Wormholes

As the Oracle of Bob, he would like me to clarify a little on the standard sacrifice required for Minor Infractions in His Holey W-space. I was under the influence of His Most Delicious of Saponified Liquors... and this is the vision that was bestowed upon me.

You must purchase the Most Sacred and Salubrious of warships. The Rifter.

Then you must fit The Holy Rifter properly for Sacrificial PvP. This means as many big guns and big engines as you can cram onto that hull. Bob does not approve of "Tank" on his Sacrificial Rifters. It's all about the DakkaDakkaDakka and ZooOOoom!.

You must load it's cargo bay with equal amounts of ammo, Quafe, and Exotic Dancers.

You must name your ship: [your name]'s Sacrificial Rifter.

Then you must find a system belonging one of His Chosen. You can tell if they are one of his Chosen. They will try to kill you.

You must then apologize for your Minor Infraction in Local. And then challenge said Chosen to fight you to the death 100 km from the sun. You must fight any and all Chosen that land on grid with you. You must fight back. You must explode.

You may try to get away in your pod. But Bob finds it more pleasing if you sacrifice yourself in totality. Your appeal for Leniency may be heard and he may grant you His Sacred Sleeper Indulgences once again. Or his Chosen may divine Bob's Will and escort your pod back to your home or to "Kay Spayce".

To prove your Loyalty and Faith. You must post your killmail and apology here in the forums.

Spatula.

Reeefter?!? We don't need no stinking Reeefters!

I see one major problem with this. The heretical prophet demands ammo, Quafe and Exotic Dancers.

Bob demands frozen corpses, at least a dozen of them, and frozen corpses only. Nothing else matters, as long as there are explosions and corpses involved.

Burn the heretic, for his misguided advice may have led to the damnation of several capsuleers!

Remember to loot corpses folks, they may some day save you from undesirable wormhole connections, not to mention saving your immortal ISK wallet.

Can I bring a bomber?

Sounds legit to me. Time to do some sacrificial shopping in Jita.

True followers of Bob do not beg and placate Bob for the horrid ISK, they pew pew in his presence, they die in the burning light of his glory.

Heretic. Burn Him. BUURRRN HIMMM!!!

Brother Tanner, never once have I stateth that one must beg.

No. Truly I say to you Brother. Bob the God of Wormholes, the Most Majestic of Magnetars, the Prodigal Sun-God of Pulsars, the Regal Lord of Red Giants, The Bane of Black Holes, the Wayfaring Wanderer of Wolf-Rayets... Does not demand prayers, or worship, or the bowing and licking of boots.

It is through our actions, and the Ministering of Dakka and Zoom upon each other that we attract His Steely Gaze and the Clammy Embrace of His Amorphous Appendages.

It is through the displays of our Martial Skill that he extends to us the Boons and Indulgences.

To Follow Bob is to understand the Balance of His Way. To engage in the Sacred Ritual of the Explosination of Ships and of the Pods, his Chosen must utilise the ISK that Bob Provides to aquire the Ships and the Pods and the Implants and the Modules.

Bob Provides for his Chosen with the Boons and Indulgences of His Anomalies and Salubrious Signatures. Whereby His Chosen may aquire the Tools and Impliments of Explosination. For without the ISK, Explosination would not happen, and Bob would NOT Provide for His Chosen.

It is through the lack of Balance that Bob grows wrathful. If one were to impugn upon the His Generosity too much, commit the Sins of Saint Bloobaal and of Saint Flash Crash. He will deny them His Clammy Embrace. To not engage in the Sacred Ritual of the Explosination of Ships and of Pods when given the opportunity is the Sin of Saint Bloobaal.

One must Explosionate both Sleepers and Explosionate the Ships and the Pods. The Explosionation of Sleepers gives us the ISK to provide the Tools of Explosionation to engage in the Sacred Ritual of the Explosionation of the Ships and of the Pods. Which releases the Rarefied Ethers of Frozen Corpses and the Sacred Unguents of Pod Goo. Bob is attracted to the Rarefied Ethers of Frozen Corpses and the scent of the Sacred Unguents of Pod Goo. He then extends futher to His Chosen the Boons and Indulgences of ISK so His Chosen may make further Offerings of Frozen Corpses and of the Pod Goo.

To Deny the Sacred Ritual of the Explosionation of the Ships and of the Pods is to break the cycle of Favor.

Therefore to restore the Balance of Bob's Way, one must prepare the Standard Sacrifice to Bob, and engage in The Sacred Ritual of the Explosionation of the Ships and of the Pods.

Spatula.

Thank Bob because I love to sing in local when I'm far far away from my own hole that I have now lost. I see now my transgressions and why I lost it in the first place.

Am I allowed to fit a probe launcher so that I may bring my rifter to be explosionated for my sins or should I scan first then go?

Gloriosa Bob, qui tollis cognoscere mundi, dona nobis bellis.

Now I must go sacrifice an Impairor of Bad Latin in Amarr.

Brother Patater.

May Bob Embrace you with His Amorphous Appendages.

Thouest may fit A Holey Scan Probe Launcher. But it may be more practical to scan first, and then seek to engage in the Sacred Ritual of the Explosination of the Ships and of the Pods.

For if thouest know where to find His Chosen, thou may needest the Knowledge and the Beneficent Bookmarks to find your way back to The Kingdom of Bob if thouest get thine Ship and thine Pod Explosionated. To be accidentally banished to Kay Spayce would be a fate most horrid and unimaginable.

Spatula.