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101 ways to poach eggs.

Author
Sir SmokesABunch
Trust Is Earned
#1 - 2012-10-19 17:18:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Sir SmokesABunch
So, I been sitting on my couch recollecting my life. I feel tired, my urge to sell pg4's has fled, and I'm feeling empty. Jita used to be a place of wonder...now its just monotony...Am i gonna be able to pay for lil' Jimmy's frentix addiction? he gets all freaky and stuff.
I tried to make friends. I have contacts, maybe a few bosom-chums. Naomi gives me sex when i need some action, sometimes Chuck joins in, but I'm not here to talk about that.
I'd seen a lot of combat before the rr days on my combat clone persona....and a lot after. It was an experience. I found myself planet-side lots, I'm mass-producing 14 of the 15 p1 materials. The quartermaster requires my attention and i get screamed at a lot. Do I like being the submisive type? I guess as long as it gets me what i want.
I love staring at wolf-rayett stars...Do i feel the pull of a blackhole when i come close to the event horizon? I joked that I travelled more by wormhole now, but its no joke.
I met a guy, he had a way of moving around New Eden. This isnt about intelligence, its visceral. Instinct...you know? As i found myself with him, I got more and more...i dont quite know. Definately i had less anxiety, and i was feeling nerfin' good. I was drinking fruit smoothies a lot. I threw 4 oranges, a pear and a banna in the blender, it was thick but yummy....and full of simple sugars for that positive rush of energy.
Off the stimulants, i relized how wrong I lived my life. I went to my birthplace in some backwater minmatar system and bought some books from some jerk who was charging 156% of the regional average.....on average.
I couldnt fly anything....I'm a friggin accountant, and escrow trader. Thats my existence...maybe? I needed to understand the capacitor of my ship more..i needed MORE POWER!!! I had an aversion to hurting people..I thought commerce would bring me prosperity....maybe noteriety. I bought a destroyer book and I always liked artillery.....those things are phalic symbols, I dont care what anyone says. I just read and slept and thought about my future.
I wanted to get back into trading...but it hurt my mind. Not real pain, just apprehension.....maybe some depression? I thought about my old platinum and chromium moon and i cried a little. Fullerite was satisfying...i just had to take time from learning how to overheat my guns and plasma physics for the DED locations...my old moon harvesters didnt talk back, or cause me near as much grief. Wetware mainframes think like us.....or so they say. Just a google times faster i suppose.
I have some isk..i never had a problem making isk, right from a newborn pup. I miss the old times, but i have hope for the future. Thats important someone told me. I wanted to buy a ship....a new shipment of thrashers had come in. They were shiny and I wondered how I could make a difference. The feeling i had talked about earlier, I had worked out. It was suppressed anger...but muted and fuzzy.
I'm gonna sell more implants and renew my vigour. Had my instinct brought me here? I ate some long limbed roes and just remembered to upgrade my clone. If i lose this body, I wont have to shave for a few days. Gotta love that smoothness. New-born clone.
My friends kill miners in hi-sec...it looks great on them, but veldspar prices have skyrocketed and i fear for our economy. I need to take more grass-roots action. I calibrated my thrasher to 145 dps and thought about my options.
I flew through space a nobody, a loner. Why? Then i saw redemption, and possibly increase hardwiring sales. It was a shiny pod, he was a yellow guy, so his hands werent clean. I watched the republic fleet emp round pierce the capsule in amazement and horror. His shredded burned corpse did a last wiggle and i guess he woke up elsewhere, with a smooth face. I envied the guy....until i realized concord wasnt with me anymore.
I never put that into the equation, they should be thanking me. I got away, in my pod. My victim had no implants....darn it. Now i get a transmission every time i leave my apartment and go out into space. I'm a criminal....a murderer. But at least i have a friend or 2. Holey always wants to talk about feelings', he's good at that and i envy him. I'm trying my hardest to make New Eden thrive. I dont care the cost to myself. I'm a global criminal....I accept the things I cannot change (with a dose of that archaic stuff valium).
I've seen others do what i do, but they're doing it for the thrill. I'm gonna continue on my course...maybe go look at my fave wolf rayyet star...if i spelled that wrong i dont care. I am no stellar cartographer, just a trader gone postal.


http://poachers.mindflood.org/

JESUS! Had days like this. -Kane Robocop 2

Lady Ayeipsia
BlueWaffe
#2 - 2012-10-19 17:35:14 UTC
Trader gone emo.

I meani get the whole stream of conscious, but this us more of a leaky faucet. It just doesn't move me or compell me to care about the characters. Where's the anger, the rage, the fury? I half expected some lamw emo comment about the futility if it all while the main character cut himself, and I was hopping the cut was down, not across.

We get it, you got bored and popped a pod. Um... How about a real story. At least tell me more about Naomi. That I can fake an interest in.
Sir SmokesABunch
Trust Is Earned
#3 - 2012-10-19 17:54:43 UTC  |  Edited by: Sir SmokesABunch
Emo? Im the calmest person you'll ever meet. I smell a victim.
Theres lots of free websites where u can watch sex action.

