Out of Pod Experience

John Cleese has it about right:

"The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "I...rritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

Very funny... I like that old bugger.

Would be interesting to see what he has to say about Denmark and Sweden. The two countries that just love to hate each other. ;)

Doh, when I started reading about Spanish submarines, my heart accelerated...

...but no, it was not a reference to the overweight issue with the S-80 prototype.

Or, how a submarine with a buoyancy margin of 300 tons, has got a dry overweigt of 75 to 100 tons...

Hehe! Just to cheer you up bit then
A Norwegian friend described Denmark as the scrapings left over from making Norway & Sweden
(i.e. The gravel banks left after the Ice Age retreated)

While a Swedish friend described the Danes as the only Scandinavians who have to learn English as they cannot understand each other speak
(i.e. In most Scandinavian languages all the meaning & context is in the last few letters of the words, the Danes clip the end of their words.
The result in English would be a bit like this 'Hell hu ar yo toda ' or 'Hello how are you today'

Thats going to be one hell of an epitaph.

John Cleese is pretty tall.

Aye, but who did write that?

And that's my dose of daily laughter. Thanks.

I work for the military and passed it around the break room.

Alot of laugher over lunch.