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Miner Stories : How to Fit a Hulk
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Ivy Romanova
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#1 - 2012-08-28 15:11:37 UTC  |  Edited by: Ivy Romanova
Credit to A Mysterious Man
Sadly , he got his thread nerfed , but here it is for the public the enjoy anyway
**********
"Once upon a time there were three little miners. They ventured into the big wide world to earn their fortunes.

The First Little Miner went to Jita and fit his Hulk with Cargo Expanders.
This way, he could AFK mine with a minimum of effort and fuss. It left the miner plenty of freetime to daydream, jerk off, and watch Japanese Anime while earning ISK.

....Then along came the Big Bad Ganker in a Catalyst, saying "Little miner, little miner, I'm going to ******* do you in."
The first miner, predictably, was tabbed out and said nothing.
So the Ganker loaded and overheated and blew the Hulk in, and splattered the pod, too.

The Second Little Miner went to Jita, bought MLU's and a hauler.
This way, he could mine faster than anyone else - and become quite wealthy in no time. It was a bit more work, of course, but he kept himself entertained chatting in local with his neighbors.

...Then along came the Big Bad Ganker, in a Tornado, saying "Little miner, little miner, I'm going to ******* do you in."
The second miner, said "Not by the hair of my chinny, chin chin," aligns, and turned on his Small Booster II.
So the Ganker loaded and overheated and blew the Hulk in. The frightened miner flees in his pod, broke, but alive.

The Third Little Miner went to Jita and fit his Hulk with a DCII, MSE, Invulnerability Fields, and Shield Extender Rigs. Wisely, he sets his Hulk to orbit a nearby asteroid, and always kept an wary eye on his surroundings.

...Then along came the Big Bad Ganker, in a T2 Talos, saying "Little miner, little miner, I'm going to ******* do you in."
The Third miner chuckles to himself, overheats his Invulnerability Fields and aligns to the nearest station.
So the Ganker loaded, and overheated, and simply CANNOT blow the Hulk in.

Defeated,and concorded, the ganker slinks off in his pod, and the smart little Miner scoops the Talos wreckage and sells it for a tidy profit."

THE END
**********

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Jim Era
#2 - 2012-08-28 15:13:51 UTC  |  Edited by: Jim Era
fail op
Herr Wilkus is bad


Edit: I had to lol
double edit: not lol at the story, but lol that somebody actually thought the **** spewing from Herr should be read by more.

Wat™
Ivy Romanova
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#3 - 2012-08-28 15:15:54 UTC
Jim Era wrote:
fail op
Herr Wilkus is bad


Edit: I had to lol


well its still a fun little story lolol

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Muad 'dib
State War Academy
Caldari State
#4 - 2012-08-28 15:17:04 UTC
HULK MINE!

Cosmic signature detected. . . . http://i.imgur.com/Z7NfIS6.jpg I got 99 likes, and this post aint one.
Ivy Romanova
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#5 - 2012-08-28 15:18:32 UTC
Muad 'dib wrote:
HULK MINE!

signature fail

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highonpop
KarmaFleet
Goonswarm Federation
#6 - 2012-08-28 15:25:33 UTC
Why should a miner in highsec put effort and thought into what he is doing? Why should they have to risk anything?


Don't you understand how eve works? Max profit for minimum risk.

If someone else stops you from doing this, proceed to the nearest whine-like-a-baby-girl thread in GD and make your demands until CCP nerfs the Big Bad Gankers abilities, or gives you greater AFK mining abilities....

FC, what do?
Metal Icarus
Star Frontiers
Brotherhood of Spacers
#7 - 2012-08-28 15:26:04 UTC
Cool story bro!

/srs
Yokai Mitsuhide
Doomheim
#8 - 2012-08-28 15:27:16 UTC
I stopped reading after "credit to Herr Wilkus"
That is no way to start a post if you want people to continue to read it.
Kult Altol
The Safe Space
#9 - 2012-08-28 15:31:29 UTC
Man, title is so misleading. :(

[u]Can't wait untill when Eve online is Freemium.[/u] WiS only 10$, SP booster for one month 15$, DPS Boost 2$, EHP Boost 2$ Real money trading hub! Cosmeitic ship skins 15$ --> If you don't [u]pay **[/u]for a product, you ARE the [u]**product[/u].

Hypercake Mix
#10 - 2012-08-28 15:35:04 UTC
*reads post date*

Better late than never, eh?
Josef Djugashvilis
#11 - 2012-08-28 15:37:58 UTC
highonpop wrote:
Why should a miner in highsec put effort and thought into what he is doing? Why should they have to risk anything?


Don't you understand how eve works? Max profit for minimum risk.

If someone else stops you from doing this, proceed to the nearest whine-like-a-baby-girl thread in GD and make your demands until CCP nerfs the Big Bad Gankers abilities, or gives you greater AFK mining abilities....


Maximum profit for mininum risk?

I thought that was the credo of the hi-sec miner gankers, hence all the ganker tears of rage about how CCP is destroying Eve.

This is not a signature.
Alice Saki
Nocturnal Romance
Cynosural Field Theory.
#12 - 2012-08-28 15:46:23 UTC
Hehe that was entertaining ^_^

FREEZE! Drop the LIKES AND WALK AWAY! - Currenly rebuilding gaming machine, I will Return.
Ivy Romanova
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#13 - 2012-08-28 15:59:29 UTC
huh ? what did Herr Wilkus do?

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Virgil Travis
Non Constructive Self Management
#14 - 2012-08-28 16:24:38 UTC
Yokai Mitsuhide wrote:
I stopped reading after "credit to Herr Wilkus"
That is no way to start a post if you want people to continue to read it.


Likewise. I've read enough of his drivel on the forums.

Unified Church of the Unobligated - madness in the method Mamma didn't raise no victims.
Ivy Romanova
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#15 - 2012-08-28 17:10:22 UTC
Virgil Travis wrote:
Yokai Mitsuhide wrote:
I stopped reading after "credit to Herr Wilkus"
That is no way to start a post if you want people to continue to read it.


Likewise. I've read enough of his drivel on the forums.

What did he do??
did he spit in your milkshakes or kicked you in your jimmies or what

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highonpop
KarmaFleet
Goonswarm Federation
#16 - 2012-08-28 17:15:14 UTC  |  Edited by: highonpop
Josef Djugashvilis wrote:
highonpop wrote:
Why should a miner in highsec put effort and thought into what he is doing? Why should they have to risk anything?


Don't you understand how eve works? Max profit for minimum risk.

If someone else stops you from doing this, proceed to the nearest whine-like-a-baby-girl thread in GD and make your demands until CCP nerfs the Big Bad Gankers abilities, or gives you greater AFK mining abilities....


Maximum profit for mininum risk?

I thought that was the credo of the hi-sec miner gankers, hence all the ganker tears of rage about how CCP is destroying Eve.




soooo going into a situation knowing you are going to die is not a risk?


riiiiiite....

ganker gets loot.

ganker looses gankin ship
ganker looses sec status

FC, what do?
Jim Era
#17 - 2012-08-28 17:24:52 UTC
Ivy Romanova wrote:
huh ? what did Herr Wilkus do?


hes just one of the forum trolls and generally terrible person sort of like
nickyo, james 315, anyone with forum in their name, tom gerard and more.

(tom gerard's threads have actually been enjoyable recently)

Wat™