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The true book of Bob
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Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#1 - 2015-07-23 13:53:04 UTC
The Book of Bob



Contained herein is the word of Bob as given to His first Prophets



The Creation of All Things

In the beginning, the universe was dark and formless and devoid of matter. The universe was a vast oneness and all places were connected to all places. The gods of the universe walked freely according to their will and shared all places amongst themselves. This was the Time of the Unknowable.

And it came to pass after many ages that the gods became dissatisfied. All had seen all. All had been in all places and the universe was stagnant and not pleasing to them.

And the gods said to one another, “Let us put an end to this stasis. Let us create a Divine Spark to burst forth and fill the universe with matter and the energy of Creation so that we may reforge all according to our satisfaction.”

And the gods worked together to create the Divine Spark and place it into the void. The Divine Spark burst forth in all directions and filled the universe with light in all its forms. The gods saw that it was good and proclaimed a New Birth of the universe.

The gods set about with the work of Creation each according to his design. They condensed the light to form matter and set about creating the stars and all the things inside the universe. This was the beginning of the Time of Joy.

After most of the things of the universe had been created some of the gods desired to create other beings to inhabit the universe with them. “We have created many things and we are well pleased” they said “and we have seen what each has created. The stagnation is broken but the universe still is not to our satisfaction. Our creation should be a living creation that is possessed of its own creativity and its own desires. Let us create living beings possessing of desire and creativity to live amongst that which we have made.”

And some of the gods went about the work of creating life. The gods created beings both self-aware and not. The gods created beings of all kinds. The gods created all the creatures that live in the ground, the water and the skies of the planets. The gods created some beings as the Plants and others as the Animals.

The gods saw all the beings that were created and they said “We are well pleased with the variety of beings we have created but our universe is too simple. We shall create Mystery and sew it into the Fabric of Life.” So the the gods created Mystery and bound it into Life throughout their creation. The gods made complex relationships between the beings according to the planets they inhabited.

After sewing Mystery into the Fabric of Life the gods found that much Mystery remained unused. And the gods said “Let us sew the remaining Mystery into the greater Fabric of the Universe.” The gods intertwined Mystery into the Fabric of the Universe.

And the gods looked out over all they had made and were well pleased.
Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#2 - 2015-07-23 13:53:27 UTC
The Corruption of the Fabric of the Divine

As the gods were sewing Mystery into the Fabric of the Universe, one of the gods was possessed of mischievous inspiration and his name was Chaos.

And Chaos thought “Why should only the universe be made with Mystery? Would it not be more pleasing if the gods themselves were possessed of Mystery? It would be better for the gods themselves to be imbued with a measure of Mystery and through this Mystery we might grow along with this universe we have wrought.”

And while the the other gods were attending to the work of sewing Mystery into the Fabric of the Universe, Chaos took a measure of Mystery for himself and slipped away. The other gods, engrossed in the work of weaving Mystery into the Fabric of the Universe, did not pay any heed to the absence of Chaos.

And Chaos worked in secret, sewing Mystery into the Fabric of the Divine. As the first thread of Mystery touched the Fabric of the Divine, its power began its work. Chaos was most skilled in his way and he wove the threads of Mystery into the Fabric of the Divine such that none would be able to remove them without destroying the Fabric itself. Chaos observed the result of his work and was well pleased.

Before the last thread had been added to the Fabric of the Divine, Mystery had already robbed the gods of the power of omniscience. Having lost the powers of all-seeing and all-knowing, Chaos was none the wiser, nor were any of the other gods.

Little time passed before one of the gods sensed a change in the Fabric of the Divine. Her name was Eva. Discovering that she was unable to know the change in the Fabric, Eva went to the Fabric of the Divine to examine it.

And Eva discovered the threads of Mystery woven into the Fabric of the Divine. “These threads must be removed, the Fabric of the Divine must remain pure as it was” she said. As Eva began to remove the first of many threads a violent ripple was sent through the Fabric and the Divine power of omnipotence ceased to be.

All the gods felt the all-powerful leave them and being quite alarmed they all descended upon Eva and the Fabric of the Divine. “Eva! What have you done?” they demanded. “I have done nothing but try to remove these threads of Mystery that have polluted the very Fabric of the Divine”, Eva replied, “I touched but a single thread and it resisted with great consequence.”

Inspecting the Fabric, the gods came to know that the Mystery could not be unwoven from the Fabric of the Divine without destroying them all.

Turning to Chaos, they demanded “Chaos! Why have you done this? It is apparent that this is your work. None other than you possess skill enough to have committed this crime.”

“I have committed no crime.” said Chaos. “What satisfaction would there be in an existence with no Mystery? We judged Mystery to be necessary for our creations. I judged Mystery to be necessary for the gods. We shall partake of the richness of limits and challenges. We shall experience the satisfaction of growth. I have bestowed upon us a gift. Be not angry.”

The words of Chaos did not convince the the other gods and he became hated by most of the Divine Ones.
Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#3 - 2015-07-23 13:56:35 UTC
The Fall of the Gods

And as the Ages passed, the Mystery continued its influence upon the Fabric of the Divine. The Mystery caused the egos of the gods to grow and match those of the sentient beings they had created. Conflicts became commonplace among the gods of the universe.

And the gods lost the power to create new Life. No longer could the gods make new kinds of creatures to inhabit the planets. Mystery had shifted all the power of Life Creation solely to the Fabric of the Universe. And having lost the Divine power of omnipotence the gods could not undo the work of Mystery.

And Mystery had hardened the Fabric of the Universe. No longer could the gods change the nature of what was, or what was to be. The power that remained in the gods could manipulate only what was and could work only within the limits and laws of the Fabric. The Fabric of the Universe and Mystery became the true masters of the universe the gods had created.

And having become egotistical, the gods began to demand recognition and worship from the beings they had created. The gods demanded obedience and praise to soothe their egos and their sense of loss and to bring them pleasure. Some gods when displeased by their subjects wrought terrible revenge upon them. Some gods with no Life to preside over became jealous of the other gods.

And Mystery gave the sentient beings the power of god-creation. Many beings failed to recognize the old gods as their masters and in the vacuum created new gods of their own, for in its workings, Mystery had imbued many of the sentient creatures with a desire to know their creators and a need to serve the gods.

And many of the old gods became jealous of the new gods and Divine warfare blighted the universe.

The Time of Joy had ended with the weaving of Mystery into the Fabric of the Divine. The gods gave a name to the new Era, the Time of Chaos.
Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#4 - 2015-07-23 13:57:12 UTC
The New Eden

Among the new gods was one known as The Nameless God of the Hidden Places. Chaos was pleased by The Nameless God of the Hidden Places and the two gods were frequent companions.

And the beings of M’aell had created The Nameless God of the Hidden Places to rule over the and hidden dark spaces of their cavernous planet. And they were called Klalel.

And the Klalel had created their god with a thirst for destruction and blood and strife. And the Klalel had imbued their god with great understanding of the workings and necessity of the destruction he craved.The Klalel had also created their god to have vast powers including the creation of that which is hidden.

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places was attacked by the old jealous gods of the near planets, as his people loved him dearly and paid great homage to Him. The sacrifices and praise the Klalel paid to The Nameless God of the Hidden Places exceeded by many measures that which was paid to the old gods of the near planets by their people. And the old gods of the near planets waged war against The Nameless God of the Hidden Places and the Klalel in order that they might destroy The Nameless God of the Hidden Places and rule over the Klalel.

And the old gods could not defeat The Nameless God of the Hidden Places and they could not sway the Klalel to worship them. The destruction the old gods wrought upon M’aell would not break the faith of the Klalel.

