Out of Pod Experience

PART 2 of my post:

I am appealing to the community to keep this in mind. If you care about other human beings and do not actually wish to cause very real and very serious harm to another player in real life (and their spouses, kids, co-workers, etc.), then when you suspect that a person is not just spouting off some tears and will just go away, chill, and get over it in a minute, as a healthy player would do, PULL THE PLUG on whatever your encounter with them is. If you continue to keep them there, trapped, and ramp the situation further, then you have left the game and are now commiting VIOLENCE against that person. This isn't funny-mad-dude anymore, this is something entirely different. Do not be a catalyst that participates in making absolute hell in someone's real life. Have some empathy, have some mercy and realize that although each person is responsible for controlling their emotions/reactions, some people cannot do this once a certain point has passed, even though they want to, even though they may be working really, really hard to overcome this problem (which can take literally years and years of exhausting work in many cases).

Do not misunderstand me here. I am not saying there is anything wrong with the meta of being a villian, scamming people, awoxing, doing whatever in-game evil you enjoy. I love this game, and EVE is one of the only places I know where you can role-play your villianous side to your heart's content and be as nasty and evil as you want to be. It is a glorious sandbox, and I freaking love it, however, realize that once it crosses to real life (which throwing a person into an out-of-control rage and then keeping them there and making the situation worse IS now crossing into real life), you need to stop. I don't believe that the majority of players really intend or want to hurt other players in real life, so be aware that you in fact can do tremendous damage in real life by intentionally being that catalyst I mentioned earlier.

Podside was an illustration of the difficulty of getting this message out. The conceptions that people have about mental illness became fairly apparent to me in the episode I was on. I'd like to address a couple of these things next.

When on the podcast, I heard "well, lock the guy up so he gets help" sentimentality quite a bit. Some of it may have been minor trolling by the guys, but I don't think all of it was. Calling authorities and getting police, etc. involved is not, in my mind, a good answer.
First, maybe the person is already getting help. Second, and more importantly, law enforcement is not equipped or properly structured to handle stuff like this in a way that is beneficial to anyone. In fact, getting authorities involved could actually make the situation much worse for the afflicted person and the people around them. I would add to that as well that locking up a person who has the right illness could be absolutely the worst thing you could do to them. I find "call the cops" and "lock them up" to be incredibly callous statements that come from a serious lack of understanding of mental illness.

Mental illness does not mean Jeffery Dahmer, severed heads in the freezer, sitting on a street corner, babbling incomprehesibly, etc. Sometimes, that may be what it looks like, but most of the time what it looks like is a successful, professional architect who, on the outside, appears to be completely healthy and in control, but at home rages at his family, won't sleep, acts out in ways that torture his family and rips it to shreds. But at work, nobody suspects any of this. They might not even believe you if you told them about it. This is sort of a BPD specific description, but what I'm trying to point out is that being mentally ill doesn't normally mean being stark-raving mad all the time. Usually it means trying to hide it, suffering in silence and nobody except the very closest people even are aware there is an issue. Mentally ill people are not the sub-human creatures that seem to be implied by comments like "well, that guy should be locked up, maybe he would get some help that way", or "that's his problem." They are simply people, just like you, who happen to be struggling with a very tough hand that they were dealt from life's card deck.

I heard "EVE is not a place for empathy", I've heard "if you can't handle it, you shouldn't be playing", etc. I've even heard "some people are just sociopaths". I would like to point out that being a sociopath IS being mentally ill. If you are not capable of empathy for another human being in pain, then you in fact are mentally ill yourself.

I am simply calling on the community of players to keep this stuff in mind. I'm all for tear harvesting, go for it, but please stop once it becomes apparent that the situation is out of control for the other person. None of us can know another's breaking point, and I recognize this, but think we can all recognize when the breaking point has been crossed. I'm asking that once you see that the point of breaking has been crossed, please end the encounter. That simple.

On a slightly different note. I love this sandbox. I want it to stay around. The last thing I want to see happen is it get ruined by rules and policing. One day, something may happen that is serious that makes the news and forces CCP to make our sandbox less of a sandbox. I don't think any of us want that, and if you do what I am asking here, that will go a long way towards protecting our sandbox.

((continued in next reply))

KOS
edit: oh and is there a tl;dr?

I read a little of the first , fourth and last paragraph. And I will tell you what I dearly want to tell all those folks that are still talking about this game as if it was some sort of cultural anthropological thought experiment instead of a mere game, no different than checkers. TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER for about a month. EVE will be here when you get back.

I appreciate the time and effort you put into this post. (You'll get the "wall of text" response, but then those people are usually who's being discussed). It should also be noted that (with the current estimates of how many people in the "West" are truly mentally ill in some fashion) frequent will be the situations where the mentally ill are dealing with the mentally ill. (I do have it from competent authority such was the case on that referenced recording. It has been referred to other mental health professionals, by the way.)

One should also consider the mentally ill will likely see EVE as a refuge of sorts where disturbing behavior can go by not unnoticed, but without condemnation. The excuse that "it's only a game" so it "isn't really real" suffices for the desired license. Then, let the chips fall where they may. It's very difficult to detect when someone is talking to a person who is very disturbed, until certain limits are reached then exceeded. By then, it's too late to politely bow out.

Rational people find irrationality to be just that. It takes some time to realize, then a sort of shock of awareness steps in. Suffice to say, in EVE we are NOT being "protected." Realistically, it's impossible for CCP to deal with this aspect of reality through policy. Even the demands that a criteria be spelt out denies the reality of the situation. All anyone can do is assess from the aftermath. Who knows? Are these demands being made by the disturbed?

Enjoy!

Interesting read and +1 for the guts it took to post it. I hope you're prepared for the trolls, as you can see they are already circling. Might want to get into a flame retardant suit too.

I think most people here would understand what you are talking about and drawing attention to with this (if they read it).

Unfortunately there is however also a small minority who will deliberately exploit your mental issues against you.

I appreciate your challenges in life and would like to ask you this: Is a game like Eve appropriate for someone with the mental issues you struggle with? If you have trouble seeing the game as a game, THAT is the problem, not in-game events with other people.

This Erotica1 issue is everyone discussing a symptom rather than a cause. The real cause is people who are having trouble differentiating between in-game assets/characters and real life emotion and experience.

Just go back and put some lines between the paragraphs, bro. Read the first post so far, worth reading I'd say.

And saying that whilst stating you have mental health issues puts everyone else in a really awkward position. What if we aren't all sociopaths? How are we, as a community, supposed to respond to other individuals who appear to be engaged in self harming (i.e. public immoliation on a gaming forum)?

Your OP is fine, and an interesting read, but I'm reporting you anyway for your own sake because your responses suggest you're just going to explode in a horrifying way. And tbh, I really don't see why I should be forced into dealing with someone elses problems.

This is in fact a good point. Three years ago, the answer would be "no", I should not play this game.
I have made massive progress in my ability to watch my own mind, avoid hazards, and short-circuit disasters before they happen.
Most of the time EVE is not a problem.
Because I watch my own mind, I know when I should not be undocking, I know when it promises to be unfun and painful.

This is a fact of life for me. I have to watch my own mental state, and protect myself by controlling what situations I put myself into.
Without that, then no, I would not be playing this game.

As it is now, I actually find the backstabbing, ganking, meanness to be helpful for me. Good practice, so to speak. It only bothers me on bad days, and if I feel incapable of handling it on a particular day, I just don't do it.

Also, if someone is pissing me off to the point I feel in danger, I simply end the encounter. Its a skill that has to be learned for some people.

We are all responsible for our own behavior. I believe that firmly.