EVE General Discussion

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through New Eden
All the pilots were docked, where no one could see them.
Their freight cans were organized in various sizes,
Hoping to fill them with an assortment of prizes.

Local was quiet, no insults or threats,
As people feared bounties would be placed on their heads.
And Zor in his battleship and Anire in her frig,
Were docked at a pleasure hub dancing a jig.

When outside the station I heard a great boom,
I hit the undock in my brand new Dragoon.
As soon as I undocked I hit control space,
To stay within docking range as the carnage took place.

A wreck was before me, with parts strewn about
As five little salvage drones were searching throughout.
When what to the station should suddenly warp,
But an Orca and eight Ventures, from a new mining corp.

We targeted the small fleet before they could dock
And knew in an instant we'd hit the jackpot.
The commander called orders with the greatest of haste
To make sure our efforts would not go to waste.

"Primary Dasher! Now, Dancer! Shoot Prancer and Vixen!
Next, Comet! Get, Cupid! Pod Donner and Blitzen!
Don't let them escape, make sure that they fall!
Now shoot away! Shoot away! Shoot away all!

As each name was called their ships were destroyed,
We got the pods too, we were all overjoyed.
There was only one left but it gave us some pause,
The name of the pilot was old Santa Claus.

With a blinking my local tab suddenly lit
It seemed that St. Nick was throwing a fit.
"What are you doing, don't you know who I am!?
I deliver joy and happiness all over the land!"

"You should be docked up in bed, not outside like this
It's Christmas Eve now, do you not want your gifts?
You've killed all my reindeer, shot their pods too
You're all on my naughty list, no gifts for you!"

His eyes were now twinkling, his tears were delicious!
His cheeks were now drooping, it was something to witness!
His quivering mouth was drawn in a frown,
And his once white beard was now singed and brown.

The last bit of structure melted from his ship,
As smoke billowed forth the hull began to rip.
The explosion was massive, sparks flying through space,
Every one of us laughed at the look on Santa's face!

His chubby old face looked ready to burst,
We laughed even harder as he sputtered and cursed!
"My ship, all the toys, every last one destroyed!
There's no Christmas now for the good girls and boys!"

With these final words we popped Santa's pod
Then looted the wrecks, but the items were odd.
Snowballs, Carbon, Lag, Boot.ini
What are these for? Whatever, it's funny.

We docked up once more when my mail began blinking,
It was a message from Santa, what was he thinking?
I sent a reply back, not wanting to be rude,
"Happy Christmas dear Santa, don't fly what you can't lose!"

Nicely done.


DMC