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Becoming a pirate
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Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#1 - 2015-03-17 19:39:12 UTC
Hello newbros to new eden, please allow me to introduce myself. I am a purveyor of fine non-consensual PVP buttsex aids (not AIDS mind you), and I have a message...

You need not become mired in endless carebear drudgery.

For a limited time only I am offering you access to time-honored pirate secrets, handed down from one generation of asshats to another.

It's so easy in fact, because this method does not result in CONCORD killing you, a loss in security standing or killrights being granted. It's all astroglide and nothing but net my friends.

So put down the mining lazors, the endless NPC security missions, and go shoot another player in the face.

I thank you for your attention,

F

Would you like to know more?
L'ouris
Have Naught Subsidiaries
#2 - 2015-03-17 20:05:06 UTC
*endorses this product or service*

Mining rocks make your head fall off the neck and drool pool up at the keyboard?
last mission you woke up an hour later because you passed out waiting for your missiles to land?

Just because your new doesn't mean you have to do these things.
Ralph King-Griffin
New Eden Tech Support
#3 - 2015-03-17 20:40:09 UTC
*raises hand*

I am a product of the aforementioned product and/or service.

Click the link in my Sig for proof.

good to see you still have an eye in here dude.

Murderers of Negotiable Motivations

=]|[=
Only-He-Stands-There
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#4 - 2015-03-18 00:57:37 UTC
Had a navy dominix on the hook. Tough for a first so i failed sans dying. Next time i must remember to use navy antimatter for the drones and to manage the cap booster better. Funny stuff though. Kiss me, Feyd
ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors
#5 - 2015-03-18 01:28:48 UTC  |  Edited by: ShahFluffers
I approve of this.

Even if you WANT to carebear, be "left alone," or just don't care much for yarring, non-consenual butt pillaging, and general spaceship violence... it is worth trying for a little while.

After all... what better way to evade a predator than to know how one thinks and operates. :)

How did you Veterans start?
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
#6 - 2015-03-18 02:19:09 UTC  |  Edited by: Jonah Gravenstein
ShahFluffers wrote:
I approve of this.

Even if you WANT to carebear, be "left alone," or just don't care much for yarring, non-consenual butt pillaging, and general spaceship violence... it is worth trying for a little while.

After all... what better way to evade apredator than to know how one things and operate. :)
I too approve of this message, and to paraphrase Shah "if you want to mine in safety, learn how to gank miners".

You'll learn how not to become a gankee and meet some great folks, who just happen to enjoy explosions.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

New Player FAQ

Feyd's Survival Pack
Ralph King-Griffin
New Eden Tech Support
#7 - 2015-03-18 03:11:43 UTC
Some of the funniest **** I have seen in eve has been while flipping bears.

Great way to meet people.

Murderers of Negotiable Motivations

=]|[=
Ned Thomas
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#8 - 2015-03-18 03:36:55 UTC
I endorse all things that encourage newbros to shoot people early and often.

And if any newbros choose not to shoot people but are still ok with people shooting people, I endorse that as well.
Ralph King-Griffin
New Eden Tech Support
#9 - 2015-03-18 11:04:57 UTC
Pro tip: combat scanning is an invaluable skill to have in eve , both for making isk And PvP.

Flipping bears is fantastic practice and An excellent way to hone your ability.

Murderers of Negotiable Motivations

=]|[=
Luv Truckin
Doomheim
#10 - 2015-03-18 13:32:14 UTC
Carebear here. Liked and favourited.
Tipa Riot
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2015-03-18 14:51:10 UTC
One thing on my list of things to try ... I also like Sir Livingston's way of doing it.

I'm my own NPC alt.
Ralph King-Griffin
New Eden Tech Support
#12 - 2015-03-18 15:09:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Ralph King-Griffin
Tipa Riot wrote:
One thing on my list of things to try ... I also like Sir Livingston's way of doing it.

I'm actually quite surprised that the bears bite on his stratios,
apparently they don't think of it as intimidating which is mind boggling to me.

I have to say though the gallente tactical destroyer might be a shoe in for the role if it gets the confessors Sig bonus.


Edit: for any newbros now thinking about trying this in a confessor I'd say don't it can't deal with drones for ****.

Murderers of Negotiable Motivations

=]|[=
Gimme Sake
State War Academy
Caldari State
#13 - 2015-03-19 05:59:46 UTC
You have no idea how many newbies have declared war to mtus after watching those videos. And how many were successful.

"Never not blob!" ~ Plato
Kalishka Ashkulf
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#14 - 2015-03-19 10:01:00 UTC
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
Hello newbros to new eden, please allow me to introduce myself. I am a purveyor of fine non-consensual PVP buttsex aids (not AIDS mind you), and I have a message...

You need not become mired in endless carebear drudgery.

For a limited time only I am offering you access to time-honored pirate secrets, handed down from one generation of asshats to another.

It's so easy in fact, because this method does not result in CONCORD killing you, a loss in security standing or killrights being granted. It's all astroglide and nothing but net my friends.

So put down the mining lazors, the endless NPC security missions, and go shoot another player in the face.

I thank you for your attention,

F


I fully support this initiative and wish more would be willing to help new pilots like Feyd has.

Why, thank you, Thing!
Tristan Valentina
Moira.
#15 - 2015-03-20 16:08:31 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Decoy
Join Gal Mil Fac War if you want all the violence with out the butt stuff. *snip* Recruitment is not allowed in New Citizen Q&A. ~ ISD Decoy
Tipa Riot
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2015-03-20 22:46:13 UTC  |  Edited by: Tipa Riot
Ralph King-Griffin wrote:
Tipa Riot wrote:
One thing on my list of things to try ... I also like Sir Livingston's way of doing it.

I'm actually quite surprised that the bears bite on his stratios,
apparently they don't think of it as intimidating which is mind boggling to me.

Somebody never tried PvP before likely does not know that a mighty battleship can be killed by a dual rep neuting cruiser. I very well remember when my char was young that I felt strong in my lvl2 mission catalyst ... I would certainly alpha this little blinky Merlin sitting on the gate...

I'm my own NPC alt.
McChicken Combo HalfMayo
The Happy Meal
#17 - 2015-03-22 09:19:53 UTC  |  Edited by: McChicken Combo HalfMayo
Some of you reading this might feel you are too honorable to do this yourselves.
If you like to play the good guy you can try the reverse instead. Fit up for PVP, bait one of these pesky pirates into shooting your MTU, and drop some friends on him. Take him on yourself if you've got the courage!

There are all our dominion

Gate camps: "Its like the lowsec watercooler, just with explosions and boose" - Ralph King-Griffin
Jamwara DelCalicoe Ashley
New Eden Tech Support
#18 - 2015-03-23 21:35:58 UTC  |  Edited by: Jamwara DelCalicoe Ashley
I replied to one of Feyd's threads a while back and it changed the entire outlook and direction of my Eve career.

Thank me later :D
Kadon Kain
Doomheim
#19 - 2015-03-25 07:28:30 UTC  |  Edited by: Kadon Kain
A friendly bump out of respect. I appreciate the blog, and of course the continued perseverance of all pirates who hate the taste of doughnuts and enjoy a bit of time by themselves. The glaze is sickening to me. o7
Eric Shang
Black Layer Syndicate
Pan-Intergalatic Business Community
#20 - 2015-03-25 08:55:18 UTC
I approve of this post.

Ex Pirate - Now a reborn priest for Faith Singularity

My Pirate Journey: http://ericshangthepirate.wordpress.com/
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