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Recruitment: An "I was there" Story

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Inquisitor Tyr
VEN0M0US.
Militant Consortium
#1 - 2014-05-31 09:15:11 UTC
Having played eve for some time, I've found myself in various 'important' serious spaceship administration roles. I felt it was time to share a story. Today I bring you, the good citizens of new eden "Recruitment Channels: An I was there Story"

I had just logged in for the day - and the sun was shinning brightly this weekend morning. A bit groggy from the many, many beers the night before, I slipped into my comfy leather chair at the desk. I was curious to see what events had taken place while I slept, dreaming of universal domination and ragnarok killmails.

Among others, I received a mail form a person who had read a recruitment ad I posted the previous day. "This should be interesting!" I thought, opening the mail still half asleep.
Quote:
you present a great thing but sadly I've sat in your recruitment channel on and off for the past 21 hours and still was unable to get a reply or an answer to my question including the simple one of shields or armour


Below is a log of the events that surely must have taken place leading up to the time when this mail was finally sent to me. It has been pieced together from tidbits of the channel log.

Quote:

Hour 1: I have joined the recruitment channel for a corporation I am intent on joining. I find their advertisement tantalizing. I have no doubt they will soon flood my screen with conversation invites. I am ready.

Hour 2: I have sat quietly in the recruitment channel for two hours now. The administration is playing hard to get but I will win them over in the end. Keeping my head held high!

Hour 4: After some research and debate, I placed a salute in the channel - I am told this is a good way to get "street cred" among these sorts of organizations. I am beginning to find the lack of acknowledgement of my presence rude. But I will have my way eventually.

Hour 5: It has been nearly 5 hours and things have been serne. Though I am concerned my bladder will not hold out much longer. I think this corporation must use armor for its fleets?

Hour 6: I have noticed the other neutral third parties in the room seem to be staring at me. The avatar of one "CrazyDK" is particularly leery. Nonetheless, I have requested information about fleet composition and combat tactics of the corp from the administration in the channel. I am convinced that showing an interest in their inner workings will yield good results.

Hour 7: Nothing yet.

Hour 9: I have canceled my plans for the evening, and being Friday night I will have to wait longer for delivery. But there are more serious things to sort out right now. I am convinced now that this corporation uses shields for its ships.

Hour 14: It has been a long and quiet day. The disrespect shown to me is reaching the boiling point - they will be sorry. I was forced to soil my chair... I had my room mates leave the pizza order outside my room.

Hour 18: I am now almost certain the corporation must use armor tank. Also, there are four steps I have noticed posted in a supposed "message of the day" about recruitment and the process involved - though I have not yet done any of them. My defiance will surely be noted by the administration and rewarded.

Hour 20: I can barely keep my eyes open. My typing has become jittery but the coffee makes me happy. The administration has left the channel - I do not understand these people, or why they would keep me waiting ALL this time. 21 HOURS and no email reply. My will is failing, but I nearly completed step 2 of the channel message which requests I fill an application out - but I am far too important for such things!

Hour 21: I have sent a letter of protest to the administration in multi paragraph essay format. I am sure they will find my feedback and criticism of their customer service quite valuable. Surely they will sign me up shortly herein, as I have requested further correspondence at the end.


For those of you interested, our recruitment channel is PHA-Recruitment. Please note - it may take our "customer service" department more than 21 hours to reply.

Fly Safe Pod Pilots!

o/
flakeys
Doomheim
#2 - 2014-05-31 09:18:38 UTC
Heh , that went in nice with my morning coffee . Nice visualisation of 'the event' there .

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
Serene Repose
#3 - 2014-05-31 14:27:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Serene Repose
What's amazing about this sort of verbosity is it's purely poor sentence structure, vocabulary use and grammar. I mean, if you are going to hold forth multi-syllablic-ally to demonstrate your celerity, at least learn the language you're doing it in!

TL;DR (Obviously a spy.)

We must accommodate the idiocracy.
flakeys
Doomheim
#4 - 2014-05-31 18:09:02 UTC
Serene Repose wrote:
What's amazing about this sort of verbosity is it's purely poor sentence structure, vocabulary use and grammar. I mean, if you are going to hold forth multi-syllablic-ally to demonstrate your celerity, at least learn the language you're doing it in!

TL;DR (Obviously a spy.)



I bet you are native english speaking ... usually those are the ones who complain about ''learning a language'' while only speaking their own native tongue .

