Intergalactic Summit

As i sit here and recount my life in slavery, my hand is drawn to touch the little heart shaped lock on the collar I once wore - must have a collar to be a proper slave, after all! - and I eat my Amarrian Infant Crunch with my glass of Revenege Served Cold on the side, I cannot help but wonder; what to do, to get more Minmatar cred?

I slither into my skin tight latex "clothing" - you see, it has a whole 301 cm^2 of coverage! - and remember the day I killed my holder, his family, his guards, his iguana "Steve", all of the goldfish in his aquarium, his neighbors, his mechanic, his mechanic's girlfriend's niece's poodle "Foo-foo" and all of his houseplants. Ah, to taste free air, to have my revenge! I licked the blood - it was up to my knees, you see - and thought "Revenge!" NO ONE CAN KNOW MY SUFFERING!!!!

I fled to the depths of nullsec - the other Minmatar were mean to me, they persecuted me! All i did was continually wax poetic about how delightful sexual slavery and exploitation was, and play with my jar of severed fingers! I do not deserve such treatment! Angst and woe! Clearly, the *only* way to prove that one is a TRUE member of a collectivist, structured social group is to go against all of its norms, strike out on your own, and condemn everything about them! This proves that the most "Caldari" of Caldari, for instance, are in fact - the GALLENTE!

As I have "Only God Can Judge Me" inked on my back by a tattoo artist named Bob Slaverkiller, right above my Tramp Stamp Voluval, I know, inside, that what I am doing is best for the Minmatar people! I have to blow up that school bus filled with gifted children on their way to a violin camp for the summer, this will show the Amarr! if only I could feel their touch again...

...to be free, what does this mean? Can i deserve this? I must have the firm hand of my master, directing me, my life, controlling all of me. I cant be free, I am far too naughty! I must be punished, master!



Ahem.

Yeah, I dont think that will work.

PS. This is not directly intended as a bash on anyone. This is a jab at some silly notion of "Matariness" and the frankly rather laughable notion that whatever "Matariness" is, that I somehow do not have enough of it. Carry on! And feel free to poke fun at your favorite ridiculous matari stereotype or expectations - even me - and maybe we will make some sort of a contest of this?

I think a Vagabond is an appropos prize, eh?

While listening to doom metal, I bet!

Doom metal is far too upbeat for the impenetrable darkness that lives within my soul.

I listen exclusively to Brutor ghetto'n'bass hip-step.

I'm sure if I shake my fist at you in an appropriately enraged manner, this cred you seek will shower from the skies in a fine mist.

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, MATARIIIIII KNOW NOOOOT MY FEEEEEEEEEEEELS

In all seriousness, why would you care what whoever prompted this say or feel? With the size of the cluster, there'll always be someone who considers or others to be a No True Amarrianman, or however they put it. If you're certain of your own identity, it shouldn't matter more than when I'm told I'm not Civire enough for them.

On the other hand, there seems to be a rather huge amount of Minmatar rather derogatorily portrayed by you, as if they're to be considered less than you and your presented identity. I guess speaking ill of someone's person is okay if they're not named.

Needs sunglasses.

Too long has the cluster been without a healthy dose of sass.

Evanda Char would have been proud.

A compliment the likes of which I could have scarcely expected, and even more scarcely feel I deserve. I just hope that from all the snark and snerk and snickering, that the stupidity of certain kinds of stereotypical expectations will become evident.

All in fun, folks.

Ava, Ava, Ava... You sassy thing you. Consider yourself adored for this. I can hear the teeth grinding and ego's bursting already.