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At long last, BACON armor!
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Doc Fury
Furious Enterprises
#1 - 2014-12-13 18:09:08 UTC  |  Edited by: Doc Fury
Behold!

Bacon safety armor for the kitchen.


No version for the ladies.. yet.

☼

There's a million angry citizens looking down their tubes..at me.
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#2 - 2014-12-13 18:20:31 UTC
Doc Fury wrote:
No version for the ladies.. yet.


because we're smart enough to not fry bacon naked.
Frank Millar
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2014-12-13 18:28:02 UTC
Bacon is best fried naked. The danger adds to the crispiness. Cool
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#4 - 2014-12-13 18:40:55 UTC
They don't have one matching both my waist size and my bust size.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#5 - 2014-12-13 18:45:34 UTC
Frank Millar wrote:
Bacon is best fried naked. The danger adds to the crispiness. Cool


well i prefer mine not super crispy but not really chewy either...somewheres in between.
Mr Epeen
It's All About Me
#6 - 2014-12-13 19:25:50 UTC
I hate to be the downer in this porcine lovefest, but if you are wearing Bacon armor, you aren't actually naked. Are you?

Kind of defeats the purpose vOv

Mr Epeen Cool
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2014-12-13 19:27:16 UTC
We're all naked underneath our clothes.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Commissar Kate
Kesukka
#8 - 2014-12-13 19:50:15 UTC
Where is Carmen to see this?


CARMS!!!! Come look at this!

-k8

My Fanclub
Doc Fury
Furious Enterprises
#9 - 2014-12-13 20:41:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Doc Fury
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Doc Fury wrote:
No version for the ladies.. yet.


because we're smart enough to not fry bacon naked.


Apparently not all of you..

CBS (Cool Bacon Story)

Many years ago I had a tryst with a "dancer" for a couple months. She was not too bright and was crazy as a outhouse rat, but it was the closest thing to having a Ferengi wife as I have encountered because she didn't like to wear clothes at home. I made a joke once about her bringing her work home with her, but she didn't really get it.

Anyhoo.. one Saturday morning she decides to cook me breakfast after downing a couple glasses of wine. Things were going pretty good I guess until she dropped-in the second batch of bacon and the pan (and grease) was smokin' hot. She got splashed really good, screamed and dumped the remaining wine from her glass on herself to cool things down. By the time I got to the kitchen (half asleep) it looked to me like she was covered in blood and she was staring at me sobbing with a look of sheer terror. I grabbed a towel, and rushed to assist, but slipped on the grease & wine combo that was on the floor, and as a result that sent both of us crashing into the cabinets and then the floor. As we laid there for a moment I realized it was wine and not blood, and she had some new big pink and red marks like giant freckles going from just below her neck all the way down the front of her.

When I asked what the hell happened and if she was O.K. all she could say over and over while sobbing was: "all I wanted was to make you breakfast". I got both of us into the shower to clean up a bit and then she finally was able to explain what happened. She could not go to work for a week afterwards and that eventually caused her to start waiting tables instead as she had big permanent red "freckles" that all together looked something like a bat with a long tail trying to jump out from between her breasts. She had very pale skin, so it was hard to miss.

She always wore clothes at home for the remainder of our relationship after that and always avoided the stove area of the kitchen. After she left, I invested in a big stainless spatter guard, and my first kitchen apron that simply read: "Hot!" in red letters.

☼

There's a million angry citizens looking down their tubes..at me.
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#10 - 2014-12-13 20:56:05 UTC
Doc Fury wrote:
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Doc Fury wrote:
No version for the ladies.. yet.


because we're smart enough to not fry bacon naked.


Apparently not all of you..

CBS (Cool Bacon Story)

Many years ago I had a tryst with a "dancer" for a couple months. She was not too bright and was crazy as a outhouse rat, but it was the closest thing to having a Ferengi wife as I have encountered because she didn't like to wear clothes at home. I made a joke once about her bringing her work home with her, but she didn't really get it.

Anyhoo.. one Saturday morning she decides to cook me breakfast after downing a couple glasses of wine. Things were going pretty good I guess until she dropped-in the second batch of bacon and the pan (and grease) was smokin' hot. She got splashed really good, screamed and dumped the remaining wine from her glass on herself to cool things down. By the time I got to the kitchen (half asleep) it looked to me like she was covered in blood and she was staring at me sobbing with a look of sheer terror. I grabbed a towel, and rushed to assist, but slipped on the grease & wine combo that was on the floor, and as a result that sent both of us crashing into the cabinets and then the floor. As we laid there for a moment I realized it was wine and not blood, and she had some new big pink and red marks like giant freckles going from just below her neck all the way down the front of her.

When I asked what the hell happened and if she was O.K. all she could say over and over while sobbing was: "all I wanted was to make you breakfast". I got both of us into the shower to clean up a bit and then she finally was able to explain what happened. She could not go to work for a week afterwards and that eventually caused her to start waiting tables instead as she had big permanent red "freckles" that all together looked something like a bat with a long tail trying to jump out from between her breasts. She had very pale skin, so it was hard to miss.

She always wore clothes at home for the remainder of our relationship after that and always avoided the stove area of the kitchen. After she left, I invested in a big stainless spatter guard, and my first kitchen apron that simply read: "Hot!" in red letters.


obviously there are always going to be a few 'tards to skew a general statement up. lol

at least she learned something. even pets learn not to go potty on the floor after you rub their faces in it a few times.
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2014-12-13 20:59:01 UTC
Why can't there be intelligent and capable women who like to be naked at home? Or out and about

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Indahmawar Fazmarai
#12 - 2014-12-14 13:15:02 UTC
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
Why can't there be intelligent and capable women who like to be naked at home? Or out and about


There are, but they do apply the 1st rule of nudism.
selket Shihari
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2014-12-14 14:41:48 UTC
i want that bacon coffin they have listed...lol

When life gives you lemons...BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#14 - 2014-12-14 15:08:57 UTC
Indahmawar Fazmarai wrote:
There are, but they do apply the 1st rule of nudism.

Which is?

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Indahmawar Fazmarai
#15 - 2014-12-14 15:23:15 UTC
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
Indahmawar Fazmarai wrote:
There are, but they do apply the 1st rule of nudism.

Which is?


Those who do it you don't want them, and those who you want them don't do it.
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2014-12-14 15:36:07 UTC
Anyone who agrees with that has never tried bacon armor.

Fun fact: wearing clothing harms your skin over the years, making you less attractive without it.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."