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What Captains Quarters really need
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Terranid Meester
Tactical Assault and Recon Unit
#1 - 2012-08-14 21:13:13 UTC  |  Edited by: Terranid Meester
How can Captains Quarters be made a more enjoyable experience I found myself wondering a few seconds
ago, apart from some kind of meaningful interaction with the rest of Eve Online.

1. Pet fedos - I havn't cleaned my quarters in some time [like ever] and generally the mould from the
abandoned empty quafe bottles and boxes of protein delicacies have started to spill out. Fedos are basically
moving trash cans plus you can pet them. You might be able to eat them too, which might be useful because....
I HAVE NO FOOD AND IM LOCKED IN, IM GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH!!!!

2. MIni-mindclash table - Bereft of human companionship and hallucinating from lack of food, thus making me believe
in people who aren't there I need some way to entertain myself and my invisible friends. Mindclash in the room will enable
me many hours of meaningful games against myself. Cheating? Everyone wins!

3. A bed to sleep in - I cannot sleep in my bed. It must be a holographic bed as I cannot sleep in it. Must I always use the sofa and/or floor? I long for a fluffy pillow and pj's.

4. Secret bathroom - Like Commander Shepard, I must have a secret bathroom in here somewhere unless its on the
other side of that locked door. Guess I must push all of the wall to find the panel that slides open the door. Good thing
I don't have anything to eat and/or drink. being an immortal demi-god helps too I suppose.

5. Paint can - My store clothes aren't enough and I don't have enough aurum for a pair of stilletos. Can I buy a
can of paint? Im tired of the decor, mocking me. Familiarity breeds contempt.

6 Key to the door - LET ME OUT!
Forum Harlot
Doomheim
#2 - 2012-08-14 21:14:59 UTC
0. A door that opens.
Medarr
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#3 - 2012-08-14 21:27:17 UTC
Terranid Meester wrote:
How can Captains Quarters be made a more enjoyable experience I found myself wondering a few seconds
ago, apart from some kind of meaningful interaction with the rest of Eve Online.

1. Pet fedos - I havn't cleaned my quarters in some time [like ever] and generally the mould from the
abandoned empty quafe bottles and boxes of protein delicacies have started to spill out. Fedos are basically
moving trash cans plus you can pet them. You might be able to eat them too, which might be useful because....
I HAVE NO FOOD AND IM LOCKED IN, IM GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH!!!!

2. MIni-mindclash table - Bereft of human companionship and hallucinating from lack of food, thus making me believe
in people who aren't there I need some way to entertain myself and my invisible friends. Mindclash in the room will enable
me many hours of meaningful games against myself. Cheating? Everyone wins!

3. A bed to sleep in - I cannot sleep in my bed. It must be a holographic bed as I cannot sleep in it. Must I always use the sofa and/or floor? I long for a fluffy pillow and pj's.

4. Secret bathroom - Like Commander Shepard, I must have a secret bathroom in here somewhere unless its on the
other side of that locked door. Guess I must push all of the wall to find the panel that slides open the door. Good thing
I don't have anything to eat and/or drink. being an immortal demi-god helps too I suppose.

5. Paint can - My store clothes aren't enough and I don't have enough aurum for a pair of stilletos. Can I buy a
can of paint? Im tired of the decor, mocking me. Familiarity breeds contempt.

6 Key to the door - LET ME OUT!



Cheers you just made me spit my coffee out laughing...
Jame Jarl Retief
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#4 - 2012-08-14 21:30:37 UTC  |  Edited by: Jame Jarl Retief
Terranid Meester wrote:
4. Secret bathroom - Like Commander Shepard, I must have a secret bathroom in here somewhere unless its on the
other side of that locked door.


Just do it over the railing at the observation deck. It's how all cool capsuleers do it. Blink

If you listen closely, you can hear Amarr "ooooooh" chanting turn to "AAAAAARRRGH!" whenever someone does it.
Kheeria
Imperial Shipment
Amarr Empire
#5 - 2012-08-14 21:36:04 UTC
A window I can watch wtf is outside the station.
Vincent Athena
Photosynth
#6 - 2012-08-14 21:36:55 UTC
I find dropping the Fedo's over the side makes interesting splat art.