JESUS! Had days like this. -Kane Robocop 2

Lady Ayeipsia
BlueWaffe
#4 - 2012-10-19 18:15:18 UTC
Sir SmokesABunch wrote:
6000 character limit. depth? You're looking for **** obviously. Go get a bf or something
Theres lots of free websites where u can watch sex action.


e. e. cummings managed to get more depth in 11 letters with one poem. If you can't manage it in 6000, skip literature as a career path. Also, if you can't take criticism, seek an alternate path. Writing is not for you.

Look, I understand you tried. It's not the worst read, but postal? Postal implies anger, rage, resentment, or other heavy emotions. Your character sounded bored that's about it. You mention these random people, and yet... Nothing. Look, if you put a gun on the wall in act one, by the end of the play it had better go off. You put a lot if stuff out there and it just doesn't go off. So really, I know about the free stuff on the web. Heck, ask anyone in marketing and they will tell you that stuff sells. And well, your story needs something to make it sell. So really sorry if you dislike my criticism but this was not a compelling piece of fiction.
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#5 - 2012-10-19 18:26:18 UTC
Sounds like the youtube monologue of a 11yo Emo fat kid.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?

CorInaXeraL
The Dresdeneers
#6 - 2012-10-19 19:09:27 UTC
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
Sounds like the youtube monologue of a 11yo Emo fat kid.



Leave Sir SmokesABunch alone!
Samwise Everquest
Plus 10 NV
#7 - 2012-10-19 20:12:58 UTC
Jesus man, ever hear of paragraphs?

Pras Phil.

Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#8 - 2012-10-20 03:18:30 UTC
Threads like this are the reason I have to wear this monocle Cry

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny

Alice Saki
Nocturnal Romance
Cynosural Field Theory.
#9 - 2012-10-20 07:02:03 UTC
I just don't know.. you made me head mush....

FREEZE! Drop the LIKES AND WALK AWAY! - Currenly rebuilding gaming machine, I will Return.

Elias Greyhand
#10 - 2012-10-20 08:00:05 UTC
I got nothin' here.

"That which is done cannot be undone. But it can be avenged."

Sajun Benza
Lost in the Wasteland
#11 - 2012-10-20 19:26:19 UTC
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

criticism is one thing, not getting it played out how you wanted it is another...

there was a lot of anger in it, maybe too much, where? look for yourself, or maybe stare in the mirror
Sir SmokesABunch
Trust Is Earned
#12 - 2012-10-30 16:55:01 UTC
Sajun Benza wrote:
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

criticism is one thing, not getting it played out how you wanted it is another...

there was a lot of anger in it, maybe too much, where? look for yourself, or maybe stare in the mirror



just creative writing...no need to have a tizzy

JESUS! Had days like this. -Kane Robocop 2

Sir SmokesABunch
Trust Is Earned
#13 - 2012-10-30 17:33:42 UTC
Ive killed serveral billions worth of hardwirings. I'm a Eve commerce hero Cool

I'll link the good ones. Be patient out on business.

JESUS! Had days like this. -Kane Robocop 2

Kalel Nimrott
Caldari Provisions
#14 - 2012-10-30 18:18:41 UTC
I want hardwires from you at 95% disscount. Deal?

Bob Artis, you will be missed.

O7

Sir SmokesABunch
Trust Is Earned
#15 - 2012-10-31 00:37:15 UTC
I sell the cheapest hardwirings in eve....when u buy the lowest price, its either me or one of my alts. Buy stuff today, and watch out for my thrasher ffs!

JESUS! Had days like this. -Kane Robocop 2

Lord breathenstein
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#16 - 2012-11-02 17:04:38 UTC
CorInaXeraL wrote:
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
Sounds like the youtube monologue of a 11yo Emo fat kid.



Leave Sir SmokesABunch alone!


Enough about goons again!
Yuri Wayfare
Suddenly Ninjas
Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
#17 - 2012-11-02 21:32:56 UTC
CorInaXeraL wrote:
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:
Sounds like the youtube monologue of a 11yo Emo fat kid.



Leave Sir SmokesABunch alone!


Link didn't work for me so I did a google search on the URL instead.

It retuned no pages but suggested this Google ad:

http://www.christianprayercenter.com/

I'm pretty sure I just got trolled.



Oh, and OP: your writing is decent, but a bit overwrought. I think it would have been much stronger without everything that came after "why dont they call that universal?" Didn't care for the title either. Strong opening though. Liked that enough to make me read the whole thing, which is something. Soldier on.

"Suddenly, trash pickers! HUNDREDS of winos going through your recyclables." -Piugattuk

Be careful what you wish for.

Sir SmokesABunch
Trust Is Earned
#18 - 2012-11-08 13:38:32 UTC
OK. My writing needs work but my pod killing certainly doesn't. Check My L1TL3 Pwny's kill board. And my escrow trade is going strong. I even downgraded jimmy to crash ( like methadone for heroin junkies). He's working through it. Thanks for your comments.

JESUS! Had days like this. -Kane Robocop 2

Sir SmokesABunch
Trust Is Earned
#19 - 2012-11-20 13:49:36 UTC  |  Edited by: Sir SmokesABunch
5 billion isk re-appropriated this month. Check my kill board. Implant sales are booming...I wonder why? Blink

JESUS! Had days like this. -Kane Robocop 2

Elias Greyhand
#20 - 2012-11-20 14:17:46 UTC
I don't even...

"That which is done cannot be undone. But it can be avenged."

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