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Is it okay for me to tell her it wasn't the best time I've ever had?
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Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2014-01-14 18:39:25 UTC  |  Edited by: Reaver Glitterstim
I had sex with a girl and well to be blunt I wasn't really satisfied. I felt I put a lot of effort into our short time together, and while I didn't expect or need her to do the same, I just feel like her performance wasn't up to par. Now my sex life hasn't exactly been a lush rainforest, my "times" have been few and far between. But would it really be pertinent to say to her that I've had better, even if what I'm referring to is my hand?

edit: Thanks for all the replies guys, though I'm a little taken aback by how many of you treated this like a serious post. It never happened, just to get that out of the way. But I'm used to coming in here with actual problems and getting trolled left and right. I figured if I made up a ridiculous problem, I'd get some funny answers out of you guys. Maybe I have misjudged how common this is?

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Plastic Psycho
Necro-Economics
#2 - 2014-01-14 18:43:49 UTC
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
I had sex with a girl and well to be blunt I wasn't really satisfied. I felt I put a lot of effort into our short time together, and while I didn't expect or need her to do the same, I just feel like her performance wasn't up to par. Now my sex life hasn't exactly been a lush rainforest, my "times" have been few and far between. But would it really be pertinent to say to her that I've had better, even if what I'm referring to is my hand?

Nope. Teach her, instead. Can be much fun, and you get better sex as a reward. Plus she'll probably have a better time, too.
:: Cue regenerative feedback cycle. ::

Of course, after while, one or both of you will likely explode. But hey! That's part of the fun. Blink
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2014-01-14 18:48:16 UTC
I tried to work with her during our short time together, but she seemed oblivious to anything I wanted to do, and she didn't do a lot herself. I don't feel like she really understood what was supposed to happen, and she didn't seem willing to let me lead, either.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Plastic Psycho
Necro-Economics
#4 - 2014-01-14 18:55:41 UTC
Ah.
Then mark it down to experience, and move along. No need to leave bad feelings in your wake. At least, not without greater cause than this.
Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#5 - 2014-01-14 19:05:56 UTC
Dump her and move on, and forget about it. Bad karma always comes back around 10-fold.

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882
Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#6 - 2014-01-14 19:07:37 UTC
What plastic said. Some women, in my experience, are not able to unify with the 'good feelings' and therefore tend to avoid connection as much as possible. There are many different reason this could occur. But please please do not tell her, it would potentially destroy her. Especially if she is already on the edge.

This is not supposed to be funny in any stretch of the imagination.

One of my buddies created a double date of types one of our last night ever in our college town. This girl was nice and cute but in all other elements not one I would typically sleep with. To make the story as short as possible, I did not copulate with her. Apparently she went off the deep end and is living a very sad life afterwards. I did not even say anything. I just refused to take advantage of the girl as it would have been literally a 1 night thing. I was not going to invite her to South Florida for 4 years after one night and had no urge to even try to start a long distance relationship before grad school. Our actions are powerful, even if done with good intentions Sad Words are even more powerful.
Eranicus II
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2014-01-14 19:08:03 UTC
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
I had sex with a girl and well to be blunt I wasn't really satisfied. I felt I put a lot of effort into our short time together, and while I didn't expect or need her to do the same, I just feel like her performance wasn't up to par. Now my sex life hasn't exactly been a lush rainforest, my "times" have been few and far between. But would it really be pertinent to say to her that I've had better, even if what I'm referring to is my hand?


No, dont tell her, she will figure that out as she gets more experience or maybe not.

Any booty time doesnt matter how bad it is, beats hand time any time. So say thanks and move on.

RL booty means different women, some will rock your socks off, others well not so much but you must learn to take it as a life experience and to apreciate the moment.

Consider this, I can guarantee you that some of your flairs didnt think of you being the best they had and some thought you sucked in bed, even if they told you otherwise.

So think about it, how would feel if any of those chick told you those words?

