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My Thorax Owner's Manual, or, Gallente Crew Relations
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Andrea Okazon
Laurentson INC
#1 - 2013-06-03 23:34:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Andrea Okazon
Hi, yeah, okay, so.

It's really hard to set network security permissions on these things (Thorax cruiser), and I think one of the crew might have already hacked it.

I was going through the owner's manual, and -- is that thing hanging off the aft ventral actually called the "Surplus Thruster Lobby Concession Nacelle"? Likewise, the tube on the port side is labelled "Bulk Agricultural Subsidy Accelerator".

The overall spec sheet lists the ship as a "Frigate (with committee adjustments)".

Please reply quickly, I've ducked out of the ship meeting on the fiscal sustainability of our planetside childcare co-op and as the captain I should really be in attendance.
Kim Ji-Young
Ji Young Kim Bap
#2 - 2013-06-04 00:49:18 UTC
This is what too much democracy and human rights does - every pleb with an opinion starts having their own fancy ideas about how things should be done and suddenly thinks they're better than qualified experts. Before you know it everyone's on a committee and making decisions to rename the cargo bay doors the "Remote Ancillary Ingress/Egress Superstructure Portal".

If you can't be bothered working out how to fix it or which crew did it, just fly around in lowsec for a while until you get your ship destroyed, then buy a new ship and rehire the lot. I don't condone violence like this of course but it seems to be what everyone else does so I assume you have no problem with it and why not go with the flow.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2013-06-04 01:35:09 UTC
Kim Ji-Young wrote:
Before you know it everyone's on a committee and making decisions to rename the cargo bay doors the "Remote Ancillary Ingress/Egress Superstructure Portal".


That would be a good idea! We could add it to the bill we are sending to Congress about changing the name of the toilet to "Liquid based human excrement and waste depository and disposal" or LBHEAWDD for short. If you're having trouble pronouncing the acronym I suggest using more phlem in your voice.

As for the OP, never contact costumer support on the issue. They will redirect you to some outsourced call center somewhere in Republic low security space where they will put you on hold for several hours while forcing you to listen to outdated Gallente pop music (at horrible sound quality) through your speakers. For added effect, they try reassuring you that the wait will be over soon by letting you know that you are caller number one hundred eight million, three hundred and fifty thousand, nine hundred forty two.

And after all of that? Bam! Redirected to another department!

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
#4 - 2013-06-04 08:31:40 UTC
Andrea Okazon wrote:
Hi, yeah, okay, so.

It's really hard to set network security permissions on these things (Thorax cruiser), and I think one of the crew might have already hacked it.

I was going through the owner's manual, and -- is that thing hanging off the aft ventral actually called the "Surplus Thruster Lobby Concession Nacelle"? Likewise, the tube on the port side is labelled "Bulk Agricultural Subsidy Accelerator".

The overall spec sheet lists the ship as a "Frigate (with committee adjustments)".

Please reply quickly, I've ducked out of the ship meeting on the fiscal sustainability of our planetside childcare co-op and as the captain I should really be in attendance.



If your crew is so horrible you have to leave your capsule in order to make miniscule repairs and maintenance of a cruiser sized vessel yourself... Well, unless you're stuck in some kind of a cheap Scope sitcom, I'm afraid a kind word of advice from the IGS won't do much to help you.

While I wouldn't advocate euthanasia as much as ms. Ji-Young does, simply stripping everything from the ship, including the crew next time you're in dock seems like a sensible idea. Make it a tabula rasa and start anew; this time, with competent people and equipment. I'm sure you'll find someone in dock who'd be willing to help.
  • Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim

Angels are never far...

Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc
Sanadras Riahn
Turbo Nuclear Pirate Punch
#5 - 2013-06-04 08:43:45 UTC
If it says "Frigate" on the spec sheet, regardless of "committee adjustments", you're reading the wrong spec sheet.

I'd suggest finding one quickly that says "Thorax-class Cruiser". The stuff you need to know will be sensible and easy to understand, then you can smack around the engineer onboard to get it fixed.

You can trust me on this; I've worked on a Thorax before. The "politically correct" manuals and spec sheets are about as useful as they sound.

Tradition defines and shapes a person, but should be evaluated frequently; far too often does Tradition no longer help, but hobble a person and stunt their growth. Especially a Capsuleer.
Cipher Deninard
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2013-06-04 09:14:25 UTC
You should deal with that crew. Insubordination of any kind should not be tolerated.

I know there are more psychotic solutions others may favor but I personally would try and figure out which of the crew it was and have them removed from the ship. However if in a hurry I'm sure replacing the whole crew may be faster than trying to get to the bottom of it.

The last thing you need is a conflicted crew member damaging a vital system in the middle of a fight.

Also, as stated by the others a manual titled with "Frigate" probably isn't the one you're looking for. It has been a while since I've had to deal with hard copies of documents outside of the pod though.
Liberty Roach
October Country
#7 - 2013-06-04 11:52:09 UTC
Eh, I've never needed a manual for it, the Thorax is really user-friendly. Intuitive, isn't it? It's almost like you can see which end goes where.
Andrea Okazon
Laurentson INC
#8 - 2013-06-04 12:22:05 UTC  |  Edited by: Andrea Okazon
Liberty Roach wrote:
Eh, I've never needed a manual for it, the Thorax is really user-friendly. Intuitive, isn't it? It's almost like you can see which end goes where.


I noticed that! I'll eventually stop giggling every time we nose into a stargate. Actually she flies really well. And I was pretty sure the manual was cracked but I wasn't 100 percent sure.

Hrm. Some pretty aggressive solutions being offered here. I guess we'll see.

I should probably mention -- or maybe I shouldn't -- that I had myself euthanized to avoid having to go on a politico-spiritual retreat with my mother-in-law.