Know a Frozen fan? Check this out

Frozen fanfiction
Medarr
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#7 - 2012-08-14 21:37:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Medarr
Jame Jarl Retief wrote:
Terranid Meester wrote:
4. Secret bathroom - Like Commander Shepard, I must have a secret bathroom in here somewhere unless its on the
other side of that locked door.


Just do it over the railing at the observation deck. It's how all cool capsuleers do it. Blink

If you listen closely, you can hear Amarr "ooooooh" chanting turn to "AAAAAARRRGH!" whenever someone does it.


OMG... Haahaahahaahaaha

This thread is going places
Terranid Meester
Tactical Assault and Recon Unit
#8 - 2012-08-14 21:39:09 UTC
Jame Jarl Retief wrote:
Terranid Meester wrote:
4. Secret bathroom - Like Commander Shepard, I must have a secret bathroom in here somewhere unless its on the
other side of that locked door.


Just do it over the railing at the observation deck. It's how all cool capsuleers do it. Blink

If you listen closely, you can hear Amarr "ooooooh" chanting turn to "AAAAAARRRGH!" whenever someone does it.



Now thats a good lateral thinking. Wonder if theres a room below my balcony?
Gogela
Epic Ganking Time
CODE.
#9 - 2012-08-14 21:55:28 UTC
7. A closet to store exotic dancers in.

Signatures should be used responsibly...
Jim Era
#10 - 2012-08-14 21:58:12 UTC  |  Edited by: Jim Era
8. ME
the ultimate experience of luxury in the new designer quarters all facilitate a real-life-like clone of myself(without the brains of course)

Wat™
Terranid Meester
Tactical Assault and Recon Unit
#11 - 2012-08-14 22:00:37 UTC  |  Edited by: Terranid Meester
9. Being able to stand next to my pod - I can see my capsule from here. And when I press this
button I am in it. Yet I do not remember getting into it? I can't stand next to it to clean it. There
do not seem to be any facilties to wash all the pod goo off me. There a shower down there?
Some kind of force field stopping me from going down those steps? Have I been doing boosters again?
Medarr
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2012-08-14 22:21:23 UTC  |  Edited by: Medarr
Maybe we have never left our pods and the room is nothing more then a construct....

Now if only I could remember which pill I took...

Whats that black heli doing....

[ Carrier signal lost ]
Vincent Athena
Photosynth
#13 - 2012-08-14 22:23:24 UTC
Terranid Meester wrote:
9. Being able to stand next to my pod - I can see my capsule from here. And when I press this
button I am in it. Yet I do not remember getting into it? I can't stand next to it to clean it. There
do not seem to be any facilties to wash all the pod goo off me. There a shower down there?
Some kind of force field stopping me from going down those steps? Have I been doing boosters again?

At least one of those can be answered: The shower is built into the pod, along with the auto-dresser. Its all done while your ship is being towed in.

I always thought the pod should be where the "undock" button is now, and the pod itself should be the "undock" button. After docking you should appear right at the pod door, then take a couple of steps forward. When you select "undock" you should walk over to and stand in the pod (unless you are too far away to get there before the game is ready to place you in space, in which case you are shown walking to the pod as far as there is time for).

Bonus points for showing the nanites constructing and de-constructing your clothes.

Its all eye candy fluff, but then so are engine trails and missile launchers.

Know a Frozen fan? Check this out

Frozen fanfiction
Lilliana Stelles
#14 - 2012-08-14 22:24:48 UTC
This

Not a forum alt. 
Tippia
Sunshine and Lollipops
#15 - 2012-08-14 22:32:40 UTC
A purpose.
Cadfael Maelgwyn
Doomheim
#16 - 2012-08-14 22:35:37 UTC
Lilliana Stelles wrote:
This

dafuq
Sarmea Moon
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#17 - 2012-08-14 22:35:56 UTC
Stripper pole for the exotic dancers I've been keeping in my hold.

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse [lady of commercial virtue]. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.- James Nicoll
Bootleg Jack
ACME Mineral and Gas
#18 - 2012-08-14 22:37:19 UTC
Forum Harlot wrote:
0. A door that opens.


lol, seriously, has it been a year yet? Big smile

I'm an American, English is my second language...
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2012-08-15 00:49:01 UTC
I have a few aurums... I want feety pajamas! Big smile

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Jimmy Gunsmythe
Sebiestor Tribe
#20 - 2012-08-15 00:50:15 UTC
Code Deletion from the servers would be a start.

John Hancock
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