She gave you her body and time apreciate it, thats what men do, crybabies on the other hand.

also teaching sex is not a 1 hour 1 time class, you learn with time but you must be willing to hang around to teach.
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#8 - 2014-01-14 19:54:43 UTC
Sounds to me like you we're simply mating with no real connection or chemistry. Might as well have been insects. Better luck next time, stud. To her, too, because the tone of the story suggests she probably "had better" at some point as well lol.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#9 - 2014-01-14 22:04:01 UTC
No point in saying anything that might be hurtful. That never helps you or the other person. If you don't feel like it anymore, you can just make up diplomatic excuses along the way. She'll get the hint, for sure. Unless she really, really likes you, then she'll just hope against hope. But the way you described it doesn't sound like that.

"Mama says, if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." -Thumper
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#10 - 2014-01-14 22:09:39 UTC
Thanks for all the replies guys, though I'm a little taken aback by how many of you treated this like a serious post. It never happened, just to get that out of the way. But I'm used to coming in here with actual problems and getting trolled left and right. I figured if I made up a ridiculous problem, I'd get some funny answers out of you guys. Maybe I have misjudged how common this is?

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#11 - 2014-01-14 22:23:30 UTC
Grrrrrr sex thread!

I guess no one saw a reason to doubt you. The post didnt smack of th usual trolling flair one is used to. Plus it's oope. We are a tad less trollish generally speaking.
Mizhir
Devara Biotech
#12 - 2014-01-14 23:15:08 UTC
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Grrrrrr sex thread!

I guess no one saw a reason to doubt you. The post didnt smack of th usual trolling flair one is used to. Plus it's oope. We are a tad less trollish generally speaking.


Either we are serious or we are fullout trolling here in oope.

❤️️💛💚💙💜
Onyx Nyx
Trillium Invariant
Honorable Third Party
#13 - 2014-01-15 01:36:05 UTC
Was she at least tattooed on her lower back so she could offer you something to read?

I kill kittens, and puppies and bunnies. I maim toddlers and teens and then more.

  • Richard (http://www.lfgcomic.com/)
Xercodo
Cruor Angelicus
#14 - 2014-01-15 03:35:29 UTC
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Sounds to me like you we're simply mating with no real connection or chemistry. Might as well have been insects. Better luck next time, stud. To her, too, because the tone of the story suggests she probably "had better" at some point as well lol.


Sorry, could NOT resist saying it as "in-sex" in my head...

Oops

The Drake is a Lie
Onyx Nyx
Trillium Invariant
Honorable Third Party
#15 - 2014-01-15 04:02:36 UTC
Xercodo wrote:
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Sounds to me like you we're simply mating with no real connection or chemistry. Might as well have been insects. Better luck next time, stud. To her, too, because the tone of the story suggests she probably "had better" at some point as well lol.


Sorry, could NOT resist saying it as "in-sex" in my head...

Oops


While you have that going in your head, here is the soundtrack.

I kill kittens, and puppies and bunnies. I maim toddlers and teens and then more.

  • Richard (http://www.lfgcomic.com/)
Rain6637
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#16 - 2014-01-15 04:18:20 UTC  |  Edited by: Rain6637
yes it's ok to speak your mind. you don't have to, but you have the option (in this giant open world RPG called life). some like the abusive type, and without it they interpret you as weak or beneath them. some. as for me, I usually just stop calling/talking to them. if i'm not willing to wait around for something to change, why bring it up/be negative

also, thank you for a thread title that made me smile, and an opening line that made me burst into laughter.

posting in a stealth IJHS thread

Post Script: it's hard to beat the hand. it knows you. it knows exactly what you want.

ibtl. awesome

Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
Thanks for all the replies guys, though I'm a little taken aback by how many of you treated this like a serious post. It never happened, just to get that out of the way. But I'm used to coming in here with actual problems and getting trolled left and right. I figured if I made up a ridiculous problem, I'd get some funny answers out of you guys. Maybe I have misjudged how common this is?

oh. pshh. believe it or not, some people have this problem Lol

...Blink

Help, I can't download EVE

President of the Commissar Kate Fanclub

PLEX: A Giffen good? (It's 1B?)
silens vesica
Corsair Cartel
#17 - 2014-01-15 04:48:24 UTC
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
Thanks for all the replies guys, though I'm a little taken aback by how many of you treated this like a serious post. It never happened, just to get that out of the way. But I'm used to coming in here with actual problems and getting trolled left and right. I figured if I made up a ridiculous problem, I'd get some funny answers out of you guys. Maybe I have misjudged how common this is?

