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Forums Too Depressing?/Cheer me up with your funny joke/story

First post
Author
1-Up Mushroom
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#1 - 2011-10-15 00:41:40 UTC
Does anyone else find the forums depressing? I mean it's like you come here and read about all the bad things happening in eve Straight It makes me sad to read all of this...

I would like to see a forum section devoted to jokes and funny stuff you have to share

Infact, might as well make this thread that one for now...

If you have a funny joke or story to tell, or just anything that's funny, please share it with me in here, cheer me up plox, space forums are too depressingBig smile
5 Senses In A Person... 4 Seasons In A Year... 3 Colors In A Stoplight... 2 Poles On The Earth... ONLY 1-UP MUSHROOM!!!  If You Like My Sig, Like Me!   Remember EVE is EVErything!
non judgement
Without Fear
Flying Burning Ships Alliance
#2 - 2011-10-15 00:46:10 UTC  |  Edited by: non judgement
Two gold fish were in a tank. One says to the other "You man the guns, i'll fly us over to the gate".

it was a tanked ship, get it?
Cause people think "Oooh the fish are in a fish tank, naturally", but NO!! It's actually a battleship with an awesome tank.
I love jokes and I always feel that explaining them afterwards makes them heaps funnier.
Flyinghotpocket
Amarrian Vengeance
Team Amarrica
#3 - 2011-10-15 00:47:20 UTC
A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.

Amarr Militia Representative - A jar of nitro

CATPAIN KIRK
State War Academy
Caldari State
#4 - 2011-10-15 00:49:21 UTC  |  Edited by: CATPAIN KIRK
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Grey Stormshadow
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#5 - 2011-10-15 00:50:23 UTC
[img]http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/151/976/131126996868.jpg?1311286779[/img]

Get classic forum style - custom videos to captains quarters screen

Play with the best - die like the rest

non judgement
Without Fear
Flying Burning Ships Alliance
#6 - 2011-10-15 00:51:59 UTC  |  Edited by: non judgement
Flyinghotpocket wrote:
A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.


Well I don't understand that one at all.. I guess you had to be there.
Headerman
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2011-10-15 00:54:51 UTC
non judgement wrote:
Flyinghotpocket wrote:
A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.


Well I don't understand that one at all.. I guess you had to be there.


Jaffa jokes. They are rather... funny

Australian Fanfest Event https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&find=unread&t=90062

Hecatonis
Imperial Shipment
Amarr Empire
#8 - 2011-10-15 00:59:46 UTC
what lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches - a nervous wreak

why don't blind people skydive - because it scares the hell out of their dogs

whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver - a bad golfer goes "wack DAMIT" a bad skydiver goes "DAMIT wack"

Grey Stormshadow
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2011-10-15 01:03:22 UTC
Q:How many My Little Ponies are needed to change the light bulb?
A: All of them. One will change the light bulb while the rest troll in forums.

Get classic forum style - custom videos to captains quarters screen

Play with the best - die like the rest

Mehrdad Kor-Azor
Doomheim
#10 - 2011-10-15 01:57:34 UTC
Foodpimp
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2011-10-15 02:02:54 UTC
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
Foodpimp
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#12 - 2011-10-15 02:03:55 UTC
So the course golf pro goes into the clubhouse bar.
Upon entering, he catches sight of one of his students: a pretty young blonde gal.
He sits down next to her and notices she is slightly distraught.
Pro: Everything OK?
Blonde: I was on the course, making a putt and got stung by a bee.
Pro: Ouch....where did that happen?
Blonde: Between the first and second hole.
The golf pro leans in and in a hushed voice states, "Between you and me, I think your stance was too wide."
Thorn Galen
Bene Gesserit ChapterHouse
Curatores Veritatis Alliance
#13 - 2011-10-15 05:15:04 UTC  |  Edited by: Thorn Galen
There was once an old Pirate Toon
(Allegedly he was a Goon)
He pew-pew'd some mice
And stole all their ice
And sold it at market for moons.

There once were some miners in Macs
Who could nary cope with attacks
From the loons of the Goons
Who suicided their toons
In the process of breaking their backs.

(Sung to the tune of Away in The Manger)
Play Eve full of danger
No safe spot to mine
The Goons are ass-ailing
Blue-ice miners, the swine.

They'll gank you and they'll spank you
and then take all your ice
'cause you highsec ice miners
are like scaredy 'fraid mice.

They'll stockpile all your isotopes
and then sell them all back
once the market is happy
and the prices are smack.


Too early for me, that's enough for now. May your eyes bleed through your teeth and may your rectum grow tastebuds.

Love
Thorn
Uninhabited
Aurora Borealis of Steamed Hams
#14 - 2011-10-15 05:39:24 UTC
3am and pouring with rain, in Geraldton, WA.
A man, say me, gets a knock on his door. FFFFF
Truding downstairs i hit the outside light and a man is standing there, alcohol on his breath.

"Hey man, i really need a push."
"No sorry cant help you." I mutter, groggy as.
Go back upstairs and the missus asked who it was, told her.
"You should help him, remember when we bla bla bla we need a push and that bla bla etc" FFFF
Head downstairs, grab my jacket, head outside into the dark.
"Where are ya mate? i cant see"

"Over here!" comes a voice
"Where??"
"Over here on the swing!"
Sofa Raddis
Gravity Waste Management
#15 - 2011-10-15 06:41:07 UTC
Only non-perv joke i know is kinda weak but here it goes.


A bear is taking a dump in the woods as a bunny comes hopping by....

"Do you have the problem with crap sticking to your fur?" the bear asks the bunny.

"uhm.... no" the bunny replies.

The bear then picks up the bunny and wipes himself with it.
Herping yourDerp
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#16 - 2011-10-15 07:05:46 UTC
ship spinning tuesday... rejoice!
Arakazzi
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#17 - 2011-10-15 08:01:22 UTC
Q: Why do people become accountants?
A: Because the don't have the charisma to become an undertaker. Straight
Alara IonStorm
#18 - 2011-10-15 09:12:59 UTC
There once was a guy from Nantucket...

This is where every Nantucket joke I have ever heard segways into something non-offensive.

I have never heard the original one that gets everyone so worked up. =/
Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2011-10-15 09:23:54 UTC
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=3680304

one picture could be more than thousands words. 6day old was i.
CCP Spitfire
C C P
C C P Alliance
#20 - 2011-10-15 09:25:24 UTC
Moved from "EVE General Discussion".

CCP Spitfire | Marketing & Sales Team @ccp_spitfire

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