Alliance & Corporation Recruitment Center

So maybe you've heard of this PVP thing before, but never gave it much of a try. You've bolted your first gun on your frigate, but don't really know which end to point at the enemy. You completely suck at this activity called PVP, but gosh darn it, you're willing to give it a try, to put yourself between your enemy and your friend and take a bullet to the brain, because hey... your clones are cheap and that's what a good meat shield does!

Welcome to Noob Mercs, where our ticker PHAIL isn't just a clever name, it's a way of life!

We have been in operation since 2008, and have a long storied history. We've had an entire fleet annihilated by a Goonswarm Titan and used swarms of frigates to take down targets worth more than our entire fleets.

For every enemy we've ever killed, we've lost 2 ships doing it, but there was a time when it took 5 or 6 deaths to get a kill, so we're getting better, and THAT, my friends, is the point. We are the Noob division of the Monkeys with Guns. Alliance. We're expected to be meat shields and tacklers.

As a new member, the first thing you will learn is that your pod and your ship are tools to be used, they are expendable. We will rip the fear of losing your ship and pod from you, and turn you into a killing machine. In this, you will find the freedom to engage your enemy no matter the cost or chances, and it is THEY who will fear you.

Once you learn these basic lessons, and start to gain skill and confidence in PVP, your time as a Noob Merc will be drawing to a close. We have 7 other corporations in our alliance that will be watching you, waiting for the day you are ready to move up and join the ranks of our elite.

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We Are:

• A lowsec based PVP corporation in a Gallente FW Alliance. FW will give you the opportunity to make excellent money while you look for pew pew.
• NBSI (if it's not blue, you shoot it)
• New Player friendly.
• Pirates of opportunity. Piracy is permitted, but it is not required.

We are not:

• Industrialists
• Miners
• People who do anything that doesn't involve shooting stuff.

We are looking for:

• New players ready to PVP.
• Carebears seeking to reform themselves in the way of pew pew.

We Offer:

• Incredible PVP Opportunities, with several fleets up daily.
• TS3 Voice Comms
• An alliance full of veteran players who may help you learn the art of pew pew if you're not a complete tool.

To Join, you will need:

• Only need the most basic combat skills.
• We don't bother with API checks, and will just assume you are a spy until you prove otherwise.
• At least neutral Gallente Federation faction standings to join. Every once in a while we have to kick people who drag our standings down. We won't check this when you join, but after 6 days your standings come into play and you may find yourself booted if you drag us down too far.
• To move to our lowsec home system. You are no good to us or yourself if you try to base out of highsec, or too far from our home. We are based in Nennamaila.

For more info, join our alliance's Public Channel, "Banana Public" Several of your potential new aliance mates are in there right now ready to answer questions and get you signed up.

You can fly whatever race's ships you like. The alliance keeps a near limitless supply of cheap fully fit Derptrons and Derp Kestrels on hand, but you're welcome to bring your own derp ships.

You made me re-read the OP to make sure I remembered to put that in there. Must have been too excited to read the rest after you got to the part where we turn you into a killing machine.

It's ok though, I understand. We do have a few blues because of FW.

This one time... at gate camp...
There are a lot of good ways to finish that meme, but to find out you'll have to come fly with us.

Our frigates are so numerous they blot out stars giving our enemies the opportunity to fight in the shade.

What TZ do you guys work off? I'm GMT and while I'm all for dying gloriously in a ball of radioactive destruction there's no way I'm staying up till the wee small hours to do it, I need my beauty sleep (plus I have a job and a family so....)

For 2 months running now we've actually finished out the month with a positive kill/death ratio... which is weird for us. This month has started off stellar as well. Still got noobs making noob mistakes, but people seem to be learning fast. It's kind of like watching Darwin at work.

Want to see if you have what it takes to learn PVP?

Throwing ships into the fray is fun. Throwing ships into the fray while listening to a FC is fun and effective!

We almost have more newbros than we know what to do with right now, but we still have plenty of room for more.

Soon, our frigates will be so numerous, they will blot out the sun! This is good, because our enemies can't take all the heat and would prefer fighting in the shade.

If you think about it, the atron is kind of like an origami swan.... only more useful.