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How do I get a girlfriend?

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Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#121 - 2012-12-26 00:21:00 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Aerethir El-Kharisti wrote:
Why is this thread not locked? It is incredibly bad trolling What?


This is not trolling... this is relationship advice from the Eve playerbase


which is often confused with trolling.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#122 - 2012-12-26 00:21:52 UTC
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Aerethir El-Kharisti wrote:
Why is this thread not locked? It is incredibly bad trolling What?


This is not trolling... this is relationship advice from the Eve playerbase


which is often confused with trolling.


Only by trolls Big smile

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Zol Interbottom
Blimp Requisition Services
#123 - 2012-12-26 03:25:52 UTC
ignore all advice on EVE forums, go out and do what you do that isnt EVE, shower regularly, take care of your teeth and get a decent haircut, also being in shape helps

do not talk about videogames for the love of god read some philosophy and make sure you are a generally interesting person, if not dont try fake it

"If you're quitting for the 3rd time you clearly ain't quitting" - Chribba
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#124 - 2012-12-26 03:44:25 UTC
Zol Interbottom wrote:
ignore all advice on EVE forums, go out and do what you do that isnt EVE, shower regularly, take care of your teeth and get a decent haircut, also being in shape helps

do not talk about videogames for the love of god read some philosophy and make sure you are a generally interesting person, if not dont try fake it


Round is a shape Big smile

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Ares Desideratus
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#125 - 2012-12-26 03:56:49 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Zol Interbottom wrote:
ignore all advice on EVE forums, go out and do what you do that isnt EVE, shower regularly, take care of your teeth and get a decent haircut, also being in shape helps

do not talk about videogames for the love of god read some philosophy and make sure you are a generally interesting person, if not dont try fake it


Round is a shape Big smile

woah... funny guy
Aerethir El-Kharisti
#126 - 2012-12-26 14:24:29 UTC
Zol Interbottom wrote:
ignore all advice on EVE forums, go out and do what you do that isnt EVE, ...


On the other hand, on these forums he might find a girlfriend who has the same interest as he, which is a good start.
(I might or might not troll, just as much as the OP might or might not be trolling)

With great power comes great electricity bill.
Arpu Shigura
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#127 - 2012-12-26 17:29:17 UTC
Confirming, I am unstable, insane and sociopathic. All men should stay away from me, especially the ones playing EVE and particularly the ones offering advice in this thread.
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#128 - 2012-12-26 18:04:15 UTC
Arpu Shigura wrote:
All men should stay away from me, especially the ones playing EVE and particularly the ones offering advice in this thread.


oh, i don't know. a couple of them seem to have their heads on straight and assembled in a fairly correct manner. there may be hope yet. Lol
Seven Koskanaiken
Shadow Legions.
SONS of BANE
#129 - 2012-12-27 03:59:56 UTC
Herzog Wolfhammer wrote:
There are two things women do that I just can't figure out.


1. The remove their eyebrows and then draw on new ones.
2. They shave their legs, but then wear dark tinted hose that makes them look like they have hairy legs at a distance.

Heck, I might as well shave my sack and put on little fuzzy sack socks or something. Makes just as much sense.





3. getting upset when you don't buy a folded over bit of cardboard on xmas/birthdays/etc
4. obsessively cleaning surfaces 3x a day even though humans evolved an immune system to live in jungles and caves
5. listening to "r and b" music
Mars Theran
Foreign Interloper
#130 - 2012-12-27 06:20:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Mars Theran
Zol Interbottom wrote:
ignore all advice on EVE forums, go out and do what you do that isnt EVE, shower regularly, take care of your teeth and get a decent haircut, also being in shape helps

do not talk about videogames for the love of god read some philosophy and make sure you are a generally interesting person, if not dont try fake it


Why is it that you suggest faking it and recommend not faking it within the same piece of advice. Philosophy is not something you pretend to have an interest in, and most people who do havenbt got their heads on straight. Also, most women couldn't give a rats arse about it and stay well away from anyone who does.

