Intergalactic Summit

I am giving away one hundred million ISK to the one capsuleer that can answer this question the best: why should I give you one hundred million ISK?.

You should give me one hundred million ISK because I'm about to dazzle you with my understanding of your motive, the return on your investment, and my dashing good looks. I'll throw in a threat, too! Read on, gorgeous.

I know you are disappointed with the quality of communication you see here at the Intergalactic Summit. You want your generous offer to draw out the most articulate among us to share some magnificent prose and add a little color to an otherwise dreary IGS experience. Your wish is granted: I'm here. I can't speak much for the rest of the rabble, of course, as you'll likely see a great deal of blathering from the usual troglodytes who can barely offer more than a grunt and a fart to communicate.

I noticed you are offering a grant, not a prize. That intrigues me. A grant is typically a patronage for some project or research that requires funding, not a gift in exchange for something already done. This post, therefore, is undeserving in and of itself. The grant should fund something of interest. I did some research on your career as a pilot, and it seems you like seeing other pilots explode. To that end, I will use your grant to place bounties on some of the losers in this very thread. Given CONCORD's payout rate, your grant will fund approximately five hundred million ISK in destruction. That's a return that any astute Caldari businessperson can appreciate.

Now, I promised you a threat. You should give me the grant because failing to do so will result in a one hundred million ISK bounty on your own head. Revisiting the previous math, that means you will eventually lose about five times that amount to clear the bounty, plus you'll have spent the grant money. Your total loss: six hundred million ISK.

Altogether, you stand to gain four hundred million ISK and avoid losing six hundred million ISK (including wasting the grant on some fool). You get one billion ISK in net value from me, and I'll even throw in a date so you can admire my shrewdness up close and personal--an invaluable bonus. Your choice is clear. You should give me one hundred million ISK because it simply makes the best financial sense and because your greedy Caldari heart is nearly bursting with excitement from reading this.