EVE General Discussion

I got 4 kids, age 4-10 , i can say i am oretty eve dedicated, with csm, fc ing for provi block most evenings.

Ofc rl , work and kids come first. My time is aftehr 20.00 h till 2400 max. Which is solid 4 h. I joined providence as u can instantly get a fleet and some pew pew. I cant sit on titans anymore for nigts and days, or a super till downtime.

In rl i plan, i tend to please the wife with cleaning, making sure dinner is on time on table, doing good dad things, so i am really done when it hits 20.00 . Eve emails and such on ipad, same as skype to arnage battles, talks and other stuff. I pads at work is a nice combo. Work. Play , rl floe on eachother.

It shoudl all be enjoyable, u dont want to be the dad that played that game that doesnt excist anymore and didnt see his kids grow up. So u maximise the joy form time with them, and u ensure u really play. Not station spin or carebear. I want to pew pew when i am online

U shoudl not look at others, but at yourself, and put actions where thougts are

Cu in eve

We just had our first four months ago - my playtime has nosedived, but I still find time to log in and have fun maybe every other day or so, at least just to keep skills going and have quick 1.5 - 2 hr sessions. Here's how I've managed so far:

1. Don't expect things to be like they were, because they won't be.

2. Try to work out some kind of regular schedule - a couple hours a couple times a week where you can just play. The kid has to sleep sometime - I have a lot more responsibility now, I've just cut out a few other things. It's not the epic sessions you're used to, but how much of that time did you spend actually doing fun eve stuff and how much did you spend spinning / trolling local / gabbing on comms? Which brings me to

3. Maximize the time you've got - figure out parent friendly playstyle opportunities - things where you can log in and go, not worry about sudden AFK, and not have to be on other corp members schedules / ctas or anything like that. It may mean finding a new corp. It may mean training new skills, buying new ships, moving to a new part of space, trying things you never thought you'd try. Which is a good thing.

4. Embrace and/both rather than either/or. A couple times I've popped my daughter into a bjorn and had her watch as I did my thing. She was way into it. My wife was not as into it, but when she sees us laughing together and having fun, it is hard to argue. Just remember you may have to sing the itsy bitsy spider at any time, so push to talk is your friend.

5. Most importantly, don't feel bad. Eve will be there when you're ready, and I sincerely hope Eve will be there when my daughter is ready for it. Just keep your training queue moving forward, and remember that you're likely having more fun with your kid than you would be in eve.

--ZC

I've gamed since forever (been gaming before there were PCs--hence, 'forever'). I gamed hardcore until my marriage, since my wife isn't a gamer. Gamed even less when my son was born. Now he's 14 years old. I'd say the hardest years to game were up until my son turned pre-teen. Until that point I wanted to put time with my kid, be there for him rather than glued to a screen. Can't say I was even close to perfect at it, but that was the principle anyway. He's a gamer himself now, which is a double-edged sword of sorts.

Can't answer the more EVE-specific questions(only been with EVE since last year), but the topic is thought provoking in a more general sense too.

@OP

Sometimes im not sure how I play eve. beyond grabbing the time when I can. which means docking at least twice during an anomoly if im going solo. and not making a whole lot of isk. and probably irritating people when I can't get on coms so don't go on ops. which I still manage to do at least twice a week.

Combine that with being back to eve for about a month and a half after being gone for 5 years. its... been fun trying to relearn the game. and I do get a bit agitated at times when people get bent out of shape for what I consider no good reason. but slow and steady im getting back into it all. and take the time when I can.

I think the most important thing to do is know your limits. don't go on excursions when you know there is a very good chance you are going to have to step away with no idea when you are going to come back. try to be reasonable , people without kids don't seem to understand, and some will look at you with disdain. Having "Me time" when the significant other is around helps a lot to throw in an hour or two in the evening.

I guess thats about it.

TLDR:

Take the time when you can to play, be reasonable, don't take any ****. RL first.

Oh and if it's passed bed time, it is perfectly acceptable to 1. lock children in their room 2. let them watch silently while you play till they pass out. If they are older, maybe start setting aside isk to buy yourself another character and teach them to play hehehehe.

Perhaps you could teach yourself and your child to spell and speak better English for some of that time ?

me

This has been an interesting discussion overall. As I was going over the latest posts a question dawned on me: is there a corp made for parents out there? I know we have 'laid back' corps, but there's a specificity to parental 'laid backness.' Just wondering.

Dude, I seriously hope all turned out well for you on this one. Totally hear ya. In fact, I'm glad I wasn't drinking coffee when reading your post as it would have been sprayed across the screen. Funny as hell--but only because I've been there and done similar.

This reminds me of the time I was hauling 200M isk worth of loot to sell - mid warp to the last gate before the hub I got up to get a drink of water, as I was feeling a bit woozy. I ended up passing out and cutting my head open pretty badly - lots of blood.

When I came to, my wife was holding me up in a sitting position - bless her, she kept a cool head and was applying pressure to the wound with a washcloth. She asked "What do we do now?"

I said "Listen to me very carefully. Go to my laptop, right click in space and find Jita 4 moon 4 caldari navi assembly plant..."

Considering the look she gave me, I was lucky I was already covered in blood.

--ZC