Alliance & Corporation Recruitment Center

Kind words indeed

Right my little munchkins.

Another bump from the desk of the Marvellous Mithandra, recruiter for the fabulous people at Catastrophic Operations.



But wait Mithandra darling, I hear you say, are you or are you not part of LAWN, which in turn is part of the Imperium, which in turn is controlled by those daemonic, child eating deviants known as the Goons? Why yes, yes we are.

There there dear one, your seizure will pass, and to be honest? throwing holy water at me won't do anything but get me wet.

We are tucked up in Vale of the Silent, a little region we like to call home. What do we do here in our little "Pied a Eve" ?

There's the usual ISK making pastimes such as shooting red crosses, ravaging the roids, exploring, anoms, escalations, building and market trading. The thing is darlings, the IMPORTANT thing is shooting stuff is our raison d'etre, our Joie de vivre, our centre, our reason for waking up in the morning and NOT climbing a clocktower with a high powered rifle.

We adore the PvP. If it had a younger sister with loose morals and a penchant for miniskirts and 6 inch heels we still couldn't love it more than we already do.

Do YOU love the PVP? Do YOU agree that the only reason to take part in tthose other activities is to fund your next PVP ship? Do you dream darlings? Do you dream of seeing your name on a Titan or Super kill? Of carving your name in the annals of history as the greatest, blood thirstiest combat pilot known to the four races of old earths descendants?

If you do; if PvP gives you a tingle in your boy/girl parts, then Catastrophic Operations would love to hear from you.

Our specially trained counsellors are waiting to help you in channel "cat0p public"

Remember, you are special, come join people who understand that.

Aright!!

Listen up you mouth breathers and farm boys.

Sure. You bulls eyed fedos in your Magnate back home, but I'm pretty sure those Fedos weren't strapped in to top of the line Caldari Merchandise, and i'm absolutely certain they didn't have cyno generators fitted to call in reinforcements at need.

So, what I'm trying to say here is, for those of you with linguistic and interpretational difficulties, is it doesn't matter how good you are as an individual Pilot. It doesn't matter how skilled you are. Unless you can mesh in properly with your team, you are undoubtedly a statistic waiting to happen, and the damned thing about that is, you'll probably drag your team down with you into oblivion.

Its a harsh Universe out there Ladies and Gentlemen. Harsh, brutal and unforgiving. Your training here will be harsh, brutal, and your team leaders will be unforgiving. We do not do this because we hate you, though I will admit to mildly disliking each and every scum sucking pond dwelling organism standing in front of me today, each daring to believe that they have what it takes to join my beloved corp. We do it to ensure that when you do screw up and die, it won't because we didn't do our best for you, that WE didn't prepare you for your future in the corp, however brief it might be.

Mesh with your team mates, listen to your FC's, pay attention to your scanners, learn from your mistakes, for as sure as the god of wormholers is called BoB, you will make mistakes.

You will not always win. While you are thinking of ways to destroy your foe, said foe is doing his or her level best to think of ways to ensure your demise. The best laid plans can unravel in a heart beat. Accept that. You will not always win.


That doesn't mean you don't have to try.

Orientation speech to recruits
Saila VII Moon 14 Caldari Navy
Commander Reg Dalon Senior Instructor
Exerpt declassified and released by request



As the good Commander said my little love puppets, we here at Catastrophic Operations value team work. Most activities involving human beings turn out to be much more fun in groups, and a few of the more interesting activities are heavenly with the right partner or partners.

On your own, you will either die, or possibly go blind, if the old wives tales are to be believed. We offer structure and chaos in equal measure, so our dream recruit must be skilled; we prefer 30mill sp or more, but for the right skill set we'll settle for less. Our dream recruit must also be able to follow a plan, and be able to improvise when all hell breaks loose. Our dream recruit must be able to discuss the merits of pegging as a tool for social and interpersonal bonding. Our dream recruit must not be a total asshat; semi-asshattery is acceptable, but complete asshattery is most definitely not. Finally, our dream recruit must be able to use mumble and be in channel whenever they are on line.

Do you think you have what it takes to be a Member of Catastrophic Operations? are you active? and by that dears I don't mean sexually active. Are you EU or US? (though other Tz are also welcome) Can you hold a conversation that isn't one sided and all in your head? If the answer is yes then please, come join us in channel "cat0p public" for a chat. Who knows, we may rock your world.

Im not going to write an essay like my dear friend Mithandra, but heres a sweet little love bump.