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
Komi Toran
Perkone
Caldari State
#5 - 2014-05-31 21:16:47 UTC
flakeys wrote:
I bet you are native english speaking ... usually those are the ones who complain about ''learning a language'' while only speaking their own native tongue .

The complete lack of punctuation, correct or not, tells me the language wouldn't matter.
Ralph King-Griffin
New Eden Tech Support
#6 - 2014-05-31 21:22:08 UTC
Serene Repose wrote:


TL;DR (Obviously a spy.)

Funny spai thoughShocked.

Murderers of Negotiable Motivations

=]|[=
Erufen Rito
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2014-05-31 21:55:06 UTC
Can we share stories here? I want to share a story.

This is as nice as I get. Best quote ever https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=4137165#post4137165
Marsha Mallow
#8 - 2014-05-31 22:11:05 UTC  |  Edited by: Marsha Mallow
Erufen Rito wrote:
Can we share stories here? I want to share a story.

Yes, but make it as entertaining as the OP.

Inquisitor Tyr wrote:
The disrespect shown to me is reaching the boiling point - they will be sorry. I was forced to soil my chair...

Lol

I've also received mails like that from disgruntled recruits (although never seen one sit in channel for 21 HOURS wtf).

Best one was somebody who wanted to know about wormholes (about a month after Apocrypha, when we really didn't have a clue) and when we referred him to guides had a massive tantrum. I think after 30 seconds of caps lock screaming WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME, I'M NOT READING THAT I kicked him from channel.

Oh, and someone once convoed me to do an app and I was hammered and said - really sorry, just got back from pub, flipping skills etc. He called me unprofessional, closed channel and went flouncing off. And said alcohol is abhorent >.>

Ripard Teg > For the morons in the room:

Sweets > U can dd my face any day
Erufen Rito
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2014-05-31 22:26:36 UTC
Well, here it goes. I don't have the logs available, but I remember the important details.
This is, of course, not a disclaimer. It is exactly what I think. I respect everyone, regardless of their beliefs, tastes, sexuality, origins, or tanking preferences, as long as I get the same level of respect.
And here is why.

About 2 years or so ago, I was running a corporation in Hisec, just 2 jumps away from Dodixie.
As such, we got a lot of trolls, awox attempts and vets on alts.
Occasionally, we would find a true noob, and after inviting them to run Lv4 missions with the gang, they would normally be interested in applying.

This particular person was very new to the game, about 14 days old or so. We brought him along anyway, and gave him tips and tricks to not get killed while we ran the missions (back then, NPCs would leave all aggro on one ship).
He came through as eager at first, jumping the acceleration gate before our tanked battleship did, thus getting himself exploded. We replaced the ship, told him what he did wrong, and here is where it all went south.

He said that if he were to join the corporation, he would need a title that reflected his religious superiority over us, because his religion mandated so.
When we told him that we had a neutral stance on religion, and similar affairs and thus such a title would not be possible, he went overboard.
Screaming on TS, condemning us all to hell etc etc etc. This went on for about 15 minutes; all the while we tried to calm him down.

Once he regained his composure, he came back to run more missions.
We explained the fleet chain of command, and advised him to follow orders. Again, "I will not be ordered by non-believers, you can't tell me what to do" and such.

He died a 3rd time, and we kicked him from fleet. He came back on a frigate, and tried to steal our loot, because we "had to reimburse his loss, because we took him to a dangerous place in the first place". We ignored him.
Once he stole the loot, he was promptly pointed and killed, since our DPS ships were PVP fit (no need to tank).

More rage on TS. He was promptly banned.

A few days later, we get a wardec from a 3 man corp. It was him, and two others. When they showed up to "ambush" our frigate fleet, they did so in destroyers so badly fit, we were tempted to just reimburse them for their losses.
We convoed the other 2 guys, and they turned out to be new guys who were picked up by our Priest, and told they would be given mad cash if they managed to kill us.
We recruited them instead, got a few more kills on Mr. Priest, and he then stopped logging into the game.

I don't know if he came back or not, since I clear my watch list every year or so.

This is as nice as I get. Best quote ever https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=4137165#post4137165
ISD Ezwal
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
ISD Alliance
#10 - 2014-05-31 22:34:32 UTC
At least the mail you got was worded in such a way it could be posted on the forum. You should see some of the 'complaint' mails CCL gets...Sad

Marsha Mallow wrote:
He called me unprofessional, closed channel and went flouncing off. And said alcohol is abhorent >.>
Lol Here's one to the unprofessionals, cheers!

