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IOS Otters Recruiting Wormholers
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TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#1 - 2014-11-06 20:01:29 UTC  |  Edited by: TXG SYNC
The OTRSC Fighting Otters of the Illusion of Solitude alliance are looking for a few more pilots for W-space Anoiki operations. Join us, and come smash your foes like clams on your belly!

We even made a sweet video to like totally motivate you to get your butt in gear and haul a battlecruiser to our hole to blow up people with us: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFxpTEtbx8Q
Tackle Carriers.
Fight in small gangs.
Bomb Wrecks.
Whelp horribly.
Stalk multi-boxers.
Scan sweet chains.
Use advanced venture tactics.
Launch fireworks.
Join OTRSC.

We focus on wormhole PVP. We have frequent corporation and alliance PvP and PvE fleets in all kinds of ships from frigates to capitals, and primarily use PvE to fund PvP activities. If you're new to W-space, we'll show you how to Wormhole. Our alliance offers forums, jabber, Teamspeak, wormhole mapping services, and more. We believe strongly in “Real Life Comes First”, therefore, the Fighting Otters do not have mandatory ops. We tend to play a little bit more than might be totally healthy, though, and appreciate teammates who do the same.

We're currently seeking a few active pilots:
  • ...who usually play between 23:00 and 05:00 EVE time. We're flexible, but I'm posting this to beef up our tiny Western Hemisphere evening timezone roster a bit.
  • ...who understand (or want to learn) that “Local Chat” is not really your friend.
  • ...with decent Astrometrics supporting skills and an enthusiasm for exploration, combat scanning, and stealthily gathering intelligence. Scouts who find PvP get first pick of the PVP loot!
  • ...who look forward to frequent fights against other players.
  • ...who accept that they will lose every ship and possession they bring into W-space, and aren't afraid of this.
  • ...who are positive, enthusiastic, and fun to be around, yet reasonably mature and patient.
  • ...who can get moving having fun on their own and invite others to join them.
  • ...who speak English and are willing to join voice comms and fleet up every time they play.

Wormhole space really isn't for everyone. It's a challenging and dangerous environment requiring skill and perseverance to simply survive. The rewards, however, can be great. The adrenaline keeps the experience exciting, and your skills sharp.

If you're just interested in making mountains of ISK, the Fighting Otters are a terrible choice. We tend to stay kind of poor because we blow most of our ISK on creating pretty space explosions and lossmails.

Here are a few stories created by our little gang. If this sounds like fun to you, let's talk.
And a few fun killboard results. We fight a lot, therefore we lose a lot.


If you have more questions, drop by the “IOS Recruitment” channel today! See you soon!
The Hamilton
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#2 - 2014-11-07 03:19:34 UTC
Haha, I approve of this message. Come join us, the water's fine.
Professor Valox
ArB Llc.
#3 - 2014-11-07 04:53:20 UTC
I need help killing all these things! Come join me! :D
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#4 - 2014-11-08 04:13:38 UTC  |  Edited by: TXG SYNC
Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"

F-bombs on Teamspeak and drunk target callers,
Archons on d-scan and baiting blue-ballers,
Small gang PvP, midnight Jabber pings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Wormholes with misfits and critical masses,
Whelpfleets and lossmails and losing our assets,
Bright space explosions of faction mod blings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

J-space to nullsec with frigate mass limits,
If K162 we'll just guess what's in it,
Losing your pod in your own bubble stings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the chain bites,
And the route stinks,
And the dudes POS up,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then harden the **** up!
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#5 - 2014-11-10 19:16:19 UTC  |  Edited by: TXG SYNC
Today's ditty: sung to the tune of Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball", entitled "Multiboxing" (If you haven't seen the video, well, go watch and LOL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My2FRPA3Gf8 )

We probed the chain our scouts in vain
We jumped, never asking why.
We missed that Hel on d-scan, well,
Another wishful gank denied.

Don't you ever say we just ran away,
We really wanna fight you.
We can't sacrifice to Bob all our lives,
Will a one-on-one do?

We only wanna escalate,
But C6 blobbers couldn't wait,
For we half a dozen overweight
Basement-dwelling neckbeards
Multiboxing...
Yeah, we're multiboxing...

