EVE Fiction

Please let me know what you all think of the following story, this is a first draft and will be a whole novel once I'm finished. Read and enjoy

As the giant ships bulk decelerated out of warp the scene that met his eyes was horrific to behold, the hulls of broken and torn apart ships were everywhere. Instinct kicked in as his camera drones whirred around the ship scanning for possible targets. Alarms started going off sensors where showing a fleet of Serpentis battleships dropping out of warp. Alistair was used to this his Kronos battleship was setup precisely to deal with this kind of situation, as his armour hardeners came online he almost felt sorry for the pirates as he activated the ships bastion module.

His crew were highly efficient and had come to show a lot of respect for their captain the god whom walked amongst men. Although protected in a capsule and ordained with immortality thanks to the technology built into said capsule Alistair actually spent a lot of time with the mere mortals who served him.

Alistair visually scanned the approaching fleet locking onto each of the ships as they approached then without a seconds thought and a cold logic opened fire with his 425mm Rail Guns, the explosions as they met with their target lighting up the darkness of space. On the 5th volley the pirate battleship lost its fight for survival as its hull integrity failed explosions rippled through its hull as it tore itself apart, the escape pods making their desperate attempts to reach safety before the ships power core detonated. It was only a matter of minutes before the approaching pirate fleet was reduced to a group drifting wrecks. “Well that was as easy as usual” Alistair said to himself. But there was an unnerving thought process running through his mind why were ships already destroyed when he arrived at his mission location? With that thought he deactivated the ships bastion module which allowed him to align his ship back to the station he was currently residing in. The ship slowly approached optimal then in a flash the ship entered warp.

“Station this is Alistair Biggs requesting permission to dock”

“Alistair please wait”

“Wait I’m in no mood to wait”

“Apologies your hanger wasn’t ready for your arrival, docking request granted please proceed”

Activating the auto docking sequence Alistair prepared for the always unpleasant experience of exiting his capsule, being immortal had it’s downsides like being suspended in goo and connected to a myriad of technology that meant if he were to die his conscious would be transferred to a clone this was actually a pleasant experience compared to exiting the capsule. A thud and his indicated to him the extraction process had begun as the fluid drained restraints held him in place and allowed him to reorient himself to being outside of this cocoon of safety. He was glad none of his crew could see this process as he imagined it to be a visually embarrassing process. Once dressed and fully recovered a call needed to be made,

“Targen what did you make of that mess when we arrived at target?” Targen was his 1st officer and Alistair trusted him with his life.

I liked it also, though I don't think you need to get bogged down with the minutiae of some of the technology. For example you could drop the reference to '425mm' and simply refer to them as 'railguns' and I think it would flow better.

Other than that, keep up the good work!

definitely need to clean up your prose, but as to plot acting, it looks good! write moar :o

As I get more indepth with this novel I think I may start a kickstarter campaign to get the funds together to actually publish this as I don't think there are enough Eve novels.

I will have to work out what kind of rewards to give people and what reward tier levels to setup but I shall keep everyone posted on what I'm doing. I want to have at least half the novel finished before I think of starting a kickstarter!

Have you checked what the copyright situation with CCP is on doing that?

I'm not saying you can't. I honestly haven't got a clue how that would work.

But check first is all.

I like the enthusiastic pace of the story. Keep at it!

I shall drop them a message to find out the Copyright issues etc... Hopefully they don't mind as long as it's a good book and isn't the correct spelling Chimera? For your book?

drop me a pm id be interested in helping with the development of this should you decide to progress to the end and actually go ahead with publishing

A little bit more:

Alistair pondered Vreau’s last statement, he was an honest man in a position of power if he said he knew nothing then that was the case. The only question now was what the hell to do, it then dawned on him what he needed to do.

It was time to do things in an unconventional way this wasn’t going to be easy and could very well cost him his life, his immortality in the process. Not daunted by what lay ahead Alistair knew that the Empires all served a role in the universe without them chaos would ensue. It was time to bring them all together in one united front for the preservation of the known high security space. This was a monumental task and would take all of his skills to achieve, for the Alliances out in the systems with no security couldn’t be allowed to gain enough power to destroy any individual empire.

Targen entered Alistair’s quarters under absolute secrecy if this was going to work he needed someone he could trust with his life.
“Targen, glad you made it hope security didn’t give you any hassle getting here. I think I know what has been going on, the capsuleers of what I refer to as null security space have begun the first tentative steps in a unilateral attempt to destroy empire space. Even worse if I am correct it is going to take the combined efforts of all the empires and a rather large number of capsuleers loyal to the empires to prevent it. This isn’t going to be easy and the loss of life will be significant, I know your beautiful wife and your two amazing children Targen. So I will go out on a limb and say if this endeavour costs our lives it will be worth it to protect the billions of lives in the empires.”

“Sir my life is yours, you’ve always looked out for your crew and we must be some of the longest serving combat crew across New Eden. So of course if what you say is true we would all lay down our lives for the protection of Gallente space, but all the empires are you sure?”

Thanks for your reply Drakarn appreciate it.

I'll drop CCP a message in fact if any CCP staff reading this would like to comment I'd appreciate it.