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Capsuleer rampages through fashion store

Author
Muck Raker
Gutter Press
#1 - 2013-09-15 17:09:27 UTC
Strange goings on have been reported to Gutter Press, about an alleged rampage by a capsuleer through a fashion store on a Gallente station in Amarr space.

A security guard at the store noticed an intruder alarm, and went to investigate. Upon reaching the area, the guard noticed several of the highly lifelike mannequins had been damaged.

"The mannequins had been slashed with something, a bladed weapon of some sort", said Eloise LeCroix, manager of the store at the Chemal Tech factory in Lower Debyl. "Our guard then confronted the intruder, an Amarr capsuleer, who appeared to be some form of religious person, that said they were on a holy mission against the unrighteous creatures of the night. They then ran off before our guard could apprehend them."

A neighbouring drone warehouse, storing several humanoid drones, was also broken into in what station police believe to be a related incident.

The station police chief had this to say: "This is why we don't like capsuleers roaming around unescorted. They're bad enough, but religious ones? that's double crazy, if you ask me"

Speculation is high amongst station residents as to what these alleged "creatures of the night" were.

"I think they meant exotic dancers", said one man.
"night creatures, like, umm, vampires? aren't they like, myths?", said one exotic dancer.
"Mother always said I was taking a risk, living in Amarr space, but hey, you have to go where Chemal Tech says, right?", said another man.

An Amarr Ministry of Internal Order spokesman had this to say:
"We do not condone theological vigilanteism. The proper authorities will take care of things in their own time."

Gutter Press, bringing you the stories you didn't know about.

Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!

Eran Mintor
Metropolis Commercial Consortium
#2 - 2013-09-15 17:11:01 UTC
Now this is more like Gutter Press...

-Eran
Laria Raven
The Scope
#3 - 2013-09-16 10:56:40 UTC  |  Edited by: Laria Raven
...a clothing store?

This is an unconscionable crime. If there is any assistance we can offer in exterminating the perpetrator then Stillwater will be there in an instant.

This kind of thing cannot be tolerated!

Fallen from grace. And as night comes, may flights of Angels visit your sleep... shoot your ships and steal all of your stuff.

Denak Calamari
Incorruptibles
#4 - 2013-09-16 11:57:49 UTC
The space vampires are coming!

EVERYONE HIDE YOUR KIDS!
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#5 - 2013-09-16 13:25:11 UTC
Who will stand better with God on the Day of Wrath? He who pollutes Holy Amarrian Space with mannequins modelling wicked Gallentean clothing that reveals parts God intended to be hidden? Or he who takes up arms against said abominations and casts them into the Pit?

Let the Gallentean workers who bring such sinful things into Holy Amarrian Space be made to wear the collar and feel the lash and be stuffed with the Vitoc; let the vile mannequins and automatons be fired into the nearest Sun; if the MIO deem that for the sake of Order, the heroic pilot who first took up arms against the abominations must be reprimanded in public, then let the Theology Council shower him with praise and medals and blessings in private.

Amen. Amarr Victor.
iyammarrok
Drunken Beaver Mining
Gnawthority
#6 - 2013-09-16 14:01:53 UTC
Nauplius, you aren't secretly part Achuran, are you?

Not indicative of corporate policy unless otherwise stated.

Makkal Hanaya
Revenent Defence Corperation
#7 - 2013-09-16 15:53:45 UTC
Who hasn't wanted to destroy a manikin? They're so creepy, especially the ones that look like faceless, emaciated humans.

Still, it's important to control ourselves and not run amuck in the local clothing boutique.

Render unto Khanid the things which are Khanid's; and unto God the things that are God's.

Constantin Baracca
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#8 - 2013-09-16 15:59:53 UTC
I actually bought the slickest suit I've ever owned from a fashionista in Gallente space. I wear it whenever I'm there. That kind of sex appeal might be so strong it should be illegal.

"What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"

-Matthew 16:26

Makoto Priano
Kirkinen-Arataka Transhuman Zenith Consulting Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#9 - 2013-09-16 16:20:18 UTC
I started in here thinking that this would be about the terribly limited selection of DED-approved clothing for capsuleer profile shots, came away disappointed.

Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries: exploring the edge of the known, advancing the state of the art. Would you like to know more?

Kaizoe Ocshtau
Hellish Inc
Hellish Incorporated
#10 - 2013-09-17 19:03:50 UTC
Nauplius wrote:
[...]wicked Gallentean clothing that reveals parts God intended to be hidden?

I am curious to know just who got the idea to sell those items in Amarr space... But we do have some more suitable clothes for Amarr.

Makoto, I was hoping for the same thing, but I think that they would have said it was a NeX store if such had been the case.
Katrina Oniseki
Oniseki-Raata Internal Watch
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#11 - 2013-09-17 19:13:17 UTC
Constructed Acolyte recently stated she could not find any "Creatures of the Night" .... I wonder if this was her?

Katrina Oniseki

Kaizoe Ocshtau
Hellish Inc
Hellish Incorporated
#12 - 2013-09-17 19:42:47 UTC
Muck Raker wrote:
An Amarr Ministry of Internal Order spokesman had this to say:
"We do not condone theological vigilantism. The proper authorities will take care of things in their own time."

So... are they just not talking about it, or is that a way to confirm that there are vampires that they are fighting?
And on a sidenote; there is a strawman in visible range of me, but I just can't grasp him!
Bai'xao Meiyi
#13 - 2013-09-23 18:52:55 UTC
I didn't do it.
Lasairiona Raske
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#14 - 2013-09-24 10:09:04 UTC
Down with this sort of thing?

Are you a devil or an angel

Sent here from heaven or from hell?

Sweet temptress, I'm wrapped in your tangles

Can't find my way out of your spell

Ava Starfire
Khushakor Clan
#15 - 2013-09-24 11:30:05 UTC
Up with this sort of thing.

"There is no strength in numbers; have no such misconception." -Jayka Vofur, "Warfare in the North"

Constantin Baracca
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#16 - 2013-09-24 13:08:47 UTC
Ava Starfire wrote:
Up with this sort of thing.


I thought every woman was crazy about a sharp dressed man.

"What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"

-Matthew 16:26

Erik Kaassan
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#17 - 2013-09-24 14:46:27 UTC
Constantin Baracca wrote:
Ava Starfire wrote:
Up with this sort of thing.


I thought every woman was crazy about a sharp dressed man.

That's what I hear. Some old Terran saying is it?
Shalinea Vyvorant
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#18 - 2013-09-26 18:08:59 UTC
Oh my Goodness!

I hope no shoes were damaged in this unfortunate incident!

Shali
Sorjat
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#19 - 2013-09-26 18:16:24 UTC
Mannequin slashing should be a CONCORD punishable offense and dealt with appropriately.

Insanity is not hubris, not pride; it is inflation of the ego to its ultimate - confusion between him who worships and that which is worshipped. Man has not eaten God; God has eaten man.

-- PKD

Retro Dallas
Doomheim
#20 - 2013-09-30 00:25:00 UTC
Here I had a plan to get a sex drone and dress it nicely but now I can't do that 'cause someone had a bad time in a cleansing pit.
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