Map puts me right with the fleet, I
Don't see our ships on overview...
My guardian's turning, hull is burning,
We didn't set those dudes un-blue.

Don't you ever say we just ran away,
We're all stuck in high-sec.
We'll be back real soon on another toon,
After we loot our wrecks.

We're for sale at a bargain rate,
Abilities we overstate,
We're offlining armor plate,
While we're mapping our keys
Multiboxing...
Yeah, I just closed the 3a1.
Oh, you just ran to Jita, bud?
Let's hope the next hole's not a dud.
Next time be faster Jita-shopping,
While you're
Multiboxing...

We never meant to start a corp,
We just wanna get the hang of it,
And instead this band of dorks,
Spread out and formed a loosely-knit
Alliance out among the stars,
One step above incompetent,
Guess it's better than incontinent?
Got not idea where our ISK went...

Don't you ever say IOS ran away,
We just rolled ourselves out...
(Again? Seriously? Dang it.)

We only wanna escalate,
Steal your tactics we can emulate,
Bounty Nylon, whelp our Hurricanes,
Basement-dwelling neckbeards
Multiboxing...
Yeah, we're multiboxing...
I'm really bad at multiboxing...
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#6 - 2014-11-12 00:32:58 UTC
Did you know that the fecal matter of an otter is called "spraint"? Come learn other fascinating facts about our corporation's mascot. Apply today!
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#7 - 2014-11-13 13:06:32 UTC
The den of a river otter is called a "Holt" or a "Couch". Come check out the OTRSC otters in the "IOS Recruitment" channel and you, too, can crash on our Couch in W-space!
Ceejay Johnston
Whisper Protocol
#8 - 2014-11-13 16:10:37 UTC
TXG SYNC wrote:
Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"

F-bombs on Teamspeak and drunk target callers,
Archons on d-scan and baiting blue-ballers,
Small gang PvP, midnight Jabber pings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Wormholes with misfits and critical masses,
Whelpfleets and lossmails and losing our assets,
Bright space explosions of faction mod blings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

J-space to nullsec with frigate mass limits,
If K162 we'll just guess what's in it,
Losing your pod in your own bubble stings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the chain bites,
And the route stinks,
And the dudes POS up,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then harden the **** up!


I would join based on your poetic skills.
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#9 - 2014-11-15 06:22:07 UTC  |  Edited by: TXG SYNC
Ceejay Johnston wrote:
I would join based on your poetic skills.


That's totally the idea. Would love to have you!

It beats writing "Bump" every day, doesn't it?

Today's ditty brought to you to the tune of Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass"

Because you know I'm
All about that bait
'Bout that bait, let's snuggle
I'm all about that bait
'Bout that bait, got bubbles
I'm all about that bait
'Bout that bait, not subtle
I'm all about that bait
'Bout that bait

Yeah, it's pretty clear in this here Class Two
That you can fake it, fake it
Like you're supposed to do
'Cuz you got that noob toon that all the pirates chase
And all your tank mods in all the tanky places

Empty your magazine, workin' til Sleepers pop,
I know that stuff ain't real,
Yet I can't help but watch
If you're tanked heavy-duty, let's both Praise Bob
'Cuz every inch of you is callin' me from bottom to the top

Yeah my FC he told me don't estimate EHP,
He says, "If you jump on that bait we can't take the backup fleet!"
You know we might be cross-jumping your wormhole and polarize,
And when my interdictor decloaks my toon often dies.

Because you know I'm all about that bait
'Bout that bait, make rubble
I'm all about that bait
'Bout that bait, let's cuddle
I'm all about that bait
'Bout that bait, in trouble
I'm all about that bait
'Bout that bait
Hey!

I'm calling buddies back
Asking for backup on comms. Ladies! Ack!
I'll Hero Tackle and they know I'm bad
But I'm here to tell you
Every inch of your ship's calling me, from bottom to the top

Yeah my FC he told me don't estimate EHP,
He says, "If you jump on that bait we can't take the backup fleet!"
You know we might be cross-jumping your wormhole and polarize,
And when my interdictor decloaks my toon often dies.

Because you know I'm all about that bait,
'Bout that bait, no local...
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#10 - 2014-11-16 02:27:45 UTC  |  Edited by: TXG SYNC
Recently, my favorite FC went "tramping" for several days. It's apparently this weird thing involving the outdoors, clean air, exercise, being at nature and all that crap. Why do that if you can blow up internet spaceships?

