EVE New Citizens Q&A

EDIT: I apologize for lack of TLDR. It's long

Every time I join the Eve university admissions queue my place in line goes up the longer I wait. Quite disheartening. If I ***** in the e-uni channel, people act like I have ADD or something. Yea, wanting to start learning how to play the damn game 3 days after I paid for it (and 5 days after I signed up) is real ADD. Healthy people are happy to wait 6 months of monthly subscription to actually start getting some help. Right?

At this point the game is so "mature" (read: ripe with old farts filled with advantages) that you can hardly start doing anything without some serious help from a corporation. I went and I spent a ton of isk to at least start researching some blueprints or something, only to see all research spots are taken for the next month and a half at ALL stations in this region. Awesome, so either a ton of people are hi sec carebears who don't ever experience 99% of the game, or there are a LOT of people with many many alts. I just LOVE competing with that, with only the wiki by my side. If I so much as peek outside of hi-sec, I get blown up.

Do you have any suggestions on what the hell I can do? Because the more I read and the more I play the more I realise this game is full of GOTCHAs, and if I join the wrong corp I can make life really hard for myself for a LONG time, even if I leave that corp. Of course I eve-mailed the goons, where I think I will probably want to end up, and all I got back was silence. So far this game has been the worst most unwelcoming gaming community ever. Even LOL players at least ******* acknowledge you, even if all they do is act like retards.

Who can I contact for some guidance? Which corporation should I join? What can I do, man? I'm stuck in hi sec with all slots for everything taken up, even the ******* asteroid fields are MINED THE **** OUT. To discover hidden fields I need to wait another few days for my astrometrics skills to train up, because right now I'm having a really hard time finding gravimemtric anomalies so I can at least pretend like I'm playing the game. Give me some advice, please.



NOTES:

This is what I did so far: read probably 60% of the eve-u wiki and good deal of the official one as well. Signed up with the buddy pass of a guy on the forum. Got some 410M isk for subscribing. Applied to e-uni, being careful to do EVERYTHING in their application process. Set up my overview laboriously as per e-uni standards, doing it slowly as to understand WHY I'm setting it up like that. Mined some veldspar. Went to Jita and got ripped off. Finished all career missions. Mined what I could. Messed around with fittings. Bought a cheap blue print original for some ammo, only to realize there are no hi sec research spots left. Played around with scanning. Had no problem finding all the training sites in seconds. Had a lot of problem finding anything but rat sites in high sec space.

Now I'm 5 days in, no interview with e-uni, afraid to death to join another corp because it seems if you join the wrong one you can find yourself station camped all day, hated by people you never met, and get a bad reputation following you even after you leave. I read the recruiting forum, and there are some corps I like, but I'm afraid of another GOTCHA. I'd like to join the goons, I started playing this game after reading about that big battle, but the goons are not responding. I guess I'm too insignificant for them. Or a spy or some ****. I don't have a somethingawful forum account. I don't want to make one, I want to play eve.

Then I read the wiki at the Test Alliance site. Well, the part that is public anyway. I liked it. I really liked their videos where they said how they value noobs and how today's frigate pilot is tommorrow's battleship pilot, etc, eventually titan pilot. I got so excited, I looked up the rules for joining and these "welcoming" people want me to make a forum account and for 3 months spam their sub-sub reddit. Lol, I don't want a reddit account, I want to play eve.