Its newest projects.
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Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#1 - 2015-12-11 03:14:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Foley Aberas Jones
((DUST post))

The video opens with Foley walking on screen wearing a combat dropsuit..with a business suit over it. The Background seems to be inside the lobby of Huogikku Corporation's headquarters, seems to be very neat, has a modern Caldari design of it, has a fountain built in behind the elevators and several statues of what seems to be be of past CEOs of Ishukone scattered around the lobby

"Hi Foley Jones here! And Let me say it brings me much joy to finally be able to release information on our newest project!" the screen fades to a empty white room and Foley walks back on screen, this time wearing the robes of a Amarr bishop "Before you ask, i totally did not steal theses...I borrowed them...Without the owner knowing.....But anyway! i would like to introduce you all with the first item on the list" Foley then walks to the left with the camera following behind him, the two stop in front of a table with a rectangular device that is as long as your forearm. Foley Picks up the device and shows it to the camera, its body is made of sleek steel with some sort of relay in the middle of it "This is the "S4N-R3..or "Snare" If you will and this device has a simple, but useful function, this device works much like a Stasis webifer that Capsuleers would use to be assholes to each other..except this would be used against infantry! let me show you...."
Foley places the device on the ground and walks towards the background and accidentally bumps into the wall, he mutters a few swear words before turning around..he then rolls up the right sleeve of the robes to use the wrist computer on his suit. A statistic pale sphere appears around the device that covers about 4-5 yards, the camera then zooms back onto Foley "This is what it does...It makes a big dumb bubble..Ok it does more" Foley is handed a apple, he shows it too the camera and tosses it into the bubble, the apple slowly moves though the bubble, slowly descending to the floor the "snare" creates a sphere in a 5 yard radius around the device that slows down momentum of any and all matter that enters its field.


"Whats military does this have? say you need to lock down a chock point, or set up the perfect ambush or need to set up non-lethal traps..this is were the "Snare" can be useful, the "Snare" is remote operated, simply place it and wait for unsuspecting enemies to cross by then flip the switch and slow them down to launch the perfect ambush, were they are slower to react, shoot, or run for cover...Easy targets...Sure, you could us explosives..But this could be used as a alternative to prevent unnecessary damage"

the Camera zoomes out to shows in light scout drop suits about 30 yards away from the "Snare". A alarm is sounded and the three dusters begin a mad dash towards the trap, they clear 20 yards in about 4 seconds and as soon as they enter the sphere there is a sudden difference in the speed of the Dusters, to show that the camera is not in slow motion mode, Foley begins to walk around the sphere while playing a tuba becasue **** why not? It takes the Dusters 5 seconds to run straight though the bubble. Foley tosses the Tuba to the side and fixes himself up

"I'm sorry did i just blow your ******* mind? really sorry there, but you just witnessed theses three dusters clear 20 yards in 4 seconds, but it takes them 5 seconds just to clear 10 yards within the bubble. Now imagine with ******* machine guns zeroed in on them and snipers looking to pop them in the ******* head! Easy pickings man...Now i think i showed you enough of how it works, lets talk about some boring as **** details!"


Video cuts to Foley kicking the doors in to Huogikku Corporation lab with the camera in front of him, Foley followers after the camera while showing off the lab and how everyone is working on various things like Blenders, Hover cycles and chainsaws "The "Snare" comes in several Versions..We showed you the basic version of it but there is also a proximity version that will fire up the trap own its own, sadly this variant has a shorter life span as half the power is being used to operate the device's sensors and there is no way to turn it off." As he is walking he causally takes a coffee mug and doughnut from a scientist he passes, he tastes the coffee only to then spit it out "Wow what the **** is this? cappuccino?" he shrugs and tosses the mug behind him, and begins to nom on the doughnut while he grabs a veil of some..Green liquid, he tastes it and gives the expression of 'this is not bad at all' and down sit all...a nearby scientist has a blank expression when observing this "Now don't ask me how this **** works exactly..has to do with..gravity and..force and ****..I just give the ideas!"

Foley then walks into another room that appears to be...a kitchen? yeah its a kitchen..He takes the bishop robes off to reveal his combat suit, he then is handed a Minmatar wrestling match that he puts on over his face "Now before we go to commercial break i wanna show off something small..Its called the "Tactical Napkin" and it is used when you have filth you need to remove with precision and skill, the "Tactical Napkin" is there to do just that....Strong, reliable and easy to use! Kitchen messes are a thing of the past with the "Tactical Napkin" "

Foley then pulls out several jars of various liquids over the counter and prepares a "tactical Napkin". "This thing is strong enough to adsorb Water!' Wipes up water "Grease!" wipes up grease "Gravy!" Wipes up gravy "Blood!" Wipes up blood "And whatever the **** this is" Wipes up mystery liquid "And this son of a ***** is still ready for more cleaning..Stop buying ****** cheap napkin,s buy Huogikku Corporation "Tactical Napkins"!

