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In-Game Events and Gatherings

 
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Post a joke in this thread and 1 person will get 100,000,000.00 isk
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Rayo Atra
Guardians of the Volatile Wine
#101 - 2014-08-11 14:32:07 UTC
Soo.. What did the duck say to the exotic dancer??


"...put it on my bill."



:]

Tell you what I do like though: A killer. A dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold-blooded, clean, methodical and thorough.

-Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
Solecist Project
#102 - 2014-08-11 14:49:11 UTC
Masochist begs at the sadist ...

"Hit me oh please hit me!!!



And the sadist, extremely cruel....

"No........"

That ringing in your ears you're experiencing right now is the last gasping breathe of a dying inner ear as it got thoroughly PULVERISED by the point roaring over your head at supersonic speeds. - Tippia
RomeStar
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#103 - 2014-08-11 14:50:47 UTC
SOV

Signatured removed, CCP Phantom
RomeStar
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#104 - 2014-08-11 14:52:33 UTC
SOV

Signatured removed, CCP Phantom
leavemymomalone idiot
State War Academy
Caldari State
#105 - 2014-09-11 15:01:09 UTC
a sub atomic duck says

qwark


lololololololol
Chopper Rollins
hahahlolspycorp
#106 - 2014-09-11 15:11:43 UTC
I tried sniffing coke but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose.


Goggles. Making me look good. Making you look good.
Fylth
Perkone
Caldari State
#107 - 2014-09-11 15:16:51 UTC
So I said to the astronaut, what do they say to you just before you launch? He said blast off. I said I was only asking.
Mr M
Sebiestor Tribe
#108 - 2014-09-11 15:17:11 UTC
An Amarrian, a Caldarian, and a Gallente walked into a bar.
"Bloody idiots" said the Minmatar and ducked under it.

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RoAnnon
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#109 - 2014-09-11 15:25:10 UTC
Why do Engineers get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

So, you're a bounty hunter. No, that ain't it at all. Then what are you? I'm a bounty hunter.

Broadcast4Reps

Eve Vegas 2015 Pub Crawl Group 9

Houston EVE Meet
Don Pera Saissore
#110 - 2014-09-11 16:08:04 UTC
I met this guy in stain, he was selling jokes at 5mil a piece. Judge for your self:

A very posh member of amarrian 'royalty' (aren't they all?) asks
his father when he will get to meet his future wife through an
arranged marriage. A week later the prince returns from visiting
with his future bride and runs excitedly into his fathers private
prayer chapel, his mascara running down his cheeks from tears of
joy.

“My son what is the matter?” asks his father. “Oh daddy, I'm so
happy, I have great news.” The father stands to hug his son. “Tell
me then my son, what great news has god given us this day?” His
son takes a deep breath, “Shes a virgin!!!” he gushes, his thin pale
hands holding his cheeks.

“WHAT?!” yells his father, becoming enraged at hearing this,
"This is an outrage!"
“Oh daddy, why are you angry? I though you'd be happy to hear
this.”

“Son, its simple amarrian tradition, if she isn't good enough for
her family, she isn't good enough for ours.”
Areen Sassel
Dirac Angestun Gesept
#111 - 2014-09-11 17:21:02 UTC
baltec1 wrote:
She looks around for a bit and then calls out "there are 158 sheep". The farmer is staggered, and true to his word he lets her pick out any sheep she wants. Happily she picks out one of the animals and goes to put it in the back of her car when the farmer asks her;
Lass, you wouldn't happen to be a natural blond would you? Shocked, she asks him how he knew!
"That's my sheepdog" He replied.


The way I know that one, it's a bloke in a BMW, and the farmer bets he can tell what line of work he's in. The bloke agrees, and the farmer says, "You're a management consultant."
"How did you know?"
"You came here uninvited, you told me something I already knew, it's costing me money, and you know nothing about my business. Now, give me my dog back."

Here's mine, subtly adopted to context:

A highsec miner dies, and goes to heaven. St Peter meets him at the pearly gates, and says, "We don't get many EVE players in here. You must be exceptionally virtuous, so I'm going to escort you round myself."

So, they go around the choirs, the ambrosia fountains, the harp factories, all the rest of it, until off in the distance the miner spots God's golden throne. "Can we take a look at that?"

"Oh," says St Peter, "it's a long way up, but we can if you insist."

So, the miner slogs up the golden steps - of course, St Peter has wings - and eventually gets to the top, and who does he see sprawling in the throne but James 315. Aghast, he turns to St Peter and says, "Don't tell me James 315 is in charge?"

"Oh, no," says St Peter. "That's God. He just likes to _think_ he's James 315."
Anya Klibor
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#112 - 2014-09-11 17:52:26 UTC
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo!

Leadership is something you learn. Maybe one day, you'll learn that.
Eadwig ofHelmsby
Hedion University
Amarr Empire
#113 - 2014-09-11 19:07:38 UTC
Can I bring my Drake?
onions2
State War Academy
Caldari State
#114 - 2014-09-12 07:55:57 UTC
I was going to post a pizza joke in here... but it's too cheesy...

“To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill”