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Star Wars Episode VII: May the WTF?!?!?! be with you..

Author
stoicfaux
#21 - 2014-07-22 15:14:31 UTC
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:

Well, here is a space desiccated and atmospheric re-entry charred hand, gripping a lightsaber.

Well, if the planet doesn't have an atmosphere, and everyone on the planet habitually wears their own air supply, and there was a helluva backdraft on Bespin/CloudCity that caused the hand to escape the planet's gravity, and then that handed floated in space for ~30 years until it reached the aforementioned desert planet, then it's plausible.

Personally, I'm still trying to figure out how you can fire photon torpedoes from the neutral zone with the goal of hitting a precise spot on the Klingon homeworld (and why Kirk didn't give the Admiral his best "WTF are you smoking?!?" look.)


Pon Farr Memorial: once every 7 years, all the carebears in high-sec must PvP or they will be temp-banned.

Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#22 - 2014-07-22 16:46:38 UTC
I say for the 20 year anniversary edition of the prequels, we redo them completely, ill pen the script.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - UAE Edition.

Stuff happens. Jar-Jar is run over and killed by Droid Tank. Rest of series never happens because it was all Jar-Jar's fault.


Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?

stoicfaux
#23 - 2014-07-22 17:19:46 UTC  |  Edited by: stoicfaux
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
I say for the 20 year anniversary edition of the prequels, we redo them completely, ill pen the script.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - UAE Edition.

Stuff happens. Jar-Jar is run over and killed by Droid Tank. Rest of series never happens because it was all Jar-Jar's fault.



No, no. The droid army realizes they're being forced to live and die as slaves and rebel. The Republic finds itself continually losing planets to the mass produced droid armies as each conquered world is converted into a giant droid factory. In order to survive against the overwhelming, self-replicating droid forces, the Republic abandons its morals to mass-produce an army of its own; the clones. Combined with the drastic, centralized wartime powers given to Palpatine, this moral decay leads to the rise of the Empire.

Pon Farr Memorial: once every 7 years, all the carebears in high-sec must PvP or they will be temp-banned.

Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#24 - 2014-07-22 17:23:02 UTC
I have the distinct advantage in this thread of not giving a damn about Star Wars. It will literally be impossible for me to me be disappointed. It will simply be boring to me one way or another, in all probability. Though I sort of liked the new Star Trek films. All because of the same type of advantage I'm talking about. Plus new Spock is rather cute.
baltec1
Bat Country
Pandemic Horde
#25 - 2014-07-22 18:06:12 UTC
stoicfaux wrote:
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
I say for the 20 year anniversary edition of the prequels, we redo them completely, ill pen the script.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - UAE Edition.

Stuff happens. Jar-Jar is run over and killed by Droid Tank. Rest of series never happens because it was all Jar-Jar's fault.



No, no. The droid army realizes they're being forced to live and die as slaves and rebel. The Republic finds itself continually losing planets to the mass produced droid armies as each conquered world is converted into a giant droid factory. In order to survive against the overwhelming, self-replicating droid forces, the Republic abandons its morals to mass-produce an army of its own; the clones. Combined with the drastic, centralized wartime powers given to Palpatine, this moral decay leads to the rise of the Empire.


I got you covered
Bagrat Skalski
Koinuun Kotei
#26 - 2014-07-22 22:01:39 UTC
That can't be true with this hand, it's stupid.
Ada Vokan
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#27 - 2014-07-22 22:17:02 UTC
I've been deliberately keeping my expectations low.

Maybe I need to lower them further.
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#28 - 2014-07-22 22:30:13 UTC
Ada Vokan wrote:
I've been deliberately keeping my expectations low.

Maybe I need to lower them further.


Dump your expectations in the Marianas Trench. Then, when James Cameron replaces JJ Abrams as director, he can swoop down and find them for you!

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?

stoicfaux
#29 - 2014-07-22 23:59:56 UTC  |  Edited by: stoicfaux
Maybe it is his mechanical hand. Which would have a better chance of surviving recently re-entry. And would explain why Luke is too embarrassed to show his face in public. Seriously, losing the same hand twice doesn't inspire confidence.

Pon Farr Memorial: once every 7 years, all the carebears in high-sec must PvP or they will be temp-banned.

Debora Tsung
Perkone
Caldari State
#30 - 2014-07-23 06:25:04 UTC
stoicfaux wrote:
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:

Well, here is a space desiccated and atmospheric re-entry charred hand, gripping a lightsaber.

Well, if the planet doesn't have an atmosphere, and everyone on the planet habitually wears their own air supply, and there was a helluva backdraft on Bespin/CloudCity that caused the hand to escape the planet's gravity, and then that handed floated in space for ~30 years until it reached the aforementioned desert planet, then...
it was a really really fast hand... With built in navigational System to find Tatooine (known for it's ability to preserve corpses or parts of corpses in the sand) and disturbingly strong heat shielding to survive reentry almost undamaged... Straight

Stupidity should be a bannable offense.

Fighting back is more fun than not.

Sticky: AFK Cloaking Thread It's not pretty, but it's there.