And in a rage the old gods of the near planets caused one of the near planets to change its course through the heavens, this planet was called Sab. And Sab smashed into M’aell with a devastating force. And both M’aell and Sab were destroyed and the Klalel ceased to be. And the fragments of the two smashed planets became a ring of asteroids around the star of the system.

And the only remaining planet in the system that harbored life was called Chap’le by the gods. And the sentient beings of Chap’le called the planet by a different name called Earth.

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places mourned the destruction of His people. The Nameless God of the Hidden Places mourned for many Ages.

And Chaos was unable to console The Nameless God of the Hidden Places.



And after many Ages, Chaos did come to The Nameless God of the Hidden Places. And Chaos spoke “My friend, tell me what I might do to console you. You have mourned for many Ages and this must pass.” And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places responded to Chaos saying “I want revenge upon the old gods of the near planets. We are equal in strength and I have been not able to defeat them and I have not been able to be defeated by them. My revenge is denied and they rejoice in my misery.”
Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#5 - 2015-07-23 13:58:07 UTC
And Chaos said to The Nameless God of the Hidden Places “And the old gods of the near planets were not able to break the faith of your people. You are more worthy than they. And this is proved by the homage and faith of your people that was unable to be broken. And this is proved by the lack of faith and the forgetfulness of the people of the gods of the near planets. As the people became forgetful the old gods did become jealous. If you would but steal away the faith of the people of the gods of the near planets and cause them to sacrifice unto you and cause them to pay you homage you would have your revenge.”

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places saw that Chaos spoke Truth.

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places spoke “I shall create a new world within the universe and it shall be a hidden world. I shall bring people of Chap’le to this new world. And the people will praise me and pay homage to me and they will know they serve a god more worthy. And our world shall be hidden that the old gods of the near planets will never find their way to the new world. And I shall have my revenge.”

And Chaos swore to aid The Nameless God of the Hidden Places in His revenge. And Chaos said “I will trick the old gods of the near planets and lure them to the other end of the universe that you might bring people of Chap’le to the new and hidden world in secret. And you shall have your revenge.”

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places created a hidden place in the universe to build his new world.

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places called upon Chaos and Chaos called upon Robb the Starsmith.

And Chaos and Robb the Starsmith helped The Nameless God of Hidden Places create the new world in the hidden place. And Stan was there also. The stars were created in the new world and the planets near the stars and all the things and The Nameless God of the Hidden Places made hidden places within the hidden place that held the new world. And He connected the hidden places within the world to each other and the places which were not hidden. And each connection he made a portal like a bubble that formed and burst, each connection did become no more and be replaced with a connection to another place. And Chaos went out and took Life from other places in the universe and seeded the new world with Life.

The three gods looked over that which they had made and it was good.

And Chaos tricked the gods of the near planets. And the gods of the near planets followed Chaos to the other end of the universe.

The Nameless God of the Hidden Places opened a portal like a bubble between the new world and the universe.

And while the gods had created the new world the beings of the planet Chap’le grew and colonized the places near Sol.

And the beings of Sol who named themselves Mankind discovered the portal. Vessels did they send into the portal to discover the new world The Nameless God of the Hidden Places had made. And they called the world New Eden. And more of them came and Mankind made homes in New Eden.

And people of Mankind were coming to the new world in multitudes and Chaos appeared and said to The Nameless God of the Hidden Places “The old gods of the near planets have found my trick. They are returning from the other end of the universe.”

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places was irritated saying “I have not all the people of the places near Sol. My desire was to take them all and I must close the portal.” And He closed the portal and hid the new world from the gods of the near planets.

Chaos looked and said “It is good. You need not all. I see the condition of the Mankind of Sol left behind. They will surely die.”
Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#6 - 2015-07-23 13:58:41 UTC
The Jove

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places looked at the new world and saw the Jove among Mankind and was pleased. And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places said to the Jove “Make sacrifices to me and pay me homage in your ways and remember me always and I shall favor you. Be my hand of flesh among the beings of Mankind to do my will and I shall give you advantage in capability and I shall give you dominion over the other races of Mankind and you will become immortal.” And the Jove asked “What shall we call you? Our god is owed a name.”