This isn't good advice. The showering, brushing your teeth, and generally keeping a neat, clean appearance, while at least making an effort to stay in shape, (without being a fanatic about it), was.

Cheers,

Smile

edit: oh, and of you like video games, don't be afraid to admit it; better they find out your real interests than run under false assumptions until they find out you would rather sit in front of a PC than talk to them. That's not cool. Some girls like video games, and others don't mind if you like to spend time doing that. If they have a problem with it, then it's best if you make a decision about which is more important to you, or just look for someone who doesn't have a problem with it.

Chances are, the latter is a better idea, as the former may well make you unhappy, and that won't be good for any relationship either.
zubzubzubzubzubzubzubzub
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
#131 - 2012-12-27 11:33:29 UTC
More words of advice from... the Love Doctor.

(so you know I heard this from someone else)


I hear a lot of fellows complain about being ignored or dumped for being "too nice".

Well, over the years I have observed that if a man is not inherently a scumbag, but fears being one, he's going to be "too nice", and that comes off as fake or creepy.

Thus, the intrepid fellow actually has to do things that he would normally "feel" are not nice, even if they are not directly acts of scumbaggery. Think of it as modifying your internal a-hole governor.


Also, a warning, is that those women I have seen occasionally to whom a man cannot be "too nice", turn out to be the worst monsters you could ever meet. I don't know if they seek out such men, or if such men bring that out of them. Certainly not a good dynamic.


Finally, try OKCupid. It's got a host of questions you can answer with variable levels of importance. For example, you can have a question like "would you take a bedroom toy in the butt" and answer something like "no, and I would never do that to someone else" - then you put a priority on the question such that a potential date would also have to, by high importance or mandatory, answer the question in the same manner. This certainly would help you avoid one of those "get that **** out of my ass" situations.

(Luckily for me I don't write from experience but sometimes I think that I should be even halfway kinky and graduate from "monk" status)

Bring back DEEEEP Space!
Telegram Sam
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#132 - 2012-12-27 15:34:53 UTC  |  Edited by: Telegram Sam
Herzog Wolfhammer wrote:
More words of advice from... the Love Doctor.

(so you know I heard this from someone else)


I hear a lot of fellows complain about being ignored or dumped for being "too nice".

Well, over the years I have observed that if a man is not inherently a scumbag, but fears being one, he's going to be "too nice", and that comes off as fake or creepy.

Thus, the intrepid fellow actually has to do things that he would normally "feel" are not nice, even if they are not directly acts of scumbaggery. Think of it as modifying your internal a-hole governor.

There's a biological theory about the "too nice" paradox. Maybe by Desmond Morris, I'm not sure. It goes like this:

-Human behavior, including mating behavior, is not especially different from the behavior of other mammals. The basis developed during the species' long history of living in the wild. Recent social rules and norms strongly affect behavior, of course, but they haven't eliminated the basic instinctual strategies.

-Like all humans, the female human's instinct is to seek a mate that shows the best possible potential for producing strong offspring.

-The female human therefore is attracted to Alpha male humans. That is, strong, socially dominant males. As we all know, Alpha males of any species don't achieve their status by being nice guys. They're a-holes.

-So, the human female has now paired with an Alpha male. Now comes child-rearing time. Unlike a kitten that matures in a just a few months, a human child biologically takes maybe 12 years to reach self-sufficiency. (In the wild, that is). Nurturing a kid that long requires both parents. Female can't do it alone. (Again, we're talking about humans in their original state, say, as as early Cro-Magnons).

-Well, the problem we have now is the Alpha-type male isn't a good nurturer. He's selfish, willful, and promiscuous. What the female needs now is a Beta male "nice guy." A reasonable, thoughtful, responsible nice guy who will sacrifice his freedom for the kid.