Debora Tsung
Perkone
Caldari State
#31 - 2014-07-23 06:29:39 UTC
stoicfaux wrote:
No, no. The droid army realizes they're being forced to live and die as slaves and rebel. The Republic finds itself continually losing planets to the mass produced droid armies as each conquered world is converted into a giant droid factory. In order to survive against the overwhelming, self-replicating droid forces, the Republic abandons its morals to mass-produce an army of its own; the clones. Combined with the drastic, centralized wartime powers given to Palpatine, this moral decay leads to the rise of the Empire.
Wait, that... That would actually be a decent plot hook... Straight

Man, why can't we get cool Star Wars movies that are not from the 70's... Cry

Stupidity should be a bannable offense.

Fighting back is more fun than not.

Sticky: AFK Cloaking Thread It's not pretty, but it's there.

Ria Nieyli
Amok.
Goonswarm Federation
#32 - 2014-07-23 10:45:55 UTC
stoicfaux wrote:
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:

Well, here is a space desiccated and atmospheric re-entry charred hand, gripping a lightsaber.

Well, if the planet doesn't have an atmosphere, and everyone on the planet habitually wears their own air supply, and there was a helluva backdraft on Bespin/CloudCity that caused the hand to escape the planet's gravity, and then that handed floated in space for ~30 years until it reached the aforementioned desert planet, then it's plausible.

Personally, I'm still trying to figure out how you can fire photon torpedoes from the neutral zone with the goal of hitting a precise spot on the Klingon homeworld (and why Kirk didn't give the Admiral his best "WTF are you smoking?!?" look.)




I've seen weirder things.

Namely a peacock with a wooden leg.
Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#33 - 2014-07-23 13:03:51 UTC
Debora Tsung wrote:
stoicfaux wrote:
No, no. The droid army realizes they're being forced to live and die as slaves and rebel. The Republic finds itself continually losing planets to the mass produced droid armies as each conquered world is converted into a giant droid factory. In order to survive against the overwhelming, self-replicating droid forces, the Republic abandons its morals to mass-produce an army of its own; the clones. Combined with the drastic, centralized wartime powers given to Palpatine, this moral decay leads to the rise of the Empire.
Wait, that... That would actually be a decent plot hook... Straight

Man, why can't we get cool Star Wars movies that are not from the 70's... Cry



Not to nit-pick, but only the original movie came out in the 70s.

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882

Debora Tsung
Perkone
Caldari State
#34 - 2014-07-23 13:09:06 UTC
Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:
Not to nit-pick, but only the original movie came out in the 70s.
So I am right, right?

Don't tell me You're an Ewok Fan... Shocked

Stupidity should be a bannable offense.

Fighting back is more fun than not.

Sticky: AFK Cloaking Thread It's not pretty, but it's there.

Malaclypse Muscaria
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#35 - 2014-07-23 14:13:30 UTC
Debora Tsung wrote:
Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:
Not to nit-pick, but only the original movie came out in the 70s.
So I am right, right?

Don't tell me You're an Ewok Fan... Shocked


As amazing as the first one was, my favorite Star Wars movie is hands down Empire (1980).
Debora Tsung
Perkone
Caldari State
#36 - 2014-07-23 14:27:17 UTC
Malaclypse Muscaria wrote:
Debora Tsung wrote:
Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:
Not to nit-pick, but only the original movie came out in the 70s.
So I am right, right?

Don't tell me You're an Ewok Fan... Shocked


As amazing as the first one was, my favorite Star Wars movie is hands down Empire (1980).


Ha hummm....

- Luke I AM YOUR MOTHER!

- NYAAAOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Stupidity should be a bannable offense.

Fighting back is more fun than not.

Sticky: AFK Cloaking Thread It's not pretty, but it's there.

Malaclypse Muscaria
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#37 - 2014-07-23 14:52:03 UTC
Debora Tsung wrote:
Malaclypse Muscaria wrote:
Debora Tsung wrote:
Krixtal Icefluxor wrote:
Not to nit-pick, but only the original movie came out in the 70s.
So I am right, right?

Don't tell me You're an Ewok Fan... Shocked


As amazing as the first one was, my favorite Star Wars movie is hands down Empire (1980).


Ha hummm....

- Luke I AM YOUR MOTHER!

- NYAAAOOOOOOOO!!!!!



True story: back when I watched it for the first time on the movie theater, I refused to believe that Vader was actually Luke's father, my take on it being that Vader was just lying to Luke in order to get him to join him in the dark side. I was so stubbornly refusing to believe this was true, that the next day at school I had a fist fight with another kid in my class who claimed Vader was Luke's dad for real Oops Star Wars used to be serious business back then...
Debora Tsung
Perkone
Caldari State
#38 - 2014-07-24 21:23:49 UTC
Malaclypse Muscaria wrote:
True story: back when I watched it for the first time on the movie theater, I refused to believe that Vader was actually Luke's father, my take on it being that Vader was just lying to Luke in order to get him to join him in the dark side. I was so stubbornly refusing to believe this was true, that the next day at school I had a fist fight with another kid in my class who claimed Vader was Luke's dad for real Oops Star Wars used to be serious business back then...
You gotto stand up for what you believe in, true story. Cool

Stupidity should be a bannable offense.

Fighting back is more fun than not.

Sticky: AFK Cloaking Thread It's not pretty, but it's there.

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