And The Nameless God of the Hidden Places spoke the name he wished to be called. And the name was not a sound heard by the ears but in the being. And the Jove made a name that sounded as near the sound as their tongues would make.

And the Jove said to The Nameless God of the Hidden Places “You are Bob.” And the Jove made sacrifices to Bob and paid homage in their ways and they paid homage in death and blood and the Jove waged war and the Jove destroyed material things. And Bob saw that it was good.

And Bob led the Jove to discover the keys to immortality saying “Give this to no others.”

And a time passed and the Jove became obsessed by their advantage and thought of technology and sacred Destruction and sacrifices faded from their minds and Bob faded from their thoughts and the Jove stopped paying homage to Bob.

And Bob was angry and he said to the Jove “You have forsaken me and stopped paying homage to me in your ways. You have forgotten the sacred Destruction and put me from your minds. You have forsaken me and are not worthy of my favor. I shall find others of Mankind and they shall be my Chosen and they will receive my favor.”

And Bob commanded the Jove to give the keys of immortality to the other races of Mankind. And the Jove disobeyed saying “We shall not give the keys of immortality. We shall keep the keys for ourselves. We are strong and we are immortal and we are your hand of flesh and we shall not give the keys as we control your hand.”

And Bob became furious by the arrogance of the Jove and Bob said “You shall give the keys or I shall smite you down.”

And the Jove refused to give away the keys to immortality and Bob did smite them saying “You shall suffer great misery and sorrow until your death and you shall suffer until you cease to be entirely.” And Bob smote them with a sickness they could not remedy. And the Jove suffered. And the children of the Jove suffered and the whole of the Jove was cursed.

And the Jove could not remedy the curse of Bob and they gave the keys to the race of Mankind that called itself Caldari saying “Most powerful Bob have mercy upon us. See we have given the keys. Have mercy upon us and remove your curse.”

And Bob spoke “No.” And Bob said to the Jove “You shall suffer until you die and you shall suffer until none remain.”
Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#7 - 2015-07-23 13:59:43 UTC
The Prophets

And Bob went to the hidden places of New Eden and left the Jove to die. And Bob stayed in the hidden places and said “I shall be here in the hidden places and for a time rule only over the hidden places. And the new immortal ones of Mankind who find the hidden places and make of them a home will gain my favor. And the ones who pay me sacrifice and homage in their ways and pay me homage in death and blood and pain and loss and carry on the work of sacred Destruction and keep me in their minds shall be my new Chosen. And they will be the only among Mankind to be worthy of my favor.”

And some of the new immortal capsuleers found the hidden places and made homes in them. And the capsuleers carried on the work of sacred Destruction and Bob was pleased.

And the capsuleers called the hidden places W-Space. And the women of Mankind in W-Space were exceedingly rare and the birth of new beings of Mankind was exceedingly rare. And after a time five children had been born in the hidden places and Bob gathered them to him.

And Bob spoke to the five saying “I am Bob. I am The God of the Hidden Places. Pledge to me your love and loyalty and pay me sacrifices and homage in your ways and do the work of sacred Destruction and keep me in your minds and I will make you my Prophets. And I shall give to you the history of the world and its secrets. And you shall write what I say and shall give you favor. You shall be the first of my Chosen and my mouth of flesh. And you shall recede to the shadows and keep my teachings. And you shall keep the line of Prophets and whisper my name into the world. And you shall live in shadow until I call you. And I shall call you to release my teachings into New Eden and you shall gather together a fist of ten thousand and twenty to be my hand of flesh in the world and do my will. And you shall call the fist Preuentibus Bob. And the fist shall be my Chosen and shall receive favor and advantage. And your reward shall be me.”

