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EVE Jokes

First post
Author
Arcturus Archangel
Archbreed
#41 - 2012-06-28 06:23:00 UTC
Yo momma so fat, she cant fit inside a freighter.

[Insert witty quote here]

Ila Dace
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#42 - 2012-06-28 06:28:01 UTC
There once was a miner from Azer
Who had not the grid for a laser
His drones pulled the Veld
While his shields barely held
And Goons took him out with a razor

If House played Eve: http://i.imgur.com/y7ShT.jpg

But in purple, I'm stunning!

Sekket
Perkone
Caldari State
#43 - 2012-06-28 06:28:39 UTC
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
There's no sea in spaCe


Oh the irony.
  • CQ isn't a refuge, it's a cage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iu4iekX3WE

Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
The Initiative.
#44 - 2012-06-28 06:37:03 UTC
A lanky Caldari walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "why the long face?"

The Caldari, incapable of understanding the concept of humor,
draws his sidearm and shoots the bartender in the face.

(not taking credit for it...)

TunDraGon is recruiting! "Also, your boobs [:o] "   CCP Eterne, 2012 "When in doubt...make a diȼk joke." Robin Williams - RIP

Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
The Initiative.
#45 - 2012-06-28 06:38:14 UTC
Ila Dace wrote:
There once was a miner from Azer
Who had not the grid for a laser
His drones pulled the Veld
While his shields barely held
And Goons took him out with a razor


wonderful

TunDraGon is recruiting! "Also, your boobs [:o] "   CCP Eterne, 2012 "When in doubt...make a diȼk joke." Robin Williams - RIP

Chokichi Ozuwara
Perkone
Caldari State
#46 - 2012-06-28 07:36:35 UTC
Yo Momma so fat, every time she logs on, she triggers time dilation.



Yo Momma so fat, first time she saw a Providence, she called it a Twinkie.

Tears will be shed and pants will need to be changed all round.

Joelleaveek
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#47 - 2012-06-28 07:55:27 UTC
A horse and a pirate walk into a bar..... i forget the rest but your mother is a whore.
Cloned S0ul
POCKOCMOC Inc.
#48 - 2012-06-28 10:29:04 UTC  |  Edited by: Cloned S0ul
Fang Khan: Davion, what's the difference between a pulse laser and a beam laser?
Davion Vrynn: Pulse laser goes "pew, pew, pew" and beam laser goes "zzzzzttttttttt"
Fang Khan: Thank you for the kindergarten version of that explanat...

Source EvE Bash
TheBreadMuncher
Protus Correction Facility Inc.
#49 - 2012-06-28 10:49:51 UTC
A new ISD walks into the forums.

All hell breaks loose.

"We will create the introduction thread if that is requested by the community. Also, we will have an ISD Seminar about the CCL team in the coming weeks in which you can ask your questions about the CCL team and provide some constructive feedback to us." - Countless pages of locked threads and numerous permabanned accounts later, change is coming.

Barrak
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#50 - 2012-06-28 10:50:10 UTC
Yo mamma's so fat...... but it's okay, she's got plenty of space for fuel.
Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
#51 - 2012-06-28 10:55:10 UTC
ISD Dorrim Barstorlode wrote:
What do you call a null sec fleet in a wormhole?

Trapped.

Hahahahaha!







Can I have my money now?

I wrote some true EVE stories! And no, they're not of the generic "my 0.0 alliance had lots of 0.0 fleets and took a lot of 0.0 space" sort. Check them out here:

https://truestories.eveonline.com/users/2074-destiny-corrupted

Lilliana Stelles
#52 - 2012-06-28 10:59:20 UTC
How do you double the value of minmatar capital?

Fill the fuel bay.

Not a forum alt. 

pussnheels
Viziam
#53 - 2012-06-28 12:02:26 UTC
Did you know that all minmatar pilots are all jediknights
They use ductape as their force
For it has a darkside and asticky side

I do not agree with what you are saying , but i will defend to the death your right to say it...... Voltaire

Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
#54 - 2012-06-28 12:02:40 UTC
How do you seduce a Caldari woman?

Show her your stock portfolio, complete with a substantial and diversified set of assets.



How do you seduce a Gallente woman?

Tell her you are Caldari but wish to 'join' her after all, in a way that is frowned upon by the Caldari state standards for intercourse.


How do you seduce an Amarr woman?

Offer to be on the bottom.


How do you seduce a Minmatar woman?

Find one in an unhappy marriage and offer to 'free her' from it.

In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse.

Alissa Solette
Emergency Exit
#55 - 2012-06-28 12:11:21 UTC
Joe Hinken wrote:
So the captain got on the intercom and notified the station to prepare for anemergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the ship to just over stall speed.


Space ships can't stall!

I request that your pilots licence be rescinded this instant!
Toshiroma McDiesel
Lupus Draconis
The Skeleton Crew
#56 - 2012-06-28 13:38:00 UTC
Yo momma so fat, she plugs black holes.

I"m not really the Evil One, I'm just his answering service.

Veronica Kerrigan
Hand Of Midas
My Other Laboratory is a Distillery
#57 - 2012-06-28 14:28:58 UTC
How much EHP does an avatar have? Depends on how many ragnaroks are on field.
Lin-Young Borovskova
Doomheim
#58 - 2012-06-28 14:39:34 UTC
So far in this thread there's nothing really funny as Eve joke.

There's the "door" and the "window", "lag" too, but no one can make a good joke about these Evil

brb

Tao Arnst
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#59 - 2012-06-28 14:39:56 UTC
Inferno

.....now thats the biggest joke....

Was the Title "Inferno" given to this release because its a Steaming Pile of S**t? Most people embrace GOOD change Parasites embrace BAD change ccp supports the degradation of society

pussnheels
Viziam
#60 - 2012-06-29 14:15:19 UTC
Did you know that caldari ships are made in italy and only have four control buttons

Button 1 mova da ship
Button 2 stoppa da ship
Button 3 fire da missiles
Button 4 boosta da shields

I do not agree with what you are saying , but i will defend to the death your right to say it...... Voltaire

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