Is it not enough that I stand and fight
With my back towards tomorrows light?
Is it still not enough that I give my all
and fight with valour, until spent, I fall?
Is my duty and honour of so little worth
that my grave consists of paupers earth?

Will you care for the ones I leave behind
or will you instead, pay them no mind?
Will you honour your fine oaths to me
as I honoured mine to keep you free?
Will you with your life, honour my death
as I held to my oaths till my dying breath?

The Soldiers lament
Author unknown
Thought to date back to earths final diaspora, before the collapse of the new eden wormhole



Come join Catastrophic Operations. You may not know you want to , but trust me, you really do.

Contact me in game, by convo or evemail. Mithandra.

Join our public channel cat0p public

Why hello my little pew pew munchkins.

After a week of being marvellous, Catastrophic Operations has inducted a whole colony of eager beavers, all itching to get thier pew on.

Now now darlings, don't cry. We still have room for some more special snowflakes.

I shall spare you all from another Marvellous Mithandra Monologue. My CEO wants me to "stick to the recruiting facts Ma'am."

We are indeed looking for more pilots interested In the Pew, however we are also looking for an EU tz Industrial Power House. Someone to gather up the rains of an ad-hoc military-Industrial machine and turn it to the Corporations Advantage, producing "stuff" to shoot at other pilots or to get blown up in.

We already have an awesome captain of industry for the US tz, but bless his little cotton socks, he can't be on twenty four hours a day. He has to sleep sometime. Advanced age is creeping up on him, so we want to lighten his load wherever possible.

What skills will a potential candidate require? Well my hopeful little monopoly boot, if you have to ask the question then you are probably not the Industrial Power House you think you are.

If you are interested in the position of EU Industry Manager, please contact either:-

Mithandra
Yama Epona
Spacetart

We look forward to bringing the successful candidate into the Catastrophic Operations family. Might that be you?

What?

Oh Gods do I have too?

Really?

Well poop.



Catastrophic Operations yada yada yada PvP yada yada Stardust Mina, yada yada pegging yada yada awesome corp yada.


What do you mean not good enough. Good grief everyone's a bleeding heart critic these days.


OKAY OKAY


Welcome one and all, to the Catastrophic Operations recruitment thread. We, along with pretty much every other corporation in EVE, are recruiting. If you look at the first post in this thread you will see the types of pilots we wish to recruit. We have only a few main requirements:-

30 million SP. This is more a guideline than an absolute to be honest. He who must be obeyed (when his wife is not around at least cos she's the real power behind the Corp), has said that this requirement can be waived for the right pilot/skillset combination.

Willing to PvP and to fleet up when called to do so. This one is set in concrete. Not only concrete but reinforced concrete, guarded by Ghurkhas with extremely sharp kukris, and surrounded by Swiss bankers and their Lawyers. Its non negotiable. If you want to join, you have to do the pew when called to do so.

Not a complete asshat. One again, non negotiable. We don't mind semi-asshattery; most of the corp fit into this criteria at one time or other, but complete asshattery is right out.

You must be able to discuss and analyse the ins and outs of pegging. Not sure what it is? Google is your friend. Fair warning?don't do it at work....... or google it at work.

To be honest, that's pretty much it. If you can meet out four requirements, or are pretty sure you can meet our four requirements.... oh hell if you think that with the lights off and serious amounts of free flowing alcohol you can meet our requirements, please contact a recruiter. It may turn out to be the smartest move you will ever make.

Recruiters

Stardust Mina
Mithandra
Spacetart
Yama Epona
Heim Dal

This thread is seriously starting to look a lot like my therapy page.

Catastrophic Operations.

The Ancients thought that all matter was made up of 4 main elements; Air, Earth, Fire and Water. After a few aeons of mulling it over they came to the conclusion that their quadcentric view of the universe did not match with their observations. Some things could not be explained, so they came up with a fifth element (No NOT the film); they named it ETHER and all was good in the land of pointy hats and sacrificial virgins (which by the way is a criminal waste of hot totty).

I have a similar theory concerning eve. My four elements of an evecentric universe are ISK, PEW, EGO and TEARS. Over my many years playing this game I have managed to explain nearly every aspect of the game using a mixture of those four basic building blocks. I say nearly every aspect, because some things could not be explained using my model. Like the Ancients, my view of the EVEverse was failing to match up with my observations, so I was forced to add a fifth element (NO dammit, still not the film). I have named that element ALCOHOL, and also like the ancients, I have tested my theory and found it good.

