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Funniest Noob Questions Ever heard

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bbb2020
Carebears with Attitude
#21 - 2013-06-19 06:20:42 UTC
Here you go: http://omgrawr.net/
The official Eve Online make fun of noobs quote site
Yummy Chocolate
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#22 - 2013-06-19 06:54:36 UTC
DauntlessK wrote:
"there was a flash of light and my ship turned into what looks like an egg, did i just level up?"

fixed.

Frostys Virpio > CCP: Continously Crying Playerbase

Felicity Love >... was thinking "moar popcorn"... but now, seeing the truly awesome contribution this thread is going to make to the Greater Glory Of EVE.... imagonnamakkadapizza....
Nihi Lismus
A Lone Wolf Inc.
#23 - 2013-06-19 08:15:56 UTC
from a local chat, in a random starter system:
wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadsssssdddddwwwwaaaassssswswhy my ship doesn't move?

Helft dem Kleinkünstler!
Muad 'dib
State War Academy
Caldari State
#24 - 2013-06-19 08:28:37 UTC  |  Edited by: Muad 'dib
dont know what the question was, but the answer was "it is an amarr fighter used by carriers"

Cosmic signature detected. . . . http://i.imgur.com/Z7NfIS6.jpg I got 99 likes, and this post aint one.
Nariya Kentaya
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#25 - 2013-06-19 09:07:50 UTC
Huh, cant think of any noob questions, not even of my own, since i kinda just jumped into EVE and never asked for help...

but there was one time where i actually asked how much money i could make in a week just repeatedly dokig deleting and redocking for noob ships and trit, and was actually amazed at how much it sounded like i could make.

i was a noob, and a kid, i was impressed by anything longer than 5 digits.
Ace Menda
Gemini Lounge
#26 - 2013-06-19 09:25:58 UTC
My personal favorite:

What should I do?

Followed by:

Where is the storyline quest system?

Are you in need of some nice chat? Are you new and want some help? Look no further and join: Crazy Dutch Guy
Ruze
Next Stage Initiative
#27 - 2013-06-19 11:46:24 UTC
Noob: Why does everyone keep telling me this game is huge? There's only like 100 people around me.

Vet: Hit F10, give it a minute to load, and you'll see.

Noob: What ... um ... what am I looking at?

Vet: See each one of those lights? That's another star system just like the one your in.

Noob: Oh, my ...

Silence

Noob: Now what do I do?

If you're driven to threaten others with harm or violence because of what they do in game, you can't separate fantasy from reality. That "griefer/thief" is probably more sane than you are. How screwed up is that?
Jove Death
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#28 - 2013-06-19 11:53:16 UTC
Hmm not sure this is a noob question

BUT......

After recent patch Pretty much all i heard was

How do i get into space as the undock button has gone.


Thats for vets and noobs

Quoting "you will die" in EvE is fail Chars dont die in EvE. Unless you have a heart attack eek.
DauntlessK
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#29 - 2013-06-19 15:09:22 UTC
bbb2020 wrote:
Here you go: http://omgrawr.net/
The official Eve Online make fun of noobs quote site


Thank you for this!
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#30 - 2013-06-19 15:13:31 UTC
[Outside high sec station]
Upper level beginner player: "Oh crap, I just accidentally targetted the station!"
Noob (me): "Is it possible to blow it up?"
Dachhan
Pnex Pwn Squad
#31 - 2013-06-19 17:01:55 UTC
ShahFluffers wrote:
Back when Titans had their old Area of Effect doomsdays...

*I jump into system with fleet*
FC: Alright everyone... set up the camp here at (null-sec gate)!!
Random: CYNO!!!

*BEEeeooooooooowwwwFEEEEEESH!!!!!!*
*BEEeeooooooooowwwwFEEEEEESH!!!!!!*

FC: Two Titans in! Scatter!!
Me: Shocked Oooooo... they're so... BIG... Big smile
FC: Scatter you nub!!
Me: Hey... why are they glowing like tha-- Shocked

*POOF**splat*



This is why I love eve.. Awesome man
Dachhan
Pnex Pwn Squad
#32 - 2013-06-19 17:08:22 UTC
DauntlessK wrote:
bbb2020 wrote:
Here you go: http://omgrawr.net/
The official Eve Online make fun of noobs quote site


Thank you for this!


Yes.. this is great stuff.
Muad 'dib
State War Academy
Caldari State
#33 - 2013-06-19 17:16:08 UTC
yey immortalized in omgrawr forever! \o/

Cosmic signature detected. . . . http://i.imgur.com/Z7NfIS6.jpg I got 99 likes, and this post aint one.
Are deth
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#34 - 2013-06-19 19:54:25 UTC
bbb2020 wrote:
Here you go: http://omgrawr.net/
The official Eve Online make fun of noobs quote site



You sir are awesome! Thank you for the link.Big smile
K'hanesh Lor'al
Merc Krew Union United
#35 - 2013-06-19 21:31:02 UTC
Noob questions are funny, but Vet questions are even funnier.

About 6 months into me playing, myself and our former CEO and some noobs were running some lvl 4's, and I explained to our noobs about locking multiple targets at one.

Noob1: "Oh! I get it, thanks!"

Noob2: "How many ships can you lock at once?"

Me: "Depends on several different skills, the hull of the ship, and a few select mods."

CEO: "Khan!?! WTF you talking about!?!? Stop talking **** to the recruits! Show me a ship that can lock more than 7 targets at once, Jeez!"

*awkward silence*

Me: *links Paladin*

*awkward silence*

CEO: "Oh."

Funnier because he was an 07 player.
DauntlessK
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#36 - 2013-06-19 21:41:07 UTC
Not exactly a noob question but I forgot about this until reading over some hilarious quotes on omgrawr.

(local chat)
Explorer guy > Want a location for a small gravy site?
random local dude > sausage or brown?
random local dude > are biscuits involved?
Rath Kelbore
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#37 - 2013-06-19 23:24:03 UTC
Cat Troll wrote:
I remember going into a level 4 with my CEO.
Mind you I was a total nub, I was in an Incursus, he was supposed to get all the agro and then I come in and take care of frigates.
Problem is that I forgot the part where he is supposed to get all the agro, I got through a gate without my CEO and before my computer could even react... splat.

I would also stop while fighting people because I thought that makes it easier to hit them.


That last part isn't necessarily incorrect.

I plan on living forever.......so far, so good.
ShadowFire15
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#38 - 2013-06-19 23:33:03 UTC
saw this in a help chat waaaay back. thought it was funny.

"Guys...... I swear I saw an Orca give birth to a hulk.... There was one player name for the orca, and then another name appeared for the hulk..... I'm just not sure how one does that..."

[i]Stan Smith had a snow storm over weekend guy was shoveling snow outside, so i shot him and mined the snow myself. concord never showed up. on an unrelated note, i have a court date next tuesday[/i]
DauntlessK
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#39 - 2013-06-20 00:11:46 UTC
Here's a few gems:

On warping into his first mission:
noob> What are all these red crosses? Are those health packs I can pick up?

noob2> Can someone tell me how to cancel a self destruct in the next 10 seconds please?

noob3> Where can I find epic items in this game??
DauntlessK
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#40 - 2013-06-20 00:14:17 UTC
noob> npcs are talking to me in local
noob> in green font ??
noob> is that normal ?
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