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Crime & Punishment

 
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The Pirate Story Thread

First post First post
Author
Kristopher Arione
Dromedaworks inc
Test Alliance Please Ignore
#281 - 2012-03-24 01:02:17 UTC
Jioning dec shield wont save you at all, just more juicy delicious tears,

[23:49:28] > your welcome for the 100
[23:49:38] > percent efficency that is.
[23:49:40] Arione > 100?
[23:49:5 > yea. 100% efficency in killing for March.
[23:50:00] Kristopher Arione > lol
[00:02:58] Kristopher Arione > sorry to have violated your frail female anatomy
[00:03:33] > dont really wanna hear it right now
[00:03:45] Kristopher Arione > lol mad?
[00:03:45] > my "frail female anatomy" has been through a lot recently.
[00:03:51] > im a little pissed yea.
[00:04:42] > not just at losing the quafe although that does have a part to do with it.
[00:05:04] Kristopher Arione > to be fair it would have died the moment you undocked in jita
[00:05:09] Kristopher Arione > everyone is suiciding those things
[00:05:45] > wasnt planning on going near jita sorry
[00:05:58] Kristopher Arione > anywhere near a trade hub
[00:06:14] Kristopher Arione > did you get the female quafe shirt?
[00:06:20] > nope.
[00:06:26] Kristopher Arione > you paid isk for that itty?
[00:06:31] i > Itty was a gift.
[00:06:35] Kristopher Arione > ah
[00:06:35] > from a boyfriend.
[00:06:50] Kristopher Arione > tell him to kill me for your honor
[00:06:53] > hes gonna be pissed as all hell. like, serious PLEXXING and account trading mad.
[00:07:17] Kristopher Arione > account trading over a loss?
[00:07:26] > over you shooting his girlfriend.
[00:07:46] Kristopher Arione > tell him to come at me, and make sure you tell him I called him bro
[00:08:07] > okay. youve got one legion.
[00:08:17] > two tengu's?
[00:10:28] > have fun with your new 100m bounty ^%%$$&
[00:10:45] Kristopher Arione > make it go higher
[00:11:05] > too much extra money for me.
[00:12:31] Kristopher Arione > you sure thats all you can afford?
[00:12:52] > well fine i'll plex my way into a couple of carriers if you like.
[00:13:07] Kristopher Arione > you cant bring those in high sec
[00:13:24] f> oh
[00:13:45] > sorry. talking to you makes me want to either join the police or burn a forest. goodbye.

2012.03.23 23:07:00
Victim was in an Itteron Quafe
Thrawn Nostur
Impulsive Anarchy
#282 - 2012-03-24 08:01:31 UTC  |  Edited by: Thrawn Nostur
So. My corp was part of an alliance called Talocan United. Basically a wh corp. They setup this "OP" on the forums to generate some cash for the alliance leader to buy a new computer. Even though he "commanded" that members were on TS, he himself could not be because of his sheet laptop. Being the very direct person I am, I asked some questions about why WE should buy him a computer. I ended up getting my corp kicked out...and the following is the ONLY convo I had with the alliance leader. He didn't even ask about any of the conversation I had with other leadership in the alliance. I guess he's mad because I think he should GET A JOB instead of mooching from people that have one.

Wah wah. Alliance leader tears...haha:

[ 2012.03.23 14:08:01 ] Thrawn Nostur > your little pet zed should probably graduate from 3rd grade in time. he's done a very big diservice for your alliance
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:38 ] N@#$an Jameson > i'm sorry, but you attack my IRL persona? and then you call into question my work ethic and my ability to provide for my family?
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:46 ] N@#$an Jameson > you think he's the only one angry?
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:51 ] Thrawn Nostur > he booted us because i don't agree with him fully.
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:54 ] N@#$an Jameson > go **** yourself
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:59 ] Thrawn Nostur > haha

This because I wouldn't subscribe to the idea that the alliance should "chip in" to buy him a computer.
Salem Aurilen
You Sunk My Battleship
#283 - 2012-03-24 10:32:39 UTC
Thrawn Nostur wrote:
So. My corp was part of an alliance called Talocan United. Basically a wh corp. They setup this "OP" on the forums to generate some cash for the alliance leader to buy a new computer. Even though he "commanded" that members were on TS, he himself could not be because of his sheet laptop. Being the very direct person I am, I asked some questions about why WE should buy him a computer. I ended up getting my corp kicked out...and the following is the ONLY convo I had with the alliance leader. He didn't even ask about any of the conversation I had with other leadership in the alliance. I guess he's mad because I think he should GET A JOB instead of mooching from people that have one.