-Therefore, the human female's mission is to mate with an Alpha, and then immediately turn him into a Beta. Please take a moment to ponder that. Look for examples in relationships/marriage you have seen.

-And now, for nature's cruelest trick of all-- After bearing children, and turning her mate into a Beta male, the human female still finds Alpha males the most attractive. (The impulse to mate with the stronger gene-bearer naturally doesn't just automatically turn off after signing a marriage certificate). So, the female still respects Alpha males the most-- but her mate is a wimpy Beta. Poor Beta mate is constantly being compared to Alpha males and found wanting. Poor female is in a quandary if wanting her mate to be Alpha, but still provide vital child-rearing and "nest building" roles.

Valid theory? You make the call. Smile
Arpu Shigura
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#133 - 2012-12-27 16:21:26 UTC
I don't think an alpha male would be a selfish scumbag.

As a matter of fact, when I consider the most basic needs - like the theory does - I actually want my alpha male to be nurturing as well as assertive and strong. After all he has to hunt for me when I'm weak after childbirth and busy with breastfeeding, he has to defend my children based on his own motivation and I generally want him to have my back and protect me against nature's dangers or other humans who want to kill my children so they can have a higher chance for their own offspring to prosper.

That whole theory sounds a lot like middle aged men defending the fact that they let themselves go, become fat and boring and then say it's the women's fault who turned them into "betas".

If you think you're on the right track by being a selfish abusive prick, then you might eventually realize how all the women who are attracted to you are damaged goods who have serious abuse issues in their childhood, and while they might even be easy on the eyes they are certainly not alpha females.
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#134 - 2012-12-27 16:26:43 UTC
Why anyone would want another person in their life is beyond my understanding.

This post was lovingly crafted by a member of the Goonwaffe Posting Cabal, proud member of the popular gay hookup site somethingawful.com, Spelling Bee, Grammar Gestapo & #1 Official Gevlon Goblin Fanclub member.
Zimmy Zeta
Perkone
Caldari State
#135 - 2012-12-27 16:36:31 UTC
Telegram Sam wrote:
...
There's a biological theory about the "too nice" paradox. Maybe by Desmond Morris, I'm not sure. It goes like this:

-Human behavior, including mating behavior, is not especially different from the behavior of other mammals. The basis developed during the species' long history of living in the wild. Recent social rules and norms strongly affect behavior, of course, but they haven't eliminated the basic instinctual strategies.

-Like all humans, the female human's instinct is to seek a mate that shows the best possible potential for producing strong offspring.

-The female human therefore is attracted to Alpha male humans. That is, strong, socially dominant males. As we all know, Alpha males of any species don't achieve their status by being nice guys. They're a-holes.

-So, the human female has now paired with an Alpha male. Now comes child-rearing time. Unlike a kitten that matures in a just a few months, a human child biologically takes maybe 12 years to reach self-sufficiency. (In the wild, that is). Nurturing a kid that long requires both parents. Female can't do it alone. (Again, we're talking about humans in their original state, say, as as early Cro-Magnons).

-Well, the problem we have now is the Alpha-type male isn't a good nurturer. He's selfish, willful, and promiscuous. What the female needs now is a Beta male "nice guy." A reasonable, thoughtful, responsible nice guy who will sacrifice his freedom for the kid.

-Therefore, the human female's mission is to mate with an Alpha, and then immediately turn him into a Beta. Please take a moment to ponder that. Look for examples in relationships/marriage you have seen.

-And now, for nature's cruelest trick of all-- After bearing children, and turning her mate into a Beta male, the human female still finds Alpha males the most attractive. (The impulse to mate with the stronger gene-bearer naturally doesn't just automatically turn off after signing a marriage certificate). So, the female still respects Alpha males the most-- but her mate is a wimpy Beta. Poor Beta mate is constantly being compared to Alpha males and found wanting. Poor female is in a quandary if wanting her mate to be Alpha, but still provide vital child-rearing and "nest building" roles.