"Alright, we are not done yet! But we need to take a break..We will be back later today with part two of our reveals, stay tuned!"
Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#2 - 2015-12-11 03:17:46 UTC  |  Edited by: Foley Aberas Jones
Video resumes with Foley sitting behind a elaborately made wooden desk with the a city skyline int he background as he reads from a comic book with his feet proped up on the desk. "HaHa! Comet Cowdoys, you guys are so witty..." He then notices the camera recording him "Oh ****, am i on? err" tosses the comic book to the side and quickly sits like a professional CEO "Hi Foley Jones here again! You seen the "Snare" in all its glory...Now i got some new tech for you to check out, we call our next masterpiece the " Uplink Jammer".



Video fades out to a white room much like the one during the "Snare" presentation with Foley wearing 5 different sunglasses "The Uplink Jammer does what it names suggest, jams those mother ******* up links that are a pain int he ass when trying to take a point..they would be stored in some obscure corner or on top of some roof..**** that, i went into our Labs and told them to make a device that makes all uplinks explode simultaneously when activated near them...Sadly we could not have that, but we find something we COULD do and that is a jammer..Let me show it works" Foley then walks over to a table that has a small tower like device that has 3 legs, one long pole and umbrella like head that has various sensors and relays on it, Foley then snaps his fingers and the entire environment changes to a battlefield.explosions, bullets and shouting can be heard, seems like a real battle..Except you have Foley wearing several sunglasses, in a business suit just standing in the middle of the fire fight trying to sell you a robotic umbrella



He then walks over to one side and vaults over some cover, into a building and shows the camera a giant pile of up link devices scattered all over the floor pulsating with activity "this **** right here? This is Cancer! And if you don't know what a uplink is let me tell you!" Foley clears his throat as Dusters spawn int he background from the uplinks "A Uplink is a device that is common on almost every battlefield that Dusters are involved in, Uplinks were originally used by the Amarr to tether slaves to a certain spot..if they got out of range then it recalls them in the most painful way possible...How it works is that it uses wormhole technology to allow someone to travel a great distance in the blink of a eye, Dusters sue this to get to the front line as quickly as possible..but one downside, using this not only puts you in intense pain, but it also will kill you after a few hours due to the radiation you will be exposed to...Not that i told you how it works, let me explain the device that Huogikku corporation has made to counter this bullshit!"


Foley places the device in the middle of the room and activates it, all the uplinks suddenly sparks few times before powering down completely "Looks simple, but let me go into detail, this employable uses Gravmetic based jamming technology that targets tears in space-time that wormholes exhibit, and then floods the area with Gravitonic particles that inhibit wormhole formation....Any hostile uplink within 7 yards it will attack and disrupt....It won't remove the uplink forever but it is a quick way to disable hidden uplinks temporarily to allow forces to move in and not worry about enemy reinforcements..Just place it outside a building some shitheads are holded up in and force one or two to come outside to destroy the jammer....Of course there is a drawback with this..i won't lie, the device uses a **** load of energy to run and is constantly working and searching for signals, with that happening, the Jammer lights up like the night sky of Callie on federation day on everyone's radar..so they will know were exactly this son of a ***** is"


Foley snaps his fingers and reappears in the white room from before "but we have different variants..we have the "Mute" Which runs silently enough not to appear on any radars..but the trade off is that it has a shorter range to disrupt uplinks. We also have the "Lite" version that is far more lightweight, requires less PG and CPU, has a radius of 5.50 yards...downside is though it does not "Jam" the uplinks..it just slows its down and it takes longer to form wormholes, which will buy a team some time to rush a point if they are into "Hit and run". Also before we go we want to stress the severity of the current state of this tech..its still far in its prototype stages and testing it...has..gave us some disturbing results...One case being the jammer collapses a wormhole while a Duster is still traveling though it and..Well..They come out on the other end without legs or..a head..or...arms...Its pretty dangerous in its current state...but we are working on preventing this..."


Well thats it for now...Might be back later with 1 more item on the list, for now, feel free to ask any and all questions with the items presented so far


Signign out for now!

Huogikku Corporation!
-ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
#3 - 2015-12-11 09:56:26 UTC
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
"I'm sorry did i just blow your ******* mind?"


Not really.

I've heard of and firsthand seen that kind of equipment being used by elite Blood Raiders infantry units and specialist RSS agents for years now.

I'll suppose you just reverse engineered one of theirs, slapped it in a nice looking case, gave it a fancy name and are now relying on the media hype and Caldari consumer culture to sell them.

The tactical napkin was far more impressive.
  • Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim

Angels are never far...

Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc
Anslo
Scope Works
#4 - 2015-12-11 13:48:57 UTC
Too bad you can't reverse engineer a good post...or an active corporation.

I'll take 300 Snare units.

And a couple packs of tactical napkins.

Thanks for the FK-U-M9's by the way.

[center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]
Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#5 - 2015-12-14 16:17:12 UTC
That's all well and good, but when are you going to make the combat grill? Some of us want a nice rack of ribs in the combat zone....

I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.