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Slavery is a GREEN business with a very low carbon footprint.
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Tom Gerard
Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
#1 - 2012-08-02 08:25:30 UTC  |  Edited by: Tom Gerard
So why are the Minmatar represented by rust and unbridled rage?

The answer is easy, they hate the environment. The Minmatar follow the path of the every morally corrupt and emotionally bankrupt mega-corporation true blooded liberal heroes have ever slain.

How do we stop the Minmatar?

Well IRL the best way to destroy morally corrupt mega-corporations is to get a degree in LIBERAL ARTS, then design cute photo frames on your Macintosh. After a few years civilization collapses and you can trek around the capitalist wasteland with a shotgun sorting out cannibals from honest Americans while gunning-down those who try to rebuild the old money driven world. After a few years of weeding out the old guard, you can put your honest Americans to work by creating GREEN jobs like plowing fields, getting whipped, and making tofu.

In EVE the process would have to be a little different, first of all leaving the station is damn near declaring war on a village of starving children, so we'll do as little of that as possible. The trick is to conceal your political motivations at the start, colonize and control planets within strictly controlled Hi-Sec and wait for the GREEN microbes to roll in. Now you may be thinking, sure I am carbon neutral but how do I destroy those Mega-Corporations? The answer is simple... slavery.

Since we don't want to directly involve ourselves in the despicable business of warfare, and prefer our green fields of microbes, we can locate and procure local Minmatar peoples, convince them with whips and chain collars to obtain and pilot star vessels for the greater ecological good. We obviously want to attack those who are doing the greatest damage to our environmental system... the miners.

Miners are the most vicious hateful people you've ever met, they literally tear the heart out of living, breathing asteroids and complain about how BORING it is. Move your contracted labor force (slaves) to the target system and sacrifice them for the greater glory of GREEN.

DISCLAIMER This is my world view I ACTUALLY believe everything I wrote, there is no blood in my veins only an endless font of liberal idealism and love. To this end I am LITERALLY Al Gore.

Now with 100% less Troll.
Jafit
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#2 - 2012-08-02 08:35:55 UTC
Cool story bro.
Shameless Avenger
Can Preachers of Kador
#3 - 2012-08-02 08:37:17 UTC
tl;dr

"This is the Ninja. He will scan you down; he will salvage your wrecks and there shall be no aggro"
St Mio
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#4 - 2012-08-02 08:39:26 UTC
Posting in a Tom Gerard thread!
Samoth Egnoled
Caldari Provisions
#5 - 2012-08-02 08:44:08 UTC
Tom Gerard wrote:
Miners are the most vicious hateful people you've ever met, they literally tear the heart out of living, breathing asteroids and complain about how BORING it is.



I LoL'd

Dirty filthy miners leaving their droppings in cans, like collecting asteroid hearts for trophies
Grumpymunky
Monkey Steals The Peach
#6 - 2012-08-02 08:46:45 UTC
Shameless Avenger wrote:
tl;dr
Nerf Minmatar... or Americans... or something. I didn't quite understand it myself, but it was very interesting.

Post with your monkey.

Thread locked due to lack of pants.
namron 7
Doomheim
#7 - 2012-08-02 10:38:28 UTC
(Karn Dulake stand in)


So what you are saying is death to America or did i really miss the point

Thanks for the help
Skippermonkey
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#8 - 2012-08-02 11:16:55 UTC
Can i vote for Boris Johnson instead?

COME AT ME BRO

I'LL JUST BE DOCKED IN THIS STATION
Homo Jesus
The LGBT Last Supper
#9 - 2012-08-02 11:32:57 UTC
Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green day.
Lyskal Oskold
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
#10 - 2012-08-02 11:50:21 UTC
Shameless Avenger wrote:
tl;dr


Something about macs.

Amarr must be hipsters.

"Love is just a chemical, no matter the origin. We give it meaning by choice." - Eleanor Lamb
Hiyora Akachi
Blood Alcohol Content
T O P S H E L F
#11 - 2012-08-02 12:44:32 UTC
Shameless Avenger wrote:
tl;dr


I think this was a Miner hate thread....not sure....also a bit of Death to America and capitalism....
Sarik Olecar
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2012-08-02 12:51:46 UTC
Tom Gerad is like the bond between atoms. You never appreciate them until they're gone and you're just an ethereal mass of nothing, wiling to give anything to read on more quality poast...

Hows my posting? Call 1-800-747-7633 to leave feedback.
Virgil Travis
Non Constructive Self Management
#13 - 2012-08-02 14:09:40 UTC
Tom Gerard just suddenly'd my whole afternoon

Unified Church of the Unobligated - madness in the method Mamma didn't raise no victims.
Half-Hearted Warrior
State War Academy
Caldari State
#14 - 2012-08-02 14:20:24 UTC
So where do the Amarr come into this? Their obsession with religion undoubtedly damages the minds of those around them, which surly must have a negative effect on the environment.
Metal Icarus
Star Frontiers
Brotherhood of Spacers
#15 - 2012-08-02 14:26:21 UTC
Did he just justify slavery to the Caldari? What, indentured servants not good enough for you?
Kult Altol
The Safe Space
#16 - 2012-08-02 14:28:09 UTC
wall o text

1/10

[u]Can't wait untill when Eve online is Freemium.[/u] WiS only 10$, SP booster for one month 15$, DPS Boost 2$, EHP Boost 2$ Real money trading hub! Cosmeitic ship skins 15$ --> If you don't [u]pay **[/u]for a product, you ARE the [u]**product[/u].