I challenge you to find a situation, or event in EVE that cannot be explained using the five primordial building blocks I have outlined.

Ah my CEO is giving me the Evil Eye again. Apparently I'm supposed to be recruiting not pontificating. Where's the fun in that I ask you?

Catastrophic Operations. A PVP corporation based in The Vale of the Silent, and part of the LAWN Alliance.

Looking for Pilots with an IQ somewhere north of their shoe size, with a decent attention span, able and willing to fleet up even if the cause looks lost, and able to work unsupervised or as part of a team. Industry Pilots accepted as long as they remember that the primary focus of the corp is PVP, and that they WILL be expected to participate. Dudes If I have to PvP, EVERYONE has to PvP.

If you feel like its time you added lustre to your name, give one of our many fine recruiters a call, or drop in to channel cat0p public for a chat.

I have been Mithandra
This has been the Catastrophic Operations Recruitment thread bump of the day

Good Morning my lovelies

Please, take a couch. One per pilot mind, no spooning.

Just let me set the mood music, something relaxing, Andean pipe music perhaps. and then I shall begin todays rather emotive topic.


With the approach of Fozzie Sov, I have been asked to provide my marvellous services in the field of grief counselling. Not Miner ganking in hisec for those of you in CODE, but grief as in an emotional response to a sense of loss. Sigh, no; miner tears are not the emotional response I am concerned with today CODE. I can only help you if you are willing to accept that help, so please stop disrupting the class, or I shall have to ask you to leave.


Are we all quite comfortable and relaxed? excellent.

I am going to do my best, which by the way is excellent, to prepare you all for the emotional minefield that will be Fozzie Sov. Don't try to convince yourselves that HTFU will get you through this; it won't. Your world view is about to be changed. Things you took to be immutable will be transformed beyond your ability to comprehend. You will experience a rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows, one moment feeling on top of your game, and the next feeling that all of EvE is against you and you are alone, unloved and with nowhere to turn for help and advice. Sigh; once again with the sniggering and comments CODE? Seriously? I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave; your issues are beyond even my marvellous abilities. If you would please follow my assistant, the lovely Stardust Mina, she will introduce you to the nice men with white coats in the next room.

I'm sorry you had to see that my lovelies. It pains me to admit it, but even I have my limitations. It hurts to see people in such pain and denial, and not be skilled enough to provide the help they need. Does anyone have a tissue? I have something in my eye.....

You will all experience five distinct stages of grief and loss during the deployment of Fozzie Sov and also during the following weeks and months. I shall now, with gentleness and compassion, prepare you for them as best I can.


The first stage is Denial and Isolation

"The first reaction to actually experiencing Fozzie Sov will be to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defence mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain."

The amount of time it takes a pilot to overcome this stage varies. Some Pilots move on from denial fairly quickly, others linger wraithlike in its depths for the rest of their, often short, careers. You need to accept that you are in denial, and that you need to move on. Don't lock yourself away from your friends and corp mates. Doing so would just intensify your emotional distress, and inhibit your ability to progress.


The second stage is Anger

"As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may even be directed at our beloved Devs. Rationally, we know the Devs are not inherently evil. Emotionally, however, we may consider them the spawn of Satan for causing us pain . We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry."

You will feel an overwhelming urge to smash, to destroy, to post long hate filled rants on the forums, where you will speculate on the Devs parentage, or indeed lack thereof, and their criminal mismanagement of all things Nullsec. Resist the urge to do so my lovelies. Resist it with all of your might. Hate and anger are negative, destructive emotions and they will eat you up and leave you a hollow shell of your former selves. It would break my heart if that were to happen. I love each and every unique one of you.


The third stage is bargaining

"The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control–

◾If only we had talked to the devs earlier…
◾If only we got a second opinion from another Dev…
◾If only we had tried to be a better person toward them…

Secretly, we may make a deal with BOB or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defence to protect us from the painful reality."


The fourth stage is depression

Two types of depression are associated with Fozzie Sov. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression. We worry about the costs and Sov loss. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our loved one farewell. "

This is the crisis point my darlings. You may feel that it's all pointless and its time to sell up and GTFO. Resist the urge. Don't do anything that you will in all likelihood regret once the stimulants wear off. Talk it out, don't bottle it up. Attend a crisis meeting. Talking about how you feel with others is healthy, not a sign of weakness.