Valid theory? You make the call. Smile


Since the term "alpha-male" was taken from wolf packs, maybe I should point out that science has gained much more insight into the sociology of wolves in the last years that completely redefined the term "alpha-wolf".
Alpha- wolves are not the strongest and meanest beasts in the pack. The betas are.
Alpha-wolves are rather some kind of canine diplomats- they court for the betas to support them.
The alpha with enough beta support is then fit to take over the pack.
Overall, the whole system reminds more of feudal Europe than a raging anarchy where only the strongest survive.

I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.
Elias Greyhand
#136 - 2012-12-27 18:34:59 UTC
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
oh, i don't know. a couple of them seem to have their heads on straight and assembled in a fairly correct manner. there may be hope yet. Lol


Not me though, right? I'm hoping to be hopeless.

"That which is done cannot be undone. But it can be avenged."
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#137 - 2012-12-27 18:41:10 UTC
Zimmy Zeta wrote:
Telegram Sam wrote:
...
There's a biological theory about the "too nice" paradox. Maybe by Desmond Morris, I'm not sure. It goes like this:

-Human behavior, including mating behavior, is not especially different from the behavior of other mammals. The basis developed during the species' long history of living in the wild. Recent social rules and norms strongly affect behavior, of course, but they haven't eliminated the basic instinctual strategies.

-Like all humans, the female human's instinct is to seek a mate that shows the best possible potential for producing strong offspring.

-The female human therefore is attracted to Alpha male humans. That is, strong, socially dominant males. As we all know, Alpha males of any species don't achieve their status by being nice guys. They're a-holes.

-So, the human female has now paired with an Alpha male. Now comes child-rearing time. Unlike a kitten that matures in a just a few months, a human child biologically takes maybe 12 years to reach self-sufficiency. (In the wild, that is). Nurturing a kid that long requires both parents. Female can't do it alone. (Again, we're talking about humans in their original state, say, as as early Cro-Magnons).

-Well, the problem we have now is the Alpha-type male isn't a good nurturer. He's selfish, willful, and promiscuous. What the female needs now is a Beta male "nice guy." A reasonable, thoughtful, responsible nice guy who will sacrifice his freedom for the kid.

-Therefore, the human female's mission is to mate with an Alpha, and then immediately turn him into a Beta. Please take a moment to ponder that. Look for examples in relationships/marriage you have seen.

-And now, for nature's cruelest trick of all-- After bearing children, and turning her mate into a Beta male, the human female still finds Alpha males the most attractive. (The impulse to mate with the stronger gene-bearer naturally doesn't just automatically turn off after signing a marriage certificate). So, the female still respects Alpha males the most-- but her mate is a wimpy Beta. Poor Beta mate is constantly being compared to Alpha males and found wanting. Poor female is in a quandary if wanting her mate to be Alpha, but still provide vital child-rearing and "nest building" roles.

Valid theory? You make the call. Smile


Since the term "alpha-male" was taken from wolf packs, maybe I should point out that science has gained much more insight into the sociology of wolves in the last years that completely redefined the term "alpha-wolf".
Alpha- wolves are not the strongest and meanest beasts in the pack. The betas are.
Alpha-wolves are rather some kind of canine diplomats- they court for the betas to support them.
The alpha with enough beta support is then fit to take over the pack.
Overall, the whole system reminds more of feudal Europe than a raging anarchy where only the strongest survive.


I prefer the mating strategy of the blanket octopus (it's from Australia, go figure).

It fills up one of it's tentacles with sperm, tears it off, and hands it to the female.

