Wormholes

Alrighty, I haven't been playing EVE much lately, so most of these stories will be old.

In any case, I was bored one day and none of my corpmates were online (this is how most of my good PvP stories start ). I decide I'm going to go wormhole diving, so I pop my alt into his arazu and my main into his abso and start throwing out probes. I eventually find an occupied wormhole, a C1 with one whole harbinger on scan as well as a batch of scan probes. Since there were no POS in the system, I figured he was probably at a safe and had a cloaky alt doing the probing. Even so, I decided to go looking. To my surprise, he was a few kilometers off of a planet and actively aligned towards the sun.

Since he was already aligned, I figured my chances of catching him were pretty low unless I did something sneaky, so I bookmarked the planet's warp-in, warped to the sun, warped back to the bookmark at 100km, bookmarked again, etc. until my alt's cloaked arazu was in point range. At that point, I jumped my main into the wormhole and warped to the sun at zero.

As my main was landing, I uncloaked the arazu and started trying to lock the harby who, predictably, warped out. I warped my alt to the sun at 70km in case the hostile warped in at 100km, but it turned out to be unnecessary - he landed 2km from my main's absolution.

In another episode of "Bored and Need Something to Do," I was again going wormhole diving when my alt spotted a hauler doing PI. I also discovered there was a POS in the system along with a few other active pilots. Since I didn't have a hauler of my own nearby to collect the loot and a T1 hauler kill isn't particularly impressive or lucrative, I decided to poke the hornet's nest and see what showed up.

I uncloaked the arazu and started lighting the hauler up with 2 blasters and 5 drones. When he got into structure, though, I shut the guns off and pulled back all but one drone, then sat back to wait. Sure enough, zealot and prophecy suddenly on scan. I popped the hauler, then started burning away with my alt's arazu. I jumped in my main and landed an absolution on both the prophecy and zealot while they were chasing my alt's arazu (which had them pointed). Net result: 1 dead badger mark II and zealot (the prophecy got away somehow, though I don't remember the circumstances; it may have been due to multiboxing).

The only other story that I recall off the top of my head happened more recently. I was boredly spinning my ship in station and trolling corpchat for something to do. Suddenly, one of my corpies says "I've got two tengus in a wormhole doing sites." After suppressing a "Will you have my babies?" remark, I ask for more info. He says they're about 20 jumps away and we probably won't get there in time; he also can't do anything about them himself since he's in a covops.

I immediately tell him to keep watch since I'm headed that way. I ask if anyone else is coming and get desultory groans about flying 20 jumps and likely getting blue-balled. After telling them I'm doing it anyway, a few more people start getting interested. Meanwhile, I'm on the way with my alt's arazu. At this point, I decide to pull out a ship I haven't used in a while and undock my machariel, since it will be able to get there fast with high DPS and a neut.

While we're traveling, our scout reports both tengus have pulled back to the POS and one of them reshipped into a falcon. Luckily, I carry an ECCM in my machariel's cargo hold, so I quickly docked up and refit, then continued on my way. At this point, our scout reports the falcon pilot reshipped back into the tengu and they're starting to run sites again.

I arrive at the lowsec system we'll be jumping in from shortly before our onyx pilot, who was also quick off the mark. As usual, I jumped the arazu in and warped to our scout. Half the gang wasn't there yet, but the tengus were finishing the last site in the system, so I primed my alt's warp disruptor and uncloaked. I got both tengus locked, but when I tried to disrupt the second tengu I found that, in priming my disruptors, I had fat-fingered both F1 and F2, activating both warp disruptors instead of just one; this allowed the un-pointed tengu to get into warp and resulted in much cursing over vent.

Meanwhile, my corpmates had jumped in, warped to the alt, and begun shooting the pointed tengu. My machariel eventually arrived on the field, delayed by my frantic efforts to deactivate the arazu's second disruptor and point the other tengu. Regardless, I got Wrayeth on grid and started burning for the remaining tengu, who was doing his best to imitate a startled gazelle and afterburning away at 700m/s.

I caught up with him just as he exited my alt's arazu's point range and started lighting him up. However, he wasn't going down as quickly as I expected. I was calling out on ventrilo for my gangmates to get more DPS on the target, only to hear a response of, "We can't! He's out of range and we can't keep up with him!" I checked, and sure enough all of them but the onyx (who had caught up and was using a focused disruption script on the tengu) were about 50km back and the gap was slowly widening.

At this point, I resigned myself to having to do the heavy lifting myself, and continued to give my buddies grief about their cruisers being slower than my dual-plated triple-armor-rigged battleship as I slowly chewed through the tengu's tank...which abruptly started failing as he finally ran out of cap thanks to the neut.

W O R M H O L E S ! ! ! ! ! 1 1 1 one one one

http://exhale.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_related&kll_id=13421330

is this considered fail??

I had an amusing triple-FAIL a few weeks ago, in which the third FAIL actually saved me from the second.

Closing a wormhole on my own, triple-boxing an Orca and a pair of BS.

My first fail was miscounting, ending up with the Orca and a Tempest on the opposite side of a hole when it turned critical.

I think "No problem, all I need to do is tandem-jump them both and I'll be fine".

The Orca had a probe launcher, the Tempest did not.

So I select the worhmole on both clients and prepare to hit "Jump" on one then the other in quick succession, Tempest first then Orca.

I take a breath, steady myself, and go for it... click, click....

"Oh hang on, what's that pop-up box on the Tempest's screen?"

Yes, that's FAIL 2: not paying attention to my polarity timer on the Tempest.