So it's possible I didn't really think through the responsibilities of being a terrible space-person as thoroughly as I should have.

I'm just going to try talking with them. I think they're done debating whether there's such a thing as "fascist oatmeal".
Naraish Adarn
Alexylva Paradox
#9 - 2013-06-04 12:42:02 UTC
really i suggest buying technical manuals for most of your primary systems much better than spec sheets but i suggest atleast basic training on their topics before you try to read them.
Vikarion
Doomheim
#10 - 2013-06-04 22:57:26 UTC
I always hire Gallente crews (when possible) for my combat excursions against other pilots. For the short time that they remain with me, I find that they perform adequately. I've heard that they aren't as good as Caldari crews at long-term maintenance, but this is not a serious problem for me.
Sakura Nihil
Faded Light
#11 - 2013-06-05 01:29:58 UTC
As someone rather familiar with the Thorax... I've never had these problems.

I think someone's messing around with you.

Glory

Faded Light is recruiting
Mink Draumsiglar
Rust and Stardust
#12 - 2013-06-05 03:59:28 UTC
They who fight with ships should look to it that they themselves do not become ships. And when you plunge into a Thorax, the Thorax also plunges into you.
Kim Ji-Young
Ji Young Kim Bap
#13 - 2013-06-05 04:24:15 UTC
Mink Draumsiglar wrote:
They who fight with ships should look to it that they themselves do not become ships. And when you plunge into a Thorax, the Thorax also plunges into you.


I know your type. You appear to be sweet and poetry-loving on the surface but it's all just a ruse so you can go around plunging your Thorax, isn't it. Stay away from me, creep.
Sakuma Ogunuchi
#14 - 2013-06-05 10:05:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Sakuma Ogunuchi
Quote:
My Thorax Owner's Manual, or, Gallente Crew Relations


One of Kaleigh Doyle's works isn't it? I've never been a fan of Erotic holoreels,especially Gallente ones, but I recall someone mentioning that title actually had some substance to the plot. That lady really knows how to work a Social Adaptation Chip.
Mink Draumsiglar
Rust and Stardust
#15 - 2013-06-05 12:26:29 UTC
Kim Ji-Young wrote:
I know your type. You appear to be sweet and poetry-loving on the surface but it's all just a ruse so you can go around plunging your Thorax, isn't it. Stay away from me, creep.

You are like a young plainscat who wants to roll in the grass, but doesn't want her pride to see it. Your throat says one thing, your tail another.
Kim Ji-Young
Ji Young Kim Bap
#16 - 2013-06-05 12:33:18 UTC
Mink Draumsiglar wrote:
Kim Ji-Young wrote:
I know your type. You appear to be sweet and poetry-loving on the surface but it's all just a ruse so you can go around plunging your Thorax, isn't it. Stay away from me, creep.

You are like a young plainscat who wants to roll in the grass, but doesn't want her pride to see it. Your throat says one thing, your tail another.

You're like a creep. You say creepy things.
Andrea Okazon
Laurentson INC
#17 - 2013-06-05 12:58:30 UTC
Well, things have settled down. I managed to recover the actual documentation.

Since I couldn't figure out who was responsible, I settled for changing every option in the automatic kitchen to "cold gruel". The actual food items are still the same, but they're all labelled "cold gruel" so you have to either remember which refID# you want, or take pot luck.

Morale is excellent.
Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
#18 - 2013-06-05 13:15:27 UTC  |  Edited by: Leopold Caine
Hm, culinary authority. Interesting concept... given everything you've told us about your crew so far, and that this seems to work, I'm starting to wonder more and more where did you find such an... odd group.

Kim Ji-Young wrote:
Mink Draumsiglar wrote:
Kim Ji-Young wrote:
I know your type. You appear to be sweet and poetry-loving on the surface but it's all just a ruse so you can go around plunging your Thorax, isn't it. Stay away from me, creep.

You are like a young plainscat who wants to roll in the grass, but doesn't want her pride to see it. Your throat says one thing, your tail another.

You're like a creep. You say creepy things.


Get a channel, you two.
  • Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim

Angels are never far...

Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc
Morwen Lagann
Tyrathlion Interstellar
#19 - 2013-06-05 13:58:26 UTC
Sakuma Ogunuchi wrote:
Quote:
My Thorax Owner's Manual, or, Gallente Crew Relations


One of Kaleigh Doyle's works isn't it? I've never been a fan of Erotic holoreels,especially Gallente ones, but I recall someone mentioning that title actually had some substance to the plot. That lady really knows how to work a Social Adaptation Chip.

I'm not sure that that was one of hers; I've seen most if not all of Kaleigh's stuff and I don't recall this one, but it's possible I've forgotten or just missed one.

Man, I miss having her around...

Morwen Lagann

CEO, Tyrathlion Interstellar

Coordinator, Arataka Research Consortium

Owner, The Golden Masque
Andrea Okazon
Laurentson INC
#20 - 2013-06-05 14:17:09 UTC
Sakuma Ogunuchi wrote:
Quote:
My Thorax Owner's Manual, or, Gallente Crew Relations


One of Kaleigh Doyle's works isn't it? I've never been a fan of Erotic holoreels,especially Gallente ones, but I recall someone mentioning that title actually had some substance to the plot. That lady really knows how to work a Social Adaptation Chip.


No; I'm not allowed to watch holoreels in-capsule anymore.

You slam a corporate-owned Mining Barge into an asteroid at afterburner-speed once, and then fail to notice until you've powered out 100km into space, and all of a sudden people "want to talk about your ability to concentrate" and "are concerned about your level of technical proficiency."

No one said anything. They were all too busy laughing with their comms turned off.
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