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Quafe targeted in Soft Drink Conspiracy!
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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
#1 - 2013-06-23 20:07:55 UTC
New Eden's premier soft drink, Quafe™, a product of Quafe company, has been targeted by a vicious slander campaign by elements opposed to Quafe's dominance of the cool, refreshing beverage market.

A Quafe activist, speaking to Gutter Press, revealed that Quafe has been viciously denigrated by capsuleers, including comments such as "Quafe? it is the Deceiver's urine!", from an Amarrian pilot.

The conspiracy extends across New Eden, with some surprising and disturbing members. It would be expected to find Starsi proponents as part of this conspiracy, and indeed, there are many Starsi drinkers who have made derogatory comments about Quafe™, however, none other than Sansha True Slaves and True Citzens have also spoken out against Quafe!

Sansha's Nation is of course, notorious for their preference for their own-manufactured soft drink, "Phanta", a suspicious soft drink banned in many places for it's alleged nanite content.

This Caldari-Nation axis is rumoured to be behind the wave of anti-Quafe sentiment that can be observed in numerous capsuleer communications channels, not least of which is renowned diplomatic discussions channel: "The Summit".

It is clear, that these enemies of Freedom, are also enemies of Quafe, and are behind the rumours of "Quafe Unleashed" that is purported to be a Quafe black ops soft drink designed to subvert New Eden's youth.

A Quafe public relations official had this to say: "Quafe's cool, refreshing taste will revitalise you."

Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
Makkal Hanaya
Revenent Defence Corperation
#2 - 2013-06-23 20:36:44 UTC
Does Nation hold nothing sacred?

Render unto Khanid the things which are Khanid's; and unto God the things that are God's.
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#3 - 2013-06-23 20:52:45 UTC
How awful! Nation have gone too far this time! They like, have to be like, taught a lesson or something! Like maybe like, I don't know, a curfew would work maybe?

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!
Brandi Wiseman
Den Sorte Loge
#4 - 2013-06-23 20:55:06 UTC
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg wrote:
How awful! Nation have gone too far this time! They like, have to be like, taught a lesson or something! Like maybe like, I don't know, a curfew would work maybe?


I suggest you go and have a strong word with them! Take plenty of Quafe and don't forget that product placement is key to a successful business venture!

Fly Caldari!
Denak Calamari
Incorruptibles
#5 - 2013-06-23 21:58:36 UTC
Brandi Wiseman wrote:
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg wrote:
How awful! Nation have gone too far this time! They like, have to be like, taught a lesson or something! Like maybe like, I don't know, a curfew would work maybe?


I suggest you go and have a strong word with them! Take plenty of Quafe and don't forget that product placement is key to a successful business venture!


I'm sure that with her wits and, well endowed body she wouldn't even need Quafe to convince Sansha how they are being bad.

On the other hand, why would Sansha work against Quafe? Just have Quafe buy the Phanta brand, merge it with their own and soon enough the entire cluster will be bowing down to Mr. Kuvakei, also giving Quafe lots of profit.
Derek Quaid
Doomheim
#6 - 2013-06-23 23:52:00 UTC
Denak Calamari wrote:

On the other hand, why would Sansha work against Quafe? Just have Quafe buy the Phanta brand, merge it with their own and soon enough the entire cluster will be bowing down to Mr. Kuvakei, also giving Quafe lots of profit.

People voluntarily drink Quafe. That isn't Sansha's style.

CEO, Discreet Bounties In-game Channel: Discreet Bounties
Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
#7 - 2013-06-23 23:54:15 UTC
Derek Quaid wrote:
Denak Calamari wrote:

On the other hand, why would Sansha work against Quafe? Just have Quafe buy the Phanta brand, merge it with their own and soon enough the entire cluster will be bowing down to Mr. Kuvakei, also giving Quafe lots of profit.

People voluntarily drink Quafe. That isn't Sansha's style.



Having tasted it once, I have to call that a culinary paradox.
  • Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim

Angels are never far...

Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc
Frawst Caldun
Lakshmi Independent Ventures
#8 - 2013-06-24 00:10:15 UTC
The gutter press seems to be just that - guttered. This report holds basically no substantial information and completely glosses over all the details of the conspiracy itself. This looks more like the Gutter Presses attempt at getting the Quafe name into more capsuleer minds than anything. Something tells me Ms. Quafegirl has something to do with this.

Advise to ignore this post and move on, just some modern-day propaganda.

Caldun ~

No end shall be too severe an end to meet.
Erica Dusette
Division 13
#9 - 2013-06-24 00:59:58 UTC  |  Edited by: Erica Dusette
Stop the press!! Someone slandered a soft drink brand. Allegedly.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a regular Quafe ultra drinker myself, but I gotta agree with young Miss Caldun, this is hardly news. All across known space right now large organizations are slandering one another or putting together real-conspiracies. I even bet there's no evidence of Quafe sales dropping to support this "news". Just a low-grade tabloid rumour designed to bring more focus on Quafe, or more likely it's sale team members...

The noctis we ganked this morning was more exciting, and probably more controversial too.

Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!

Part-Time Wormhole Pirate ツ Full-Time Supermodel

▷ worмнole dιary + cнaracтer вιoѕ ▷ вσss
Frawst Caldun
Lakshmi Independent Ventures
#10 - 2013-06-24 01:06:42 UTC
Erica Dusette wrote:


The noctis we ganked this morning was more exciting, and probably more controversial too.


That is all.

Caldun ~

No end shall be too severe an end to meet.
Erica Dusette
Division 13
#11 - 2013-06-24 01:20:51 UTC
Well I'm happy to do an interview on behalf of my pilots if Gutter Press is that hard up for stories. Behold! The thrilling tale of another salvager's demise in deep space!

Eyewitness account: "Yeah, like I was running PI in this C2, noticed a blinding white flash out near this anom, you know, so summoned up the courage to take a look. Here was this wreck with extra-melted nano ribbons strewn everywhere, someone cursing in the local commnet and a pair of cov-ops pilots rolling around through the debries. Took some pics to upload to the galnet and bugged out."

Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!

Part-Time Wormhole Pirate ツ Full-Time Supermodel

▷ worмнole dιary + cнaracтer вιoѕ ▷ вσss
Halete
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2013-06-25 07:43:22 UTC
I'm dismayed to learn that the State is sleeping in Kuvakei's bed, and over something as silly as seeking soft drink market dominance.

One must wonder if TS-F will drop the ruse now that the game is afoot.

"To know the true path, but yet, to never follow it. That is possibly the gravest sin" - The Scriptures, Book of Missions 13:21
Kalanaja
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2013-06-26 01:33:41 UTC
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg wrote:
How awful! Nation have gone too far this time! They like, have to be like, taught a lesson or something! Like maybe like, I don't know, a curfew would work maybe?



Quafe obviously did not hire you for having a brain pan that functions. That much is really, really certain. So what is it you do exactly for them except as a pin up piece for tons of lonely Quafe drinkers that sit around and play games all day? You know the ones I mean. That pasty, sick looking baseliners that who spend most of their time in simulations sometimes forgetting to eat or drink.
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#14 - 2013-06-26 07:57:11 UTC
Kalanaja wrote:
Quafe obviously did not hire you for having a brain pan that functions. That much is really, really certain. So what is it you do exactly for them except as a pin up piece for tons of lonely Quafe drinkers that sit around and play games all day? You know the ones I mean. That pasty, sick looking baseliners that who spend most of their time in simulations sometimes forgetting to eat or drink.


I can hold my breath underwater for three minutes~!

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!
Arkady Vachon
The Gold Angels
Sixth Empire
#15 - 2013-06-26 09:39:31 UTC
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg wrote:
Kalanaja wrote:
Quafe obviously did not hire you for having a brain pan that functions. That much is really, really certain. So what is it you do exactly for them except as a pin up piece for tons of lonely Quafe drinkers that sit around and play games all day? You know the ones I mean. That pasty, sick looking baseliners that who spend most of their time in simulations sometimes forgetting to eat or drink.


I can hold my breath underwater for three minutes~!


I can tie a cherry stem in a knot - with my tongue...

And then untie it the same way...

I don't drink Quafe, myself, I haul it and, to be honest, always am a bit skeevy about trying a beverage whose factory stations always seem to pay top dollar for copious amounts of garbage to be trucked in there. Don't mind the ISK they pay out, though.

I'm a coffee drinker, myself, now there's a drink.

Nothing Personal - Just Business...

Chaos Creates Content
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#16 - 2013-06-26 10:01:21 UTC
Arkady Vachon wrote:

I'm a coffee drinker, myself, now there's a drink.


Did you hear about my Quaffee? ♥

Oh, here I am again, going on about like, totally silly stuff whilst Nation is like, tearing up the very fabric of the cluster and stuff. ♥

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!
Vladimir Tan
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#17 - 2013-06-26 10:03:58 UTC
Frawst Caldun wrote:
The gutter press seems to be just that - guttered. This report holds basically no substantial information and completely glosses over all the details of the conspiracy itself. This looks more like the Gutter Presses attempt at getting the Quafe name into more capsuleer minds than anything. Something tells me Ms. Quafegirl has something to do with this.

Advise to ignore this post and move on, just some modern-day propaganda.


Agreed.

It is a very crude piece of propaganda.
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#18 - 2013-06-26 10:14:10 UTC
Vladimir Tan wrote:

Agreed.

It is a very crude piece of propaganda.


Says you, Starsi drinker!

Yeah, I know~. I have methods!

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!
Arkady Vachon
The Gold Angels
Sixth Empire
#19 - 2013-06-26 10:49:06 UTC
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg wrote:
Arkady Vachon wrote:

I'm a coffee drinker, myself, now there's a drink.


Did you hear about my Quaffee? ♥


No, just no.

I prefer my coffee to be made from one of the myriad bean types around the cluster that can be made into coffee, i don't even drink synthcoffee.

Tea is alright, but it doesn't have the smell, taste, and kick that i look for.



Oh yeah, Nation is fun at parties - if you want a buzz in your head that will never go away.

Nothing Personal - Just Business...

Chaos Creates Content
Laurienne 'Quafegirl' Cherbourg
Like Oh My Gosh I Totally Have A Corp Now
#20 - 2013-06-26 10:50:29 UTC
Arkady Vachon wrote:

I prefer my coffee to be made from one of the myriad bean types around the cluster that can be made into coffee, i don't even drink synthcoffee.


It's not Synth, it's to do with how the beans are prepared and roasted. ♥

Chilled Quafe™, accept no refreshment substitute. For all of you affluent Capsuleer-types, Quafe Elite™ restaraunts can be found at many stations! Only got a few minutes to spare before that fleet-op? Swing by QuafeSnacks™ for the full taste-experience you've come to expect from Quafe, on the go!
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