Intergalactic Summit

You should subject this superweapon to a battery of time honored Matari tests, such as putting it in your mouth to see if it's food.

Return it to PIE clearly it is what is administered to all their new members. Damaging their brains and diminishing their social skills is key to fitting in to that organization.

Take off, lus3r noob!

Oh, my God, you're right...

I'll do it for 8 billion.

Wait, are you suggesting that the ancient Terrans had a computer virus that could directly interface with humans? If so then to what end was it used? Implant control? Psychological warfare? And who developed it?

Actually if it is memetic in its transmission we'll have too. If we remember then we risk infection. Memetic viruses are notoriously difficult to control.

Pay me 7,999,999,999.99 ISK and i'll properly dispose of this.

There is opportunity here for the Amarr Empire to achieve crushing victory over the wicked Gallente and Minmatar —

1. A crack team of Amarrian commandos must secure the Warcraft virus from Pilot Matellis and take it to an isolated facility for translation into Gallente and Minmatar languages. In order to avoid premature release, the translation facility must have no network access, nothing must ever be allowed to leave it, and the facility must be vaporized (with the translators inside) once the translation is complete. (The translators will be instantly admitted to Paradise, of course.)

2. The Warcraft virus is released onto Federation and Republic networks. Once it spreads, those two empires are crippled, providing an attack window of a few weeks before the virus is mutated into Amarrian languages.

3. The Imperial Navy along with all Heir's navies and local customs fleets launches an alpha-strike against the Federation and Republic, now crippled by the Warcraft virus. Every effort must be made to convince the Caldari State navy and all Megacorporate navies to join in.

4. The warplan must be an ultra-aggressive blitzkreig to achieve victory before the Warcraft virus is mutated into Amarrian languages. No serious attempts should be made to respond to counterattacks, except perhaps against Domain or Amarr Prime itself. Enslavement of populations cannot be afforded at this time — conquered systems should be Doomsdayed or otherwise bombed from orbit with minimal delay to the attack plan (it may be necessary to delay knowledge of this fact from reaching the Caldari, lest it enflame State public opinion against the war during the crucial attack window).

5. All efforts must be made to delay mutation of the Warcraft virus into Amarrian languages. Since bilingual Minmatar living in the Empire are an obvious mutation vector, most of them must be temporarily placed under primitive enslavement methods (Vitoc, collars, whips), even if they be of late generation enslavement. Prayer drone coverage must be increased (along with decibel level). Requirements for public worship attendance made more strict. And so on.

6. The eventual mutation of the Warcraft virus into Amarrian languages is inevitable. The goal is to delay this until after the Pator system has been reduced to nine Shattered Planets. The Theology Council and the Speakers of Truths should launch a massive religious counterattack against the virus (complete with draconian penalties for possession). With its spiritual grounding, Amarr will be in a better position to resist and recover from the Warcraft virus than any other civilization, and having greatly enlarged its territory during the ordeal. A worthy trade.

Am I missing an in-joke here or something?

I'll do it for 7.5 Billion. A true sacrifice on my part I know.