Wah wah. Alliance leader tears...haha:

[ 2012.03.23 14:08:01 ] Thrawn Nostur > your little pet zed should probably graduate from 3rd grade in time. he's done a very big diservice for your alliance
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:38 ] N@#$an Jameson > i'm sorry, but you attack my IRL persona? and then you call into question my work ethic and my ability to provide for my family?
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:46 ] N@#$an Jameson > you think he's the only one angry?
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:51 ] Thrawn Nostur > he booted us because i don't agree with him fully.
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:54 ] N@#$an Jameson > go **** yourself
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:59 ] Thrawn Nostur > haha

This because I wouldn't subscribe to the idea that the alliance should "chip in" to buy him a computer.


Why should anybody have to buy the lazy scrub a new computer, and why has the alliance not replaced him yet. Question
Reppyk
The Black Shell
#284 - 2012-03-24 10:54:35 UTC
Thrawn Nostur wrote:
This because I wouldn't subscribe to the idea that the alliance should "chip in" to buy him a computer.
This is the kind of threads I would like to read in CAOD. A bit short but definitively delicious Pirate

I AM SPACE CAPTAIN REPPYK. BEWARE.

Proud co-admin of frugu.net, a French fansite about EVE !

Thrawn Nostur
Impulsive Anarchy
#285 - 2012-03-25 03:49:14 UTC
Salem Aurilen wrote:


Why should anybody have to buy the lazy scrub a new computer, and why has the alliance not replaced him yet. Question


My thoughts exactly. I'm not gonna work my ass off to support some lazy loser. If he wants to spend his time ingame instead of out making a few bucks to buy a new computer...well that's his problem, not mine. I feel a bit sorry for his kid.
Fishmaskle
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#286 - 2012-03-26 20:04:52 UTC
Tarryn Nightstorm wrote:
barricade87 wrote:
There was a guy who was made -9 when he was tricked into smart bombing people in high sec, so he often came to our low sec space to try and get his sec up.
After losing many faction BS, he downgraded to faction cruisers, and then ultimately stealth bombers.

But even flying a cloaky frigate, he was still quite easy to catch, as anytime he appeared in local i knew he was going to find the 1 BS that spawns. So i waited cloaked in a rapier next to said BS until he attempted to kill it. Needless to say, he wasn't happy.

-----------------------------------------------

Counting coup, whenever I ****ing well please
From: Victim
Sent: 2011.12.14 01:34
To: barricade87,

Even a blind pig finds a truffle, now and then. I like the odds. I have come into your system literally hundreds of times and you have "caught" me once. Big ****ing deal! You are a big fat bag of fail and you will always be a pompous ass!

get a real life!



It took him about 4 stealth bomber losses to realize that i wasn't just randomly finding him, and he petitioned me every time he died.
CCP recently banned his account for making over 200 petitions.


Socratic, perchance?

You know, that ******* guy...(enjoy those fine Swedish Black-metal bass-drums! One of the few EVE vids that has good music, my God!)

E: But seriously now, Kane, where/how the Hell do you find these people? Ninja-salvaging seems quite dry nowadaysStraight


Looking around ..

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=player&name=Socratic&page=1#kills

I really cannot see this Extremely High IQ player actually making any of the isk for the ships he looses ingame. It is pretty epic how on his first pages of kills, he has all the pods he poped lol.

Trying to find the battleship he used for that pop, is many many pages down his loss list. Truely epic indeed.

