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DEVSWARM OP: CCP Should Give Goonswarm Trillions Of Isk Worth of Crap

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Author
Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#1 - 2013-09-26 15:53:11 UTC  |  Edited by: Weaselior
With the official CCP announcement that in the interests of "community engagement" groups of players that CCP decides they like will be given piles of rare or unreleased ships to make a private profit off, I'd like to throw my hat into the ring for goonswarm to be the next in line for massive unregulated handouts to people a random dev decides they like.

Goonswarm has done more for raising EVE's profile and gathering new players into EVE than SOMER or any other CCP partner. It is goonswarm that makes international news when we butcher some worthless alliance that barely puts up a fight, or decide to pay half of empire to kill the other half, magic trillions of isk out of thin air by breaking a headline patch feature, or our many other delightful exploits. And we bring a constant stream of new players into EVE, to fill our ranks. Given the precedent set by the SOMER gifts, no player group deserves a free handout more than Goonswarm. And no player website deserves a handout more than goonfleet.com.

Now, some people might argue that it would be favoritism to give them to us, as we'd just keep them rather than run a for-profit lottery for the ships to convert them to isk like SOMER would. I assure you nothing is farther from the truth. Rather than have some dumb ship I too will ensure that the ships are available to the EVE public, at the fairest price possible (the highest price the market will bear). That means any EVE player will have a fair chance to get the ship rather than having to lose scads of money in a for-profit gambling scheme.

Now, some people might protest that we're only in it for ourselves. And those people certainly have a point: just like a for-profit gambling corporation that maintains its "trust" solely because that keeps the money flowing, we look out for #1. But as we look out for #1, we provide great benefits to the EVE population at large. We spend our vast sums of money creating content and obliterating abscesses on the eve community like highsec miners, and TEST.

Some people might also claim that giving us ships would be blatant favoritism. To that, I can say nothing but that I agree - but since CCP has now decided they're openly showing favoritism by gifting hundreds of billions of isk worth of ships to SOMER, surely EVE's most successful alliance deserves some favoritism too. Some might argue that we should not be creating new unique ships, and that may be a fair point: I will happily accept sabre BPOs and other t2 BPOs as a replacement care package.

CCP has argued that SOMER is a fitting partner because they are "honest", though studiously avoiding actually claiming they've investigated to determine SOMER is honest and also studiously avoiding promising they would do anything if SOMER just walked off with all the ships. Some might argue Goonswarm therefore does not qualify. To that, I have a simple argument: SOMER openly tells you that it will take your isk, tells you how, and then takes your isk. So too does Goonswarm tell you we're going to take your isk, tell you how we're going to take your isk (after all, our public wiki specifically tells you what's going to happen with your security deposit) and then we take your isk. That is just as honest, if not more honest, than SOMER: after all, our odds are public while you have to do a little math to figure out SOMER's.

Do the right thing. Give Goonswarm hundreds of billions of isk. Nay, give us trillions: we are better than SOMER and deserve greater CCP largesse. Thank you for your time, and the sabre bpos we so richly deserve.

Head of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal Pubbie Management and Exploitation Division.

Doc Fury
Furious Enterprises
#2 - 2013-09-26 15:54:51 UTC
Be patient, it's just a matter of time.

Also, don't pat yourself on the back so hard, you'll likely leave a bruise.




There's a million angry citizens looking down their tubes..at me.

Aryth
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#3 - 2013-09-26 15:55:11 UTC
I would like to chime in and say dev flown ships full of officer mods that die to our gatecamps is also acceptable.

Leader of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal.

Creator of Burn Jita

Vile Rat: You're the greatest sociopath that has ever played eve.

Kismeteer
Bat Country
Pandemic Horde
#4 - 2013-09-26 16:01:22 UTC
Complete the cycle. We could be BoB. A couple t2 BPOs and we'd be happy.