Heh. I've had this problem. So it sounded to *me* like it was legit - glad I waited this long to reply. P

Mind you, there probably *is* a girl or two out there who bit her tongue and kept her disappointment to herself, too...

Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But scream it at them in Esperanto, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

Didn't vote? Then you voted for NulBloc
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#18 - 2014-01-15 07:09:14 UTC
Wow. I was aware that a lot of people aren't satisfied with their sex life (pretty much everyone actually, I bet), but I guess I didn't know all about the sort of reasons leading up to these disappointments. Well I'm happy that all of you who have experienced this in your own life have a proactive solution to help avoid it in the future and I hope it works out for you. As for me, I don't really care too much about the quality of the sex. If a woman shares her body openly with me, that's a really sweet thing of her to do, and I'll try my best to make her happy about that.

I was hesitant to talk about it, but I actually do have a sexual fear relevant to this conversation: I've always seen sex portrayed as two lovers joining together in a writhing mass of hands and lips. I assume real sex can't be so different, but I find such an act unattractive and a little frightening. I imagine sex as a slow and glamorous process of discovery for both parties, as each one shows off their body to the other. My idea of sex doesn't happen in the dark or under the covers, but in bright light. Please tell me I'm not alone in this. No troll, I'm pouring my heart out to you guys.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Malaclypse Muscaria
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#19 - 2014-01-15 11:50:55 UTC
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
I was hesitant to talk about it, but I actually do have a sexual fear relevant to this conversation: I've always seen sex portrayed as two lovers joining together in a writhing mass of hands and lips. I assume real sex can't be so different, but I find such an act unattractive and a little frightening. I imagine sex as a slow and glamorous process of discovery for both parties, as each one shows off their body to the other. My idea of sex doesn't happen in the dark or under the covers, but in bright light. Please tell me I'm not alone in this. No troll, I'm pouring my heart out to you guys.



There isn't one single absolute "truth" about how "real" sex should be. Different people have different likes and preferences, and are turned on by different approaches to sex, it's as simple as that. Some people like it slow and gentle, other people like it rough and intense, others like a combination of both, and so on and so forth.

So don't be scared in thinking you are doing it "wrong": you will enjoy sex the way your brain is wired to enjoy it, so just go for it, and try to find a partner that shares a similar to approach to it. The key is compatibility, as in anything else relationship-wise.

Also, you may find that over time, as you get older and more experienced, the way you like your sex may change. Perhaps later you may enjoy experimenting with different things that you may find unappealing now. The important thing is not being afraid, and keeping an open and honest communication with your partner (though as Khergit pointed above, no point in saying something hurtful, be diplomatic and she will get the hint).

Now, that being said... over my life I have found that many women prefer being "manhandled". That is, being treated roughly during sex, even if they enjoy you being slow, mindful and gentle with them both before and after the sexual act itself: being spanked, getting their hair pulled, bitten, etc... They enjoy feeling you acting dominant and beast-like, taking control. But then, I've always preferred submissive women, so I may be strongly biased about this. YMMV.
Sebastor Cane
The Outlet
#20 - 2014-01-15 12:14:49 UTC
Hello OP

My point of view from someone who has had a lot of sex with a lot of people


1. Sex for sex sake is normally terrible

Main point

1. maybe she was nervous. No women ever hit an orgasm when she was not completely relaxed

2. Maybe she was inexperienced and did not know what else to do but lay there. If you want her to be your girlfriend then be gentle and talk about it. Be closer.

3. Perhaps she wont blow you because she does not know what to do.

4. Sex is a two way process and you keep refining it working out what they like and what they dont. you keep at it and your sex life will go through the roof

5. (biggest noob mistake ever) just because it feels good to you does not mean it will feel good to them

6. Never ever talk about your sex life with anyone. Have respect for your partners

7. You said "a short time". Is there a chance that you pushed her into it and she was not ready. This will explain a lot of what you posted.

8. Communication is everything and at the sexual level it will bring you closer.


While we are here

MMF is never good. If you look at each other then its instant boner killer

MFF is an exercise in logistics (if you want to please them both)

MFF women can get jealous of each other (back to logistics)

There is no difference racially between women

Being a white male with a cut glass english accent goes a long way in America
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