What I don't get.... Isn't the definition of Insanity, repeating the same process over and over expecting a different outcome? Why in the world is this guy still in the same system death after death? 8000 systems and he hasn't picked up the idea that he might want to skip town somewhere he is less likely to get killed so easily/as much?

I know he has nowhere to hide, but at least getting out of the same place would make sense to anyone well.... With a IQ above a tomato...
If I helped you out, Technical Issue, enemy gank, popped your poor fit, hit the "Like" button.
Bernie Nator
Allspark Industries
Transformographagizers
#287 - 2012-03-27 04:24:52 UTC
Thrawn Nostur wrote:
Salem Aurilen wrote:


Why should anybody have to buy the lazy scrub a new computer, and why has the alliance not replaced him yet. Question


My thoughts exactly. I'm not gonna work my ass off to support some lazy loser. If he wants to spend his time ingame instead of out making a few bucks to buy a new computer...well that's his problem, not mine. I feel a bit sorry for his kid.


Thrawn, didn't we go through this already? We said if you don't want to donate, you don't have to. You're the guy calling everyone's work ethic into question while sounding a bit like a douchenozzle. We're chipping in to get the guy a new comp mostly because he's our friend. It's not our fault you've got a hate-on for him.

Also, what the hell type of pirate story was that? It's not even a pirate story.
Nathan Jameson
Grumpy Bastards
#288 - 2012-03-27 06:36:30 UTC
Salem Aurilen wrote:
Why should anybody have to buy the lazy scrub a new computer, and why has the alliance not replaced him yet. Question

I, too, believe everything posted here without question.

http://www.wormholes.info

Zariah Oken
KarmaFleet
Goonswarm Federation
#289 - 2012-03-27 12:05:15 UTC
Salem Aurilen wrote:

Why should anybody have to buy the lazy scrub a new computer, and why has the alliance not replaced him yet. Question


I know right people should get a life. However in this case no one was forced, no one was threatened and this was only ever intended as a gift from several of the other leaders as a thank you for all the hard work he had put in over the life of Talun.

It was opened out to the alliance after several people overheard our plans and wanted to donate as well. No one was ever threatened or kicked for not donating. Several people have offered support in installation and not donating cash.

Thrawn was kicked from the alliance not for donating but the fact that he launched a personal attack against the executors real life. If thats wrong then well tough, we look after our friends.
Mr Bigwinky
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#290 - 2012-03-27 18:32:09 UTC
Thrawn Nostur wrote:
So. My corp was part of an alliance called Talocan United. Basically a wh corp. They setup this "OP" on the forums to generate some cash for the alliance leader to buy a new computer. Even though he "commanded" that members were on TS, he himself could not be because of his sheet laptop. Being the very direct person I am, I asked some questions about why WE should buy him a computer. I ended up getting my corp kicked out...and the following is the ONLY convo I had with the alliance leader. He didn't even ask about any of the conversation I had with other leadership in the alliance. I guess he's mad because I think he should GET A JOB instead of mooching from people that have one.

Wah wah. Alliance leader tears...haha:

[ 2012.03.23 14:08:01 ] Thrawn Nostur > your little pet zed should probably graduate from 3rd grade in time. he's done a very big diservice for your alliance
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:38 ] N@#$an Jameson > i'm sorry, but you attack my IRL persona? and then you call into question my work ethic and my ability to provide for my family?
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:46 ] N@#$an Jameson > you think he's the only one angry?
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:51 ] Thrawn Nostur > he booted us because i don't agree with him fully.
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:54 ] N@#$an Jameson > go **** yourself
[ 2012.03.23 14:08:59 ] Thrawn Nostur > haha

This because I wouldn't subscribe to the idea that the alliance should "chip in" to buy him a computer.


Lololol

I love the bit where "Thrawn" won't get the irony of his post.

It seems that noone would listen to his tears so he felt it necessary to post his own in a tears thread.
Not really sure of the backstory of this one but it seems to have went like this.