Like a boss Cool

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Telegram Sam
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#138 - 2012-12-27 19:26:36 UTC  |  Edited by: Telegram Sam
Well, Desmond Morris's theories are generally all pretty controversial. He considers humans another species of ape (the 'Naked Ape'), and looks for comparisons to near relatives like chimpanzees and bonobos. His general idea is that our root instincts go back to life in packs of roaming hunter-foragers. Those instincts create a lot of conflicts, paradoxes, and stress for modern humans living under modern social systems. Opponents of his theories say that they ignore the fact that people have awareness and free will, so they can make conscious decisions about their own behavior.
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
#139 - 2012-12-27 22:35:26 UTC
Telegram Sam wrote:
Herzog Wolfhammer wrote:
More words of advice from... the Love Doctor.

(so you know I heard this from someone else)


I hear a lot of fellows complain about being ignored or dumped for being "too nice".

Well, over the years I have observed that if a man is not inherently a scumbag, but fears being one, he's going to be "too nice", and that comes off as fake or creepy.

Thus, the intrepid fellow actually has to do things that he would normally "feel" are not nice, even if they are not directly acts of scumbaggery. Think of it as modifying your internal a-hole governor.

There's a biological theory about the "too nice" paradox. Maybe by Desmond Morris, I'm not sure. It goes like this:

-Human behavior, including mating behavior, is not especially different from the behavior of other mammals. The basis developed during the species' long history of living in the wild. Recent social rules and norms strongly affect behavior, of course, but they haven't eliminated the basic instinctual strategies.

-Like all humans, the female human's instinct is to seek a mate that shows the best possible potential for producing strong offspring.

-The female human therefore is attracted to Alpha male humans. That is, strong, socially dominant males. As we all know, Alpha males of any species don't achieve their status by being nice guys. They're a-holes.

-So, the human female has now paired with an Alpha male. Now comes child-rearing time. Unlike a kitten that matures in a just a few months, a human child biologically takes maybe 12 years to reach self-sufficiency. (In the wild, that is). Nurturing a kid that long requires both parents. Female can't do it alone. (Again, we're talking about humans in their original state, say, as as early Cro-Magnons).

-Well, the problem we have now is the Alpha-type male isn't a good nurturer. He's selfish, willful, and promiscuous. What the female needs now is a Beta male "nice guy." A reasonable, thoughtful, responsible nice guy who will sacrifice his freedom for the kid.

-Therefore, the human female's mission is to mate with an Alpha, and then immediately turn him into a Beta. Please take a moment to ponder that. Look for examples in relationships/marriage you have seen.

-And now, for nature's cruelest trick of all-- After bearing children, and turning her mate into a Beta male, the human female still finds Alpha males the most attractive. (The impulse to mate with the stronger gene-bearer naturally doesn't just automatically turn off after signing a marriage certificate). So, the female still respects Alpha males the most-- but her mate is a wimpy Beta. Poor Beta mate is constantly being compared to Alpha males and found wanting. Poor female is in a quandary if wanting her mate to be Alpha, but still provide vital child-rearing and "nest building" roles.

Valid theory? You make the call. Smile



Interesting.

That Paula Cole song "Where have all the cowboys gone" always irritated me. There is certainly a pattern of domestication in marriage, though not sure it's all based on the Alpha and Beta thing. What always irked me is when a woman complains about the results of the changes she demanded and coerced for.

My rule has always been, the more I have to give up and change, the closer to being a supermodel she must be. I'm not giving up my hobbies for a fatty McFatfat who's going to demand I get rid of this and stop doing that while she sits on the couch and eats bonbons all day.

The culture pushed in the West is basically "men are buffoons and morons who are all wrong and needs a woman to change them for the better" while "women are always right and should not be judged".

Yeah, as the 10th most popular Christmas gift request this year was "a dad", it does not appear to be working out well.

Bring back DEEEEP Space!
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#140 - 2012-12-27 22:59:04 UTC
Herzog Wolfhammer wrote:
The culture pushed in the West is basically "men are buffoons and morons who are all wrong and needs a woman to change them for the better" while "women are always right and should not be judged".


seems perfectly reasonable to me! Blink