Out of Pod Experience

YOU THERE! Yes you! Have you ever been flying around SPACE and thought to yourself, "Boy howdy I sure do wish I could have someone *insertmeaninglesstaskhere* for me to make this game more interesting while I'm *insertmininghere*" ?

Well if the answer is yes and/or no please continue reading this article! For a limited/permeant time only, Savnire Jacitu (a published guy person) is willing to do SOMETHING for you! I know, this is a shocking turn of event for such an unknown and probable unstable man such as Savnire Jacitu to be willing to degrade himself and others in the name of making a quick amount of ISK. But shove such thoughts from your mind as I assure you this is really real for reals!

By now you are no doubt wondering, "What services will you be offering?!?!! Why do you make me read all this **** I don't care about?!?!" Well I'm getting to that. You impatient prick....

Now on to the Services of SUPER VALUE and WORTH!!

1. A Short Story!

What it is-
You send me a short description or theme that you want the story to be written about (be sure to include how long you want it to be) along with the total cost of isk for the story sent along side. Depending on the length, there may be a turn around period of a few minutes to a day or so. No minimum length required. After I write it up, you get an eve mail of a thrilling tale made up of words!

The Cost-
10,000 isk a word. That may seem like a lot but, it not as much as you think when you add it up! You want a 100 word story about dicks? 10 mil to me and we call it a deal! Do you want me to write you a 50,000 word essay on the various theories of how the universe is composed ranging from fractal model to the max resolution model? 500 million! What a deal on unlocking the secrets to the universe! I will always either meet the limit or go over, for NO extra charge! WOW!

Disclaimer-
If said story is in a anyway disappointing to you or your many cats, you will not receive any isk back and I don't care/lighten up.


2. A Poorly Drawn Picture!

What it is-
With a short description and a few beers, I will forge you a picture that rivals that of a three year old. I once took an art class, and I'm prepared to bring all of the experience to bare on a picture that is most defiantly fridge worthy.

The Cost-
A base cost of 25m, however if you want something complex or time consuming, the price will be adjusted accordingly.

Disclaimer-
Drawings of spiders may come with 7 legs.

3. Decision Maker!

What it is-
Can't decide on what to do? Plagued on whether or not to eat an apple or an entire pizza? Send me what it is you are stuck on, and I will send you back a 100% definite answer that may or may not be part of the original two!

The Cost-
Who can put a price on the piece of mind that comes from making a well thought out and unique decision? I can. 1m isk.

Disclaimer-
I am not responsible for anything. End.

4. Opinion of Anything

What it is-
Need someone else's views on todays current events, or anything else for that matter! Want the hard truth of a stranger on that new shirt? Need to prove some random guy just how wrong/stupid his ideas on reality are? Go ahead! I won't even cry that much.

The Cost-
My opinion once swayed a mugger into no taking my money. Also the gun I carry helped. I shot him. He died a week later. 1m isk.

Disclaimer-
I'm pretty sure I'm crazy, so hold on tight.


I'll add more later, unless this breaks the EULA, then I'm joking. Might be joking either way. I don't know, I'm just bored.

Hmm... I might take you up on the decision making service. I've got a lot of serious dilemmas going on right now. You know, real possible life-changers. I can afford 1mil isk for some help on those.

Yes. I need some more insults for the Hate the Avatar Above You thread. I'm running low on ideas and about to have to start recycling old ones.

This is a prime service worthy of Jita and Amarr local.

or Rens/Hek/Whatever the Minanatar market hub is these days?

They don't like me on that side of the pond. something something kill on sight something something..