ISD Ezwal Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)
Marsha Mallow
#11 - 2014-05-31 22:46:48 UTC
ISD Ezwal wrote:
At least the mail you got was worded in such a way it could be posted on the forum. You should see some of the 'complaint' mails CCL gets...Sad

Get them to unlock likes on closed threads and CCL might get some better feedback on their efforts.

You're doing a fantastic job, the whole team, with massive amounts of humour and patience. Keep it up.

Ripard Teg > For the morons in the room:

Sweets > U can dd my face any day
Graabeerd Khagah
MoonFyre BattleGroup Holdings
#12 - 2014-06-01 01:35:39 UTC
Erufen Rito wrote:
Well, here it goes. I don't have the logs available, but I remember the important details.
This is, of course, not a disclaimer. It is exactly what I think. I respect everyone, regardless of their beliefs, tastes, sexuality, origins, or tanking preferences, as long as I get the same level of respect.
And here is why.

About 2 years or so ago, I was running a corporation in Hisec, just 2 jumps away from Dodixie.
As such, we got a lot of trolls, awox attempts and vets on alts.
Occasionally, we would find a true noob, and after inviting them to run Lv4 missions with the gang, they would normally be interested in applying.

This particular person was very new to the game, about 14 days old or so. We brought him along anyway, and gave him tips and tricks to not get killed while we ran the missions (back then, NPCs would leave all aggro on one ship).
He came through as eager at first, jumping the acceleration gate before our tanked battleship did, thus getting himself exploded. We replaced the ship, told him what he did wrong, and here is where it all went south.

He said that if he were to join the corporation, he would need a title that reflected his religious superiority over us, because his religion mandated so.
When we told him that we had a neutral stance on religion, and similar affairs and thus such a title would not be possible, he went overboard.
Screaming on TS, condemning us all to hell etc etc etc. This went on for about 15 minutes; all the while we tried to calm him down.

Once he regained his composure, he came back to run more missions.
We explained the fleet chain of command, and advised him to follow orders. Again, "I will not be ordered by non-believers, you can't tell me what to do" and such.

He died a 3rd time, and we kicked him from fleet. He came back on a frigate, and tried to steal our loot, because we "had to reimburse his loss, because we took him to a dangerous place in the first place". We ignored him.
Once he stole the loot, he was promptly pointed and killed, since our DPS ships were PVP fit (no need to tank).

More rage on TS. He was promptly banned.

A few days later, we get a wardec from a 3 man corp. It was him, and two others. When they showed up to "ambush" our frigate fleet, they did so in destroyers so badly fit, we were tempted to just reimburse them for their losses.
We convoed the other 2 guys, and they turned out to be new guys who were picked up by our Priest, and told they would be given mad cash if they managed to kill us.
We recruited them instead, got a few more kills on Mr. Priest, and he then stopped logging into the game.

I don't know if he came back or not, since I clear my watch list every year or so.

Qouting you if it's ok, this person would never stand a chance in my corp. because of his demands for a title reflecting his "religion". THAT in and of itself would be a permaban from my corp and demanding a title would also be a permaban as well.

I am glad you took it on yourself and your corp to teach this person a lesson as you did and salute you for it.Big smileBig smileBig smilePiratePiratePirate
NightCrawler 85
Phoibe Enterprises
#13 - 2014-06-01 06:32:24 UTC
Not really a story, but a link to an old thread containing chat logs from the most memorable recruit i have ever come across.

Warning, contains bad language and similar.

Phoibe Enterprises

The Eve Reader -  Audio Recordings of Eve Chronicles
Marsha Mallow
#14 - 2014-06-01 10:46:18 UTC
NightCrawler 85 wrote:
Not really a story, but a link to an old thread containing chat logs from the most memorable recruit i have ever come across.

Warning, contains bad language and similar.

That is pretty awesome. Love the bit where the recruiter started answering back in caps.

New Pilot > TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER NOW P

Last time two guys did that to us in a (former corp) recruitment channel, turned out to be two of the directors on noob alts but they kept it going for a while. They were trying to get people to go fight them in the starter system, begging for ISK, offering to cyber, pretending to be spies with intel. Honestly was hilarious. Then they went and sat in our neighbouring (allies) alliance HQ system and demanded people come out and 1v1 them.

Ripard Teg > For the morons in the room:

Sweets > U can dd my face any day
De'Veldrin
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#15 - 2014-06-01 17:26:29 UTC
NightCrawler 85 wrote:
Not really a story, but a link to an old thread containing chat logs from the most memorable recruit i have ever come across.