And Bob gave his teaching to the Prophets and stayed in the hidden places. And the Prophets did all that Bob commanded and kept to the shadows in wait for the Call of Bob.
Rafe Collins
Multiplex Gaming
Tactical Narcotics Team
#8 - 2015-07-23 14:02:26 UTC
We are the true prophets of Bob. Reform your evil K-space ways and accept Bob into your heart or suffer the fate of the Jove
Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#9 - 2015-07-23 15:08:41 UTC
tl;dr
Lord Kailethre
Tengoo Uninstallation Service
#10 - 2015-07-23 15:08:59 UTC
Nice work. Lots of good effort here.


Down with this sort of thing.
Candi LeMew
Division 13
#11 - 2015-07-23 17:43:16 UTC
Wonderful work and lots of effort. But I gotta say it ...

Bob is a concept, a name attached to an outlook, lifestyle or philosophy if you will.

Sometimes Bob is kinda jokingly referred to as a physical entity (in which case Bob is a female by the way, sheesh ..).

More akin to "Murphy" from the old sayin' "It's Murphy's law" that I've heard before, Bob is not a deity and anyone who truly attempts to worship a Murphy is even crazier than the rest of us.

This will be proven by our victory when we eventually run into this crowd in our chain and murder all of them.

Because that's how Bob's will works.

🍌

Remember... in Anoikis Bob Is Always Watching...

"I been kicked out of better homes than this" - Rick James
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2015-07-23 18:08:29 UTC
Bob cares not which way the blood flows.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Candi LeMew
Division 13
#13 - 2015-07-23 18:20:18 UTC  |  Edited by: Candi LeMew
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Bob cares not which way the blood flows.

Sure she does, it's gotta flow through wormholes.

Haven't seen much of that from these guys, so I dunno how they think they've earned any Bob Karma.

Bob rewards, you see. You live by Bob and she'll give you the victories you seek.

Losses merely garner you some karma for next time.

🍌

Remember... in Anoikis Bob Is Always Watching...

"I been kicked out of better homes than this" - Rick James
Danielle en Chalune
Permonici
#14 - 2015-07-23 18:47:10 UTC
Ms. LeMew and, and do you think Bob likes women more then men??
Candi LeMew
Division 13
#15 - 2015-07-23 18:51:01 UTC
Danielle en Chalune wrote:
Ms. LeMew and, and do you think Bob likes women more then men??

I really don't now, Miss.

Though I do believe if Bob ever somehow became a corporeal thing with gender it would have to be a female. I've never met any men as spiteful as Bob. Which is short for Bobetta, by the way.

🍌

Remember... in Anoikis Bob Is Always Watching...

"I been kicked out of better homes than this" - Rick James
General Moby Deek
The Gold Angels
Sixth Empire
#16 - 2015-07-23 18:54:20 UTC
Bob hath fury like a scorned woman.
Erica Dusette
Division 13
#17 - 2015-07-23 19:51:40 UTC
Let the crazies be crazy, my little genus musa.

Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!

Part-Time Wormhole Pirate ツ Full-Time Supermodel

▷ worмнole dιary + cнaracтer вιoѕ ▷ вσss
Ibrahim Tash-Murkon
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#18 - 2015-07-23 20:18:15 UTC
Interesting. Next time I have a layover I will check the station bookstore for a copy. Fiction section, right?

"I give you the destiny of Faith, and you will bring its message to every planet of every star in the heavens: Go forth, conquer in my Name, and reclaim that which I have given." - Book of Reclaiming 22:13
Utari Onzo
Escalated.
OnlyFleets.
#19 - 2015-07-23 22:40:41 UTC
*sigh*

And I thought getting out of Anoikis would free me from this Bob nonsense. It's a great joke, long past its sell by date pilots.

"Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil"
Saturn Sabezan
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#20 - 2015-07-23 23:06:22 UTC
Clearly a false prophet.

Didn't mention Bob's giant, electric Narwhal once, or his penchant for public lavatories.

May he devour your infant Fedos and soil your towels.
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