I mean, fully sanctioned this time, like the SOMER blink guys.
Promiscuous Female
GBS Logistics and Fives Support
Goonswarm Federation
#5 - 2013-09-26 16:02:20 UTC
I agree wholeheartedly

the directorate of GBS LOGISTICS AND FIVES SUPPORT [MY 5S] stands in staunch solidarity with this plan or service
Fix Lag
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2013-09-26 16:02:59 UTC
"It's not wrong if we publish a devblog about it!"

CCP mostly sucks at their job, but Veritas is a pretty cool dude.

Varius Xeral
Doomheim
#7 - 2013-09-26 16:08:26 UTC
It's funny because it's true.

Official Representative of The Nullsec Zealot Cabal

Akrasjel Lanate
Lanate Industries
#8 - 2013-09-26 16:08:58 UTC
INB4 Lock Roll

CEO of Lanate Industries

Citizen of Solitude

Bronco Platz
Intercosmic Fruit Company
#9 - 2013-09-26 16:09:35 UTC
Kismeteer wrote:
Complete the cycle. We could be BoB. A couple t2 BPOs and we'd be happy.

I mean, fully sanctioned this time, like the SOMER blink guys.



T20 is the only difference nowadays between CFC and BoB...

This signature is under NDA. Sorry.

MeestaPenni
Mercantile and Stuff
#10 - 2013-09-26 16:09:40 UTC  |  Edited by: MeestaPenni
Can I have my own solar system please? With planets and asteroids loaded with the most rare of minerals and materials? And officer spawns dropping loot from frigates?

I am not Prencleeve Grothsmore.

Klyith
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#11 - 2013-09-26 16:10:58 UTC  |  Edited by: Klyith
And in case anyone has reservations over who in Goonswarm would be trustworthy enough: Solo Drakban

*Runs a fansite that supports thousands of players
*An integral part of Eve's longest-running Secret Santa program
*Trusted every year with up to $10,000 in real money donations, so he won't be tempted by a piddling trillion isk worth of ships
*Has excellent taste in fine Scotch
Lee Saisima
Doomheim
#12 - 2013-09-26 16:11:25 UTC
Blink has a business plan and Goonswarm doesn't. Goons are small-fry nowadays anyway.
Doris Dents
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2013-09-26 16:12:52 UTC
Lee Saisima wrote:
Blink has a business plan and Goonswarm doesn't. Goons are small-fry nowadays anyway.

We won't need a business plan when CCP hands us trillions of free stuff just for being that awesome.
Thomas Hurt
Future Ventures
#14 - 2013-09-26 16:14:04 UTC
NOT bumping
Weaselior
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#15 - 2013-09-26 16:14:57 UTC
Lee Saisima wrote:
Blink has a business plan and Goonswarm doesn't. Goons are small-fry nowadays anyway.

I laid out an excellent business plan: we will take CCP's gifts, and sell them to the public, and pocket the proceeds.

What more would we need?

Head of the Goonswarm Economic Warfare Cabal Pubbie Management and Exploitation Division.

MeLoveVeldLongTime
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2013-09-26 16:16:41 UTC
Yes i would like Free Veld too pls ccp pls
Varius Xeral
Doomheim
#17 - 2013-09-26 16:17:05 UTC
Lee Saisima wrote:
Blink has a business plan and Goonswarm doesn't. Goons are small-fry nowadays anyway.


You're suggesting an institutional/organizational pissing contest between goonswarm and somer? You're going to be disappointed at the outcome.

Goonswarm puts some medium-sized businesses to shame.

Official Representative of The Nullsec Zealot Cabal

ElQuirko
Protus Correction Facility Inc.
#18 - 2013-09-26 16:17:32 UTC
OP is captain of my heart from now on.

Dodixie > Hek

HVAC Repairman
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#19 - 2013-09-26 16:18:25 UTC
give us the ships, we need them ccp
Kallaystra
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#20 - 2013-09-26 16:18:59 UTC
No one knows how better to redistribute wealth than goonfleetdotcom's great space-communist overlords.
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