Warning, contains bad language and similar.


That is some quality rage right there.

De'Veldrin's Corollary (to Malcanis' Law): Any idea that seeks to limit the ability of a large nullsec bloc to do something in the name of allowing more small groups into sov null will inevitably make it that much harder for small groups to enter sov null.
DeMichael Crimson
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#16 - 2014-06-01 21:25:42 UTC
Graabeerd Khagah wrote:
Erufen Rito wrote:
Well, here it goes. I don't have the logs available, but I remember the important details.
This is, of course, not a disclaimer. It is exactly what I think. I respect everyone, regardless of their beliefs, tastes, sexuality, origins, or tanking preferences, as long as I get the same level of respect.

This particular person was very new to the game, about 14 days old or so. We brought him along anyway, and gave him tips and tricks to not get killed while we ran the missions (back then, NPCs would leave all aggro on one ship).
He came through as eager at first, jumping the acceleration gate before our tanked battleship did, thus getting himself exploded. We replaced the ship, told him what he did wrong, and here is where it all went south.

He said that if he were to join the corporation, he would need a title that reflected his religious superiority over us, because his religion mandated so.

He died a 3rd time, and we kicked him from fleet. He came back on a frigate, and tried to steal our loot, because we "had to reimburse his loss, because we took him to a dangerous place in the first place". We ignored him.
Once he stole the loot, he was promptly pointed and killed, since our DPS ships were PVP fit (no need to tank).

More rage on TS. He was promptly banned.

A few days later, we get a wardec from a 3 man corp. It was him, and two others. When they showed up to "ambush" our frigate fleet, they did so in destroyers so badly fit, we were tempted to just reimburse them for their losses.
We convoed the other 2 guys, and they turned out to be new guys who were picked up by our Priest, and told they would be given mad cash if they managed to kill us.
We recruited them instead, got a few more kills on Mr. Priest, and he then stopped logging into the game.

I don't know if he came back or not, since I clear my watch list every year or so.

Qouting you if it's ok, this person would never stand a chance in my corp. because of his demands for a title reflecting his "religion". THAT in and of itself would be a permaban from my corp and demanding a title would also be a permaban as well.

I am glad you took it on yourself and your corp to teach this person a lesson as you did and salute you for it.Big smileBig smileBig smilePiratePiratePirate

Heh, that story shows they lied about having respect for others beliefs..

All it actually shows is they griefed a new player and succeeded in making him stop playing this game. Good job on that crap.


DMC

'The Plan' | California Eve Players | Proposal - The Endless Battle
James Amril-Kesh
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#17 - 2014-06-01 21:48:32 UTC
Serene Repose wrote:
What's amazing about this sort of verbosity is it's purely poor sentence structure, vocabulary use and grammar.

Don't ***** about people's grammar if yours has glaring errors of its own.

Enjoying the rain today? ;)
Marsha Mallow
#18 - 2014-06-01 21:49:07 UTC
DeMichael Crimson wrote:
Heh, that story shows they lied about having respect for others beliefs..
All it actually shows is they griefed a new player and succeeded in making him stop playing this game. Good job on that crap.
DMC

Sounds more like he tried to grief people by imposing his beliefs on them and then generally acting like a muppet, so they retaliated within acceptable game mechanics. Notice he wardecced them, not the other way round.

Freedom of speech is one thing, but it doesn't entitle anyone to be an obnoxious gobshite without consequence. That's why legislation has been passed around the world to moderate communication. People abuse it, and the internet encourages the trend due to relative anonymity. But EvE does not, which is quite nice in a way. Except for NPC scrubs ofc exploiting.

Ripard Teg > For the morons in the room:

Sweets > U can dd my face any day
Erufen Rito
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2014-06-02 10:17:47 UTC
DeMichael Crimson wrote:

Heh, that story shows they lied about having respect for others beliefs..

All it actually shows is they griefed a new player and succeeded in making him stop playing this game. Good job on that crap.


DMC

Maybe you didn't actually read the story.

His dismissal wasn't because we disagreed with his beliefs. It was because he was demanding special treatment, and insulting us based on our answers. He later came to fight us, and since this is a game in which PVP is allowed, and pulling people from other corps is not exactly a frowned uppon tactic, we used them.

Sue me.

This is as nice as I get. Best quote ever https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=4137165#post4137165