"Nooo, that means the Orca's going to close the hole and leave the Tempest inside!"

Luckily, FAIL 3 was that I'd forgotten to uncloak the Orca as well, so NEITHER ship jumped.


I waited for polarity to stablise and managed to tandem-jump both ships back to our system safely, "successfully" closing the hole.


One of the few times in life I've thanked my lucky stars for my own idiocy.

No, what probably happened was that the Tempest was jumped first, not closing the WH.

Had it been the other way around, you would probably have had one trapped Tempest.

---

I just remembered another recent WH fail of mine/my corp's...

https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=102077

Got away with it.... eventually.

Surprisingly, a C3 with a static high. We destroyed it in January.

How to make 8 billion ISK in an hour and the most paranoid WH occupant I have ever known

1.
We get a C1 connection and have a quick peek inside, 3 towers, 3 force fields. One of our guys warps on grid of one of the POSes (one of the production POSes) and everyone else goes afk for an hour for lunch.

As our scout warps away to go afk himself he sees the force field drop and quickly comes back and confirms that it was not his eyes playing tricks on him. He switches to a manticore and begins blowing up modules as fast as he can. The SMA spits out a rorqual which he destroys. The other arrays spit out a bunch of capital part BPOs that have been researched and end up selling to the tune of 8 billion ISK after a month on the market.

The owners of the POS logged on about an hour after the force field went down with the intention to refuel it.

2.
We blow up a guy's (hereafter referred to as R) transport in a C1 WH while he's doing PI. We don't speak at all, zero communication from us. This must have been a huge deal to him as R makes a website denouncing us as horrible scum and starts spamming the link in local. We decide that someone like this could be really fun to mess with so we leave a scan alt inside his WH. R starts a day by day accounting of events as he stays inside his POS thinking we're out there, cloaked, waiting... He never considers the fact that we have our own WH or checks a killboard to see that we're blowing up people on a daily basis in other WHs.

Every few days we'll send someone into his WH to blow up a ratter to keep up appearances. R begins to write about how his medium amarr POS is invincible (guns, neuts, and ECM) in a C1 WH. He grows more paranoid day by day, at first thinking we were just random strangers, then mercs hired to get him, and finally even begins to wonder if we plan to hunt him down in real life. As an important note we've still said nothing to him.

He even blames the ratters we've been killing as probably being in on the thing from the beginning and denounces them. He tries to ransom us for a billion ISK otherwise he'll say more mean things about us on his website not realizing we're linking the website to everyone we know for shared laughs.

His WH neighbor gets fed up with this and asks us (the people who have been blowing him up) if he can come along to destroy R's POS if we do hit it. So one weekend we bring a modest force of 5 BCs and 2 logi and reinforce and then kill R's POS. We mix that with a wardec so we can shoot R in HS if he manages to pull stuff outside during the reinforcement timer. Only after this part do our guys have any communication with him and yeah, at this point its all smack talk.

During the last 24 hours of the war one of our guys catches him in HS and blows up his battlecruiser. R warps his pod to station, logs off, and those of us that kept him on their watch list never see him online for the 6 months he stayed on the watch list.

What I don't get is why he renaunced to his wh that quickly....

Oh lordy. Oh Lordy lordy lordy.

So there I was, it was Caldari space, in some hick-arse cnstellation in Lonetrek where 00 ALCOR Russian Imperial Division lives, to this day, and still, to this very day, goes wormhole diving. It is known as SHANGRI-LA if ever you see your static here during Russian primetime, you too may get a visit from the greatest failwhales. Anyway.

I have previously noted the fail is strong with 00 ALCOR Russian Imperial Division, and so when I see one of them in local, probing, my ears perk up, my palms get sweaty, and my trouser zone tight. I begin mumbling things at Wintz, stuff like "wake up you moron, we're going to get kills!" and he's all like "whut? whut do you have?"

"Nothing yet. Just wait." I say. Which, I admit, did sound pretty damn lame. Anyway, Wintz goes AFK, and I set in for a decent camp out in hisec, watching a dude's magnate on gate, from my CHEETAH OF DOOM. An indeterminate length of time later, there's suddenly a half dozen 00 ALCOR Russian Imperial Division at gate! In, if I recall, the Apoc Navy Issue, a Geddon Navy Issue, 3 Drakes and something else. Maybe a Prophecy. They warp to a hole, I warp to a planet and dump BM's and start yammering on comms. Two faction BS! Piloted by two week old noobs! Eeeee!

I follow them into the hole and watch them do about 4 or 5 sites, warping to the sun and back as their tanks bust. This takes an hour. I've given up on the batphone by this stage. But suddenly Wintz wakes up and gets on the batphone; we have 4 Abbadons, a Scorp, a Phoon and so on all inbound. BM's are swapped, we wait for them to warp to a site from the sun, and decide we'll give it a shot with sleepers on field with the CHEETAH OF DOOM decloaking for point on the Apoc at the absolute last minute, likely to die gloriously in hero tackle mode.

Anyway, I sidle the CHEETAH OF DOOM into range, get decloaked at 23km by a missile (remember when that used to happen? fun times!) and call in the fleet. Instead of staying to save the Apoc from the lone CHEETAH OF DOOM which is pointed, the Russians pile out of the hole. I hang on for grim death (to 15% structure) wondering how this dude is hitting me so well and where the crayhole are his lasers?!? But gambaratsu! I have tackled Tengus for 2.5 minutes before, I can do a Apoc Navy Issue!

Then he basically evaporates when the fleet lands; most of us couldn't get on the mail.

And then it became clear. There was to be no shiny faction drops for us. Only eternal lols.