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The Right to AFK Mine - The Dystopia of 2015 is coming

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Kainotomiu Ronuken
koahisquad
#41 - 2012-11-13 14:47:42 UTC  |  Edited by: Kainotomiu Ronuken
Honestly this whole Proveldtariat thing is getting embarrassing. But because I'm a masochist and like to embarrass myself, let's take a quick look at the history of the Proveldtariat movement thus far;

October, 2012 The great Anslo goes to war against the miner bumpers on the forums. The original suggestion is an anti-bumping module that will immobilise any ship carrying it. Anslo was prepared to admit that maybe this module should have some downsides, like a fitting cost or something.

1st November, 2021 Anslo and some anonymous friends establish the Proveldtariat website. They fill it with Marxist terminology and amateur propaganda, including a page on how to evade bumpers (nowhere do they mention the timely purchase of a mining fee as the most effective way), a page on how to deal with the bumpers - yes, there's a difference - and a half-started Manifesto.

5th November, 2012 Anslo comes up with a revolutionary idea to make a list of people who bump miners. It is quickly populated with random Dreddit members and similarly random miners. And then... nothing.

5th November, 2012 Anslo comes up with another revolutionary idea! Translating the Proveldtariat site into other languages will surely triple or quadruple its effectiveness! Sadly there's no real material to translate yet, but he's working on it!

2nd - 8th November, 2012 Anslo comes up with yet another revolutionary idea! To protest against the bumping of miners, he would bump miners himself! That'd show them!

8th November, 2012 Some actual content, albeit relatively thin and irrelevant content. Anslo publishes a post about Retribution for the common miner. Hint: Most of them probably don't know about it yet.

12th November, 2012 Anslo has another revolutionary idea. Sadly, he doesn't tell anyone about it and instead publishes a recipe for ore-flavoured cider. After all, the miners have to have something to do while they're AFK.

12th November, 2012 More vapid propaganda is published. Nobody cares.

13th November, 2012 Anslo's chief supporter, Torvin Yulus, converts to the New Order and posts a morally uplifting story of the utopia that is bound to be brought about by miner bumping. Anslo is crushed by the betrayal.
Anslo
Scope Works
#42 - 2012-11-13 14:48:45 UTC  |  Edited by: Anslo
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:
Sorry man. You blew your load too early. Even your partner in crime knows you are a troll now.


Tell me about it Shocked

Kainotomiu Ronuken wrote:
[b[13th November, 2012[/b] Anslo's chief supporter, Torvin Yulus, converts to the New Order and posts a morally uplifting story of the utopia that is bound to be brought about by miner bumping. Anslo is crushed by the betrayal.


Crushed? I think it's lulzy P Live and learn!

Asuri Kinnes wrote:


Goons won eve.


Who's going to remove them from their space?


Well, no one (unless someone forgets to put money in a wallet, but that can't be counted on).


Grats guys.


BOB will save us from this mena-ohwait...

[center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]
Asuri Kinnes
Perkone
Caldari State
#43 - 2012-11-13 14:54:25 UTC
Anslo wrote:


Asuri Kinnes wrote:


Goons won eve.


Who's going to remove them from their space?


Well, no one (unless someone forgets to put money in a wallet, but that can't be counted on).


Grats guys.


BOB will save us from this mena-ohwait...

My point exactly...

Bob is the god of Wormholes.

That's all you need to know.
Torvin Yulus
Doomheim
#44 - 2012-11-13 20:47:15 UTC
Kainotomiu Ronuken wrote:


13th November, 2012 Anslo's chief supporter, Torvin Yulus, converts to the New Order and posts a morally uplifting story of the utopia that is bound to be brought about by miner bumping. Anslo is crushed by the betrayal.


i am not defecting you moron i am as convicted to miner freedom as ever.

i will make my voice heard.

im a pubby and im proud
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#45 - 2012-11-13 20:59:22 UTC
Torvin Yulus wrote:
Kainotomiu Ronuken wrote:


13th November, 2012 Anslo's chief supporter, Torvin Yulus, converts to the New Order and posts a morally uplifting story of the utopia that is bound to be brought about by miner bumping. Anslo is crushed by the betrayal.


i am not defecting you moron i am as convicted to miner freedom as ever.

i will make my voice heard.


I think you have the meaning of the word 'convicted' confused with something else.

This post was lovingly crafted by a member of the Goonwaffe Posting Cabal, proud member of the popular gay hookup site somethingawful.com, Spelling Bee, Grammar Gestapo & #1 Official Gevlon Goblin Fanclub member.
Anslo
Scope Works
#46 - 2012-11-13 21:01:45 UTC
Torvin Yulus wrote:


i am not defecting you moron i am as convicted to miner freedom as ever.

i will make my voice heard.


Suuuuure you are Roll

[center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]
Keen Fallsword
Skyway Patrol
#47 - 2012-11-13 21:18:33 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Dorrim Barstorlode
Edit: Spam removed - ISD Dorrim Barstorlode
Kainotomiu Ronuken
koahisquad
#48 - 2012-11-13 21:46:01 UTC
Anslo wrote:
Torvin Yulus wrote:


i am not defecting you moron i am as convicted to miner freedom as ever.

i will make my voice heard.


