Out of Pod Experience

Either / or. It takes all kinds to make a world. But prepummeled Blondie for preference.

A quality question that deserves a proper answer!

She was a tasty tasty woman, well.................not covered in welts and screaming like a banshee. But she was certainly noteworthy.

Soft, creamy skin............covered in welts. Natural everything if you get my meaning. Downstairs was nicely shaven............and looked as red and angry as Rob Ford after his crack cocaine was taken away.

I'm sure in real life she's a wonderful person, i guess we just caught her on a bad day.

I just read this out loud in Herbert from Family Guys voice.

There aint gonna be any work getting done today. 2 simultaneous spit-takes just took out the reports we just printed.

That...was...Awesome!

pete's sake somebody needs to put that movie online.

OP, I have copy-pasted your story so that I can later verify that it's not just an urban legend.

That is one of the funniest things I've ever read. All I can think of is George Jetson on his treadmill:

'JANE! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!'

Just wanted to say that the OP has excellent replay value.



Thank you OP, for re reading this has brought me out of my funk this afternoon!

Dang, I was hoping it was a new DIY sex toy disaster being reported.... I'm sure there are plenty of DIY sex toys around, and plenty of disasters happening with them around the clock. But getting people to report the disasters, though....

I got on here yesterday and realized that this thread has popped up again. So in appreciation to UAE and Random McNally's kind comments i decided to call a few colleagues and see if i could get any updates for you all.

I am happy to report that i have the current status of each person in the story.

Paranoid Lloyd: After finding drugs and paraphernalia at the studio (and studying the tape we so kindly provided), the police executed a search warrant of the offenders home and found nearly half a pound of cocaine in his residence. Paranoid Lloyd is currently in the court process with charges for a Class A-1 Felony Possession of more than 8oz or 250g of Cocaine. New York Penal Law 220.16 Also, possession of cocaine with intent to sell or distribute. New York Penal Law 220.21. There are other charges but these are the highlights. Lloyd is now looking at 15 years of prison time. It looks like old Lloyd will be the one starring in the prison pornos now.

Laughing Boy: Mr Giggle pants has quite a criminal history and this is not nearly his first time having a brush with the law. The Police are prosecuting him with Drug Possession, Destruction of Evidence and Reckless Endangerment in the Second Degree. He is looking at serving 7 years. I wonder who is laughing now.

And finally........Blondie: Dearest Blondie received substantial bruising of her ectocervix and transformation zone and blunt force trauma with Tramline bruising to her legs and abdomen with subcutaneous bleeding. Blondie has since, naturally, broke out ALL THE LAWYERS. This girl is going to town on the studio and the owner. The list of grievances is extensive but include: Failing to provide a safe workplace, failing to provide duty of care, physical injury, psychological trauma, you name it. Blondie has since made a full recovery and is now ok physically.

After previewing the text i realised it is censored so...******* = White snorty stuff.

So there you have it boys and girls. That's about as much as i know and will leave it there. Thank you all for the kind comments and i'm glad you enjoyed it.

I had to go back and read this section twice. First pass my brain thought you said "Trampoline Bruising", and I was all like.. Whoa.. whoa... there was a trampoline involved?!?!??! Holy ****! how intricate was this thrust-o-matic.. because ive reluctantly seen some videos (ok..not so reluctantly.. but I had to see what my minions were talking about one day.. and this guy had this thing that was obviously a reciprocating saw with a homemade attachment and..you know what.. nevermind.. not really relevant) But then my scumbrag brain was all.. no.. go back and read that again. So I was a little disappointed that a trampoline wasn't involved afterall.

I would pay good money for a videotape of her testimony in court.. because having to retell the story of being strapped into the thrust-o-matic and the whole ordeal.. if people in that courtroom don't laugh id be surprised, I know the judge will smirk.