EVE General Discussion

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How to prepare a ganker for Hulkageddon:

Gankers come in many forms, but the two most popular types are the 'Destroius Moneyshottis' and the 'Abismal-walletus Tornadis'

While both require the same basic preperation, the Tornadis is much larger and requires a longer cooking time.

In either case the Ganker is much like shrimp-like animals when you prepare it:

First you remove the head, note that this will not kill the Ganker as it does no harm to any vital organ.

Second you remove the tail. This is an easy process as Gankers have no fear so the tail is never tucked under the torso like one find when preparing 'Hulkus Tinfoilus' or 'Fenriri Unfittabus'.

Third, remove the digestive tract. Unlike 'Lowsecus No fearus' and 'Nullsecus Blobalines' which have spines, there is no need to debone the Ganker as they have no backbone to choke on. This does point out the limiting factor when cooking a Ganker, the waste end of the digestive tract it extremely large and extend to both the anus as well as through the head and the mouth region. The amount of meat you actually get from this invertebrate is often only 30% of its original mass.

Fourth, dispose of the digestive tract. Make sure it is placed in a clear container on the C&P forum. There is some debate among chefs as to whether the odor of the Ganker's digestive tract is offensive.While most find the smell repulsive, like species find that there is no odor whatsoever.

Fifth, prepare the pan. As much as people would prefer to not cook using a CONCORD incinerator stove, the common habitat of the Ganker almost demands its use. Make sure to cook like the pan is hot, as the raw Ganker fillet is only cookable for about 15 minutes after use.

Sixth, place Ganker on medium heat, do not overheat, on a thermodynamic surface. Cook until meat is heated all the way through, best served on a rice pillaf bed and garnished with 'Carebearus' mountain oysters (note that Carebearus mountain oysters are extremely expensive due to their rarity.)

One should note that when cooking a Ganker, the meat will never be yellow, so a thermometer needs to be used. This is stark contrast to the Carebearus which the meat is always yellow from both leaching off the spinal bones as well as a natural reaction of the urinary tract when startled.

Recommended beverages include red wine, Quafe, or a 'chewable' beer like Guinness (served warm).

see also: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=1142799#post1142799

Up their Thorazine.