Suuuuure you are Roll

And this is how the Proveldtariat treats its supporters! Sarcasm, eyerolls, sudden abandonment when the popular opinion goes against the player in question.

And that's nothing compared to what I've heard discussing it in Local with your ex-supporters.
admiral root
Red Galaxy
#49 - 2012-11-13 21:46:02 UTC
Anslo uses his Torvin alt to post so that he can both have someone to talk to and someone to talk down to. After all, this is the guy who turned Capt Lynch, who was a diehard anti-new order rebel, against the "rebellion" and into the arms of James 315.

Miners roll their eyes in despair when Anslo pontificates in local.

No, your rights end in optimal+2*falloff
Tubrug1
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#50 - 2012-11-13 22:06:20 UTC
It will happen. You cannot stop it from happening.

Writer of The Eve Onion

I have a Twitter
Metal Icarus
Star Frontiers
Brotherhood of Spacers
#51 - 2012-11-13 22:13:07 UTC
This story implies the Goons will make it to 2015.....

fiction indeed.
La Nariz
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#52 - 2012-11-13 22:18:00 UTC
So let me get this right a member of the pro-AFK-miner crew wants other AFK miners to stand up for AFK mining but doesn't realize they cannot hear his plea because they are AFK.

This post was loving crafted by a member of the Official GoonWaffe recruitment team. Improve the forums, support this idea: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&find=unread&t=345133
Kainotomiu Ronuken
koahisquad
#53 - 2012-11-13 22:29:11 UTC
La Nariz wrote:
So let me get this right a member of the pro-AFK-miner crew wants other AFK miners to stand up for AFK mining but doesn't realize they cannot hear his plea because they are AFK.

Exactly!
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
#54 - 2012-11-13 23:32:52 UTC
If a man used local in a solar system populated solely by AFK miners. Would there be any text in local?

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

New Player FAQ

Feyd's Survival Pack
Kainotomiu Ronuken
koahisquad
#55 - 2012-11-13 23:36:12 UTC
Jonah Gravenstein wrote:
If a man used local in a solar system populated solely by AFK miners. Would there be any text in local?

Yeah, 'cause of logs and ****. But nobody except him and maybe the GMs would read it.
Nathalie LaPorte
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#56 - 2012-11-14 00:37:20 UTC
I started reading the OP expecting to be crying tears of laughter by the end. Instead, I was crying tears of joy. Torvin attempted to depict an Orwellian nightmare but forgot to read 1984 first to give his setting even the most vague resemblance; he instead painted a beautiful picture, where the forces of nullsec and highsec came together to destroy the bot-afk menace.

Here's a helpful guide for next time, Torvin:

1984: Freedom of expression gone, information not available, language altered to remove accuracy, innocents made to suffer.


Your picture of paradise: Freedom of expression fine, information fine, language not altered, criminals made to suffer.
Boomhaur
#57 - 2012-11-14 00:55:37 UTC
Mallak Azaria wrote:
Torvin Yulus wrote:
Mallak Azaria wrote:
That was a bad post. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself & whoever taught you English should also be ashamed.


oh come at me evil goonie

i won't let you oppress our comrades any longer. the proveldteriat revolution is at hand.


You're quite welcome to rally the people of highsec together & remove us from our space. Oh that's right, most of them are AFK.


I join the cause to stop the Goons, right after I am done watching Hero's on netflix. May take awhile I am not done with the series yet, and mabey watch all of smallvile when I am done after that. So don't wait up this may take awhile. Think I train up mining barges, mind as well afk mine while on netflix right?

Welcome to Eve. Everyone here is an Evil Sick Sadistic Bastard who is out to get you. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either trying to scam you or use you.
turmajin
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#58 - 2012-11-14 02:02:35 UTC  |  Edited by: turmajin
The simple answer is DONT AFK MINE anywhere.And if a goon shows up or something suspious then, dock,get in a desie and pod the bugger.With the new bounty system comming into the game i expect their will be substanial bounties on Goons ,from many high,low and null players and corps .They have after all P&$£&D,quite a few people off over the years ,with their actions.And who knows perhaps the bounties will offset the loss of a dessie ,then you mission / rat and rebuild your rep with CONCORD,Quite simply really
Lolar55
Banana Toaster
#59 - 2012-11-14 02:54:48 UTC
What is this I don't even...Ugh
TheTrue Acolyte
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#60 - 2012-11-14 02:56:11 UTC
"I have a problem," said Anslo, " and I need your help."

Amused at the prospect of the founder of the Provelditariatiuum coming to me for help, I replied "Sure. What help can I offer?"

"One of my members has gone bat-crap crazy; after posting some sort of 'thing' on the forums, he's currently sitting on top of the station at Jita 4-4 with his underpants on his head, shouting "GoongoongoonPERMITSgoongoonbadwannacookieGOON!" over and over. To be honest, he's become an embarassment."

"You don't need my help...just go bump him off."

And thus did Anslo realize the error of his ways, and start bumping others' ships in order to try to effect a positive change in the playstyle of others.

It's coming! Be warned!

...

Oh, wait. Already happened. Never mind.

The way and the life of HiSec. Heed the Code and achieve everlasting mining cycles:

http://www.minerbumping.com