Time to surface this thread again.

Welcome Cat0p curious Pilots. Welcome to the Catastrophic Operations thread which is also known as Mithandra's Manic Musings and Therapy Page.

In this thread I disengage the safety interlocks on my brain and just let it wander where it will. I cordially invite you all to hop on and enjoy the ride. Who knows, after having your eyes opened, your cerebellum stimulated, and your world view challenged, you might even think "hey, these Cat0ps guys and girls are certifiably insane, how do I go about joining?"

Well my little sock puppets, we don't just take anyone; oh my, indeed not. We have standards...... low ones... but still standards.



Standard 1

EVERYONE PvP's when the call goes out for a non discretionary or Corporation Op. Miner, Industrialist, Ratter, Anom Runner; everyone PVP's.


Standard 2.

Potential recruits require 25 million skill points. This standard is not an absolute. If your skill set matches our requirements and you have fewer skill points, we will still consider you.


Standard 3

You must be able to fund your PvP ships, and have them based in the stations nominated, ready to go at a moments notice. Alliance and Corp both run SRP programs so this requirement is not as onerous as it sounds.


Standard 4

You must be active. If you go inactive without letting the CEO know why, don't be surprised to come back to find yourself in an NPC corp.


Standard 5

You must be proactive. Pilots sitting in station whining about lack of content really, REALLY annoy the rest of us. If there is not an Imperium/Alliance/Corp Op to join then get up, get your big girl panties on, and go create content. Opportunities abound in the Vale of the Silent.


Standard 6

When on line, you must be on voice comms. Mumble is our preferred method of communications. Yes I know you prefer TS but it's not up for debate. Mumble or GTFO. Harsh but true.


Standard 7

No AWOXing, stealing from or scamming Corp or Alliance members. Doing so will have consequences.


Standard 8

DO NOT, under any circumstances be an asshat. A lot of things can be forgiven, but if someone is continually being an asshat, they will be kicked, podded, and quite possibly hounded out of the region. The Corp in my opinion is amazingly tolerant, a case in point is my continued membership of said corp, however there is a line ; Don't cross it.


There you have it dear ones. The 8 pillars of Cat0ps. If you feel that all things considered you would like to give yourself the gift of membership in our fine corporation, please:-

Join channel "cat0p public" for a chinwag
Contact me, Mithandra by chat or evemail
Or contact one of our other fine recruiters - Yama Epona, Spacetart, Stardust Mina, Heim Dal

We look forward to your call.



Remember, an open mind leads to an open heart, but too much saturated fat leads to open heart surgery.

Oh, hello my little munchkins. I'm sorry but you've caught me at a less than marvellous moment. No matter though, I shall soldier on as they say.

Why am I not my usual marvellous self? Well my lovers, the corporation had a massive recruitment and publicity drive yesterday that stretched into the wee tiny hours of this morning. Our dedicated recruitment team, aided and abetted by quite a few of our fine corporation pilots took the word to the stars in a bid to save poor pilots from their banal, lacklustre and depressing lives in other lesser corporations.

I am pleased and humbled to report that their sterling efforts resulted in the saving of several little lambs, blessings be to BOB.

What makes our recruiters so effective I wonder? could it be their honesty, their integrity or the fact that they care deeply about you, the unenlightened? I am proud my dears, proud to serve with such as they; proud to stand shoulder to shoulder with a team of pilots so obviously dedicated to easing the pain of the lost and lonely.

Like pre diaspora missionaries, they give freely of their time, without thought of personal gain, to go out amongst the stars, bringing the glory of Catastrophic Operations to the wretched and miserable creatures lurking there in darkness, at the blurred edges of enlightenment.

I salute their efforts. Every soul recruited is a soul placed firmly on the path to beatification.

I myself was saved by Catastrophic Operations members. Oh yes my dears, once I was merely Mithandra, a lost waif, plying my sordid wares across the length and breadth of Hisec; taking comfort and profit where I could. Afraid of everyone and everything, bullied by many, ignored by all. But then they found me. I give thanks to BOB each and every day that they recognised my plight, and saw that I was in need of a home.

Now, thanks to their kindness and compassion, I have metamorphosed into the gorgeous multifaceted, marvellous creature you see before you today. You too could undergo a similar transition if you have but the courage to reach out and ask for their help.

Please, join channel "cat0p public" Be brave; you could be taking your first steps on the road to the only home you will ever need.