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Thera: an introspection.
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Darsena Izuma
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2014-12-10 15:13:57 UTC
I have rarely been truly afraid.

Why should I be? I am, like all of us, functionally immortal. I care little for the back and forth of politics and borders, of systems and planets taken or freed, of corporations rising and falling. It is just the background music of the galaxy. One day is much like another, and with every atrocity comes a wonder and a new joy, and vice versa. To dwell too much on either is to court madness. Even when someone rants and promises death to people I know because they merely share the same nationality as me, or when one corporation declares war against my own, these are not things to be troubled over.

They are things to argue against, certainly. They are things to fight, absolutely.

But they are not things to fear.

---

I have rarely been truly afraid.

When I was a new graduate, I wanted nothing more than to see the stars. I became, briefly, a tourist. I resolved to visit the Eve Gate, to see Jita with my own eyes (how provincial I was at the time!), to walk the Crystal Boulevard.

First, however, I decided to fly to Seyllin, so close to my first assignment at Couster.

I entered the system, set my course for the fabled shattered planet, and warped to its vicinity, beaming at the thoughts of grand adventure.

And then I saw it with my own eyes, not in some vid or dry picture in a textbook. The planet itself, or what remains of it. Think of the scale of such a thing. A planet! An entire world.

Destroyed.

Half a billion lives, snuffed out in an instant! I cannot express the scale of it in words. I cannot put to paper my thoughts and emotions of the moment. Travel there if you have not seen it with your own eyes. I beg of you, see such a thing in person, and then you will understand my feelings.

It is not some astronomical phenomenon. It is not some fact of history.

It is a blasphemy.

And despite the loss of half a billion lives, each one precious and unique, all I could think of was my beloved Hulang. It's mountains and oceans. The waterfall that cascaded near my family's home and that greeted me every morning. The smell of brewing tea. My sisters chattering as we watched the sun rise over the water.

I thought of them burning, shattering, spinning out into space...

I broke down in tears and returned to Couster. I did not visit the Eve Gate. I decided that such pursuits had become meaningless...

Fedo are not what they seem to be.  Welcome to Night Vale.
Darsena Izuma
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2014-12-10 15:14:10 UTC
...The knowledge that the ebb and flow of galactic politics might someday bring hostile warships to threaten the tranquility of my homeworld has never bothered me. If this were ever to happen, certainly I would fight, but who loses sleep over such things?

The knowledge that I will eventually outlive my family, and perhaps even their children, grandchildren, and beyond, never bothered me. It will be sad, but this is price of the transhuman experience. Who loses sleep over such things?

The knowledge that my new corporate family will be (and has been) threatened by rivals or enemies never bothered me, even when we recently fought a war. I stood firm with my brothers and sisters, and performed the duties demanded by membership. But this is a fact of the life I have chosen! Who loses sleep over such things?

I have rarely been truly afraid.

Yet Seyllin terrified me. Worse, it was not an isolated incident. Such disasters happened simultaneously in many systems, though Seyllin was arguably the worst of them. This was no natural stellar evolution, or sadness wrought by the expected passage of time.

This was a violent, unnatural ripping asunder of the laws of physics. This was an assault on all who wish to simply live in peace. This was an insult to everyone who wishes to live in this galaxy.

And we were never given an explanation for it.

---

Last night, I flew into Thera. I cloaked so that I could look out through my cameras without obstruction. I turned, and took in this latest atrocity.

I coasted past not one, but ten shattered worlds. I do not know who lived there, if anyone. I saw the ruined wrecks of stations and ships.

We know who lived there.

I will not say that the Sisters of Eve had anything to do with the destruction of Seyllin. I will not say that they had anything to do with this latest event. Perhaps they are, too, victims of whatever has caused this, caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Perhaps not. Either way, I mourn their deaths.

All I know is, someone has done this terrible thing again.

All that I know is, I am no longer afraid.

I am angry.

Someone has caused this to happen. They did it once. Now, they have done it again.

I think of Hulang. I think of my waterfall.

I am not afraid. I am furious.

We must find out who is behind this. We must find out what they have done, and how. We must bring them to justice, before their next attack hits something other than a research base.

Before they destroy another world that someone calls home.

We must demand answers of our governments, and when they are not forthcoming, we must find them ourselves. We must find out what has caused this, find out who has caused this, and take action.

We must fight back!

---

I am currently setting a course for the New Eden system. I wish to see the Eve Gate with my own eyes. I no longer think such desires are childish or a waste of time. I no longer think it is meaningless.

Once I have seen this ancient wonder and considered it, I shall travel home to Hulang. I have not seen my parents since my graduation. I will share tea with them, and tell them of the sights I have seen among the stars.

Then I shall begin to search, and to learn. I hope you will join me in doing the same. I hope that sooner, rather than later, we discover what it is we seek.

I hope that soon we shall know.

I hope that soon we shall be able to fight back.

I hope that soon we shall bring these culprits to justice.

I hope that soon, we shall no longer need to be afraid.

Fedo are not what they seem to be.  Welcome to Night Vale.
Anslo
Scope Works
#3 - 2014-12-10 15:21:28 UTC
Then I hope you plan on learning how to fight kid, cause you already got the right attitude.

[center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]
James Robinton
Widderslainte LLC
#4 - 2014-12-10 15:52:23 UTC
That's my girl. Give em hell, kid. Too many of us bittervets just don't give a damn anymore. You need backup, you know who to call.

"What do we say to the God of Death?"

"Not today."

~ Game of Thrones, George RR Martin
Aedre Lafisques
Nadire Security Consultants
Federation Peacekeepers
#5 - 2014-12-10 16:20:26 UTC
I think many assume Capsuleers aren't capable of feeling terror, especially given what we opt to give up upon becoming one, and the things we bear witness to every day - but I'd like to express that you were very eloquent about those divisions and the impact the spectre a non-answer - a non-debate as it were, has on us.

Yelling at each other about everything in the cluster seems to me a means of control over the things that bother us, and we feel entitled to it, as immortal and wealthy. When it comes to things like this, like Seyllin and other mysteries, specifics withheld from us, it doesn't surprise me to see some go off the deep end, and others, to grab resolve and purpose.

While I'm not completely sold on a course of action (this is not unusual), I still feel a kinship with your experience, and, no matter SoE's ultimate involvement in this matter, I believe it remains simplistic to condemn efforts for aid within the system. Well spoken.
Shaera Taam
Khanid Prime Free Irregulars
#6 - 2014-12-10 17:50:22 UTC
Very well said, Darsena. Thank you for the words.

I too am searching. With patience and determination, we will have answers.

Thus Spake the Frigate Goddess!
Siddhar Gangari
Masuat'aa Matari
Ushra'Khan
#7 - 2014-12-10 19:06:15 UTC  |  Edited by: Siddhar Gangari
Enlightenment comes when you recognize the value of good and evil and know that both have their parts to play. The universe is always within motion; constantly shifting from sublime to horrifying in the span of a heartbeat. Life is no beginning and death is no end, they are only different states of being. Fear is an animal response to the unknown; a mechanism for self-preservation. Do not fear change! Embrace it! Use it to test yourself and improve your limits - reach increasingly higher plateaus. To not do this is to resign oneself - you may as well be dead.