In honor of his return, I composed this ditty to the tune of "My Boyfriend's Back".

He went away, and we hung around
And rolled wormholes every night
And when we couldn't find out some pew
We said some things that weren't very nice.

My FC's back and we're gonna be in trouble
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)
He just joined comms better reship on the double
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)
You been sitting round and not finding pew
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)
So look out now, cause we're boarding ships to lose
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)

Hey, he knows that you ain't tryin'
And killboard shows that you ain't dyin'

He's been gone for such a long time
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)
Now he's back and miners we'll find
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)
You're gonna be losing T3 skillpoints
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)
So knock back some brews and -- where it's legal, like Colorado, Amsterdam, and selected other places -- light up your joint
(Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back)

Hey, he knows that we weren't beaten
Hell, we were barely even fleetin'

Hey-la, day-la, my FC's back!
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#11 - 2014-11-17 17:33:19 UTC
A submission from an alliance-mate for the thread!

Baby please don't blow

Baby, please don’t blow
Baby, please don’t blow
Baby, please don’t blow, downed my final round
You know I love you so baby, please don’t blow

Baby, your shields near gone
And, your armours gone
And, your armours gone on a ‘rizon wall
They had the anchors on; baby please don’t blow

Ain’t gonna log
Ain’t gonna log
Ain’t gonna log I’ll warp away from here
And leave you all alone, baby, please don’t blow

Hey

Baby, please don’t blow
Baby, please don’t blow
Baby, please don’t blow downed my final round
You know I love you so baby, please don’t blow

Ain’t gonna log
Ain’t gonna log
Ain’t gonna log I’ll warp away from here
And leave you all alone, baby, please don’t blow

Know how I feel right now?
My baby leakin’ that structural strain and I’m dyin’

Baby, please don’t blow
Baby, please don’t blow
Baby, please don’t blow downed my final round
You know I love you so baby, please don’t blow

Ain’t gonna log
Ain’t gonna log
Ain’t gonna log I’ll warp away from here
And leave you all alone, baby, please don’t blow

Alright
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#12 - 2014-11-18 17:36:14 UTC
To the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated"

Uh huh, space like this
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
'Cause space like this
Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is

Chill out, what you yellin' for?
Lay back, don't post in Local
And if you could only let it be
You will see
We like just the way you are
When you're yakkin', makin' farts
And you're telling dumb jokes
On the comms, but you become

Somebody else 'round everyone else
You're warping uncloaked like it's just a joke
You're being a tool,
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and drag Russians into system?
They seeded Dreads, now we gotta put up a little
Capital resistance
Space like this
You, you talk and you click and you type
And you copy and paste and you turned it into travesty
You promised me you'd never link photos of nakeds
No, no, no

You post in local in caps
Like you're shouting at the rats
Where you're frustrating your teammates
You see you're making me face-palm
When I read your post
Delete all that opsec, bro
I am regretting inviting you
With all our dudes...

Somebody else 'round everyone else
You don't understand, you're gonna get banned
You're botting in Null
I feel kinda' dull
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and steal ships out of our hangar?
I see the API that tells me you blew the ISK
On Jita scammers.
Eve's like this
You, you trust and you give and you take
And sometimes you get burned and you turn it into interviews
That take longer than a paying job would take it
No, no, no...
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#13 - 2014-11-22 00:15:28 UTC
I'm not clever enough to come up with another one today, but suffice to say that my corp has been inspired by my parody to wanting to use one for holiday wishes to all wormholer-kind.

If you have sufficient dedication and desire that you've set up a POS in w-space and defend it: I salute you.
If you have gotten in a Venture and ninja-mined gas in a wormhole: I salute you.
If you have shipped up to run sites in w-space: I salute you

I might also shoot you.
But I salute you.
TXG SYNC
Dad Jokes R Us
#14 - 2014-11-29 17:21:25 UTC
It's been a few days since I last spoke in this thread. We're in the midst of processing the last round of candidates. We're looking for just a few more to round out our 01:00 to 04:00 roster. If you usually play around that time, send an in-game application and come join us!
Johanas Gutenberg
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#15 - 2014-11-30 04:48:15 UTC
Bump for super quality people.