EVE General Discussion

It's been a long week of roller coaster emotions, sensationalism, and drama for Eve. For the good of the community, it's time for the player base to begin the healing process of putting it all behind us and moving on. Personally, I find that Humor is a great means of subduing anger and for creating bridges between enemies. However, I'm not naive enough to believe that humor will heal everyone. If 97.2% of the community finds my humor helpful, then I will consider my mission of peace a success.

Q: What does it take to get a Goon to apologize for anything?
A: 10,058 votes apparently.

Q: How many Goons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What does it matter? They're just going to drink until they black out anyway.

Alice: Why was Mittani wearing a wizard hat at fanfest?
Bob: Mittani is a stage magician. Didn't you see his disappearing act?

Alice: While Mittani was at fanfest for a week, the Goons killed three NC titans and ran a 100 billion isk scam!
Bob: Wow! Imagine if Mittani took off for a month!
Alice: Too soon, Bob, too soon.

Newbie: There's a bunch of people telling each other to "STFU" in local. What does "STFU" mean?
BitterVet: Depends. Normally, it means "Shut the **** Up", unless you're talking to a Goon, in which case it means "Sober the **** Up".

Bob: Goon Tears are best tears, because they're 25% alcohol by volume!

Alice: Bob, look at this market analysis of Jita right after fanfest. See this spike?
Bob: Whoa! That's a lot of DCUIIs.

Alice: Did you hear that some people want to send Mittani to prison for cyberbulling?
Bob: The people have spoken. A mandate is a man-date.

Q: What's the difference between a sociopath and a Goon?
A: Sociopaths can't be bothered to vote.

Alice: Have you heard about Mittani's voters feeling disenfranchised over their candidate being removed?
Bob: Awwww, did someones forget to purchase insurance before undocking for PvP?

Alice: So who do you think the winners and losers are in regards to the scandal?
Bob: Winners, the forum developers. Losers, next year's alcohol sales.

Alice: Geez, Bob, you taunted the Goons and now they want to kill you.
Bob: Should I call the police?
Alice: In game, Bob, kill you in game.
Bob: Ah, so petition it *and* call the police?

Alice: Wow Bob, the Goons put a large bounty on you!
Bob: Good, I need more paper towels to soak up the tears.

Bob: The Mittani was banned and booted from the CSM.
Alice: ... And...?
Bob: And what?
Alice: Where are you going with this? Is there a punchline?
Bob: A punchline would be redundant.


Please feel free to contribute your own words of healing.

Officer: "So Hilmar, what did you do to prevent this in the future?"
Hilmar: "We told him to lay low and not do it again for a year."

They say time heals all wounds.

This is a pretty good start, though.

+1...very funny

I feel better, ty!

A scammer, thief, and politician walk into a bar

Mittens orders a drink.

Most are funny, some are dumb. But one-sided, put something pro-goon.

30 days. Doctors orders.