> Donate for a new PC for the alliance leader if you like
>> Wahhhh *personal attacks, I don't agree, rabble rabble*
> You don't 'have' to donate....
>> Wahhh I don't agree with community, *more attacks Wahhh noone is listening to me
> You have been ejected from alliance
>> Wahhh I can't complain anymore, I guess I better post on the forums...

Other posts by Thrawn include: "Down with cancer research!" and my personal favourite "I wish disabled people would just die."

note: the afore-mentioned posts may or may not have any relation to reality

Someone please continue with pirate stories and keep the non-spaceship-related internet arguing to yourself?
Welcome to EVE online, here's your rubix cube, go F*** yourself ♥
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#291 - 2012-03-27 19:43:09 UTC
It's admin week in EVE for me.

That means collecitng and selling all the drops I have gathered all over. Every bit of isk counts.

Collection of Stories will begin this weekend. As well as youtube vids. Going to play around with fraps and video editing software to see how much I suck with video editing.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

Rivur'Tam
the united
Negative Ten.
#292 - 2012-03-28 12:15:26 UTC
Mr Bigwinky wrote:



Other posts by Thrawn include: "Down with cancer research!" and my personal favourite[b] "I wish disabled people would just die."



I lol'd so much, i think i like Mr Thrawn.


Can some one please liek me

[b]Inappropriate signature removed. Spitfire

^^ my sig was awesome that naugty spitfire stole it for himself true story

United Recruitment Director.[/b]

Scrindle Kavees
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#293 - 2012-03-30 13:14:09 UTC
No where near as good as some of the stories on here but here goes...

Quite a long time ago we used to live in Camal (Derelik region) and had the system secured pretty tightly; piracy around Derelik was fun back then and bouts with The Lost Souls were frequent for anyone who remembers them (probably not).

I don't usually log in around Christmas, but I had to log in to change a skill on Christmas morning (normally I'd have put a long skill on but I wanted to fly a particular ship as soon as I came back from the break y'see, no skill queues back then). Logged in to change skill and lo and behold some random is in MY system.

How dare he/she/it.

I was in a Taranis at the time and honestly I couldn't resist the opportunity for Christmas tears so instead of logging off, as had been my intention, I promtly undocked and got to D-Scaning the belts (remember when that little system map was still present on the scan window? Good times..)

Turns out he was in a thorax ratting in one of the belts. I warped in, pointed him up and let rip with blasters. He convo'd me as I pointed him and the chat went something along these lines:

Victim: why?
Me: because I can
Victim: please don't
Me: merry christmas :)
(to this day whenever I am reminded of it the 'merry christmas' line it makes me chuckle to be honest, sad as that is, harsh but fair)

He was only tanking EM damage against Sansha in the most horrific fail-fit I have ever seen for a RatRax and went down like a sack of ****.

I didn't really have the time to stay so I pointed the pod, raked the F keys and ctrl + Q'd.

When I logged in 4 or 5 days later I was met with a TORRENT of the most appauling evemail abuse you can imagine, and an evemail for the pod which did pop despite me being offline, yay! After I didn't respond to his initial mails in the first couple of days he resorted to copying and pasting his original mail to me over and over again.

He put an incredibly small bounty on me of 1k so that people would 'know' I was a pirate. I used an alt to change this to '1337' isk which promted another hillarious evemail when I kindly pointed this out to him and thanked him for calling me 'leet'.

I'm pretty sure he quit shortly after that.
Ubiquitous Forum Alt
#294 - 2012-03-30 19:26:43 UTC
Scrindle Kavees wrote:

When I logged in 4 or 5 days later I was met with a TORRENT of the most appauling evemail abuse you can imagine, and an evemail for the pod which did pop despite me being offline, yay! After I didn't respond to his initial mails in the first couple of days he resorted to copying and pasting his original mail to me over and over again.

He put an incredibly small bounty on me of 1k so that people would 'know' I was a pirate. I used an alt to change this to '1337' isk which promted another hillarious evemail when I kindly pointed this out to him and thanked him for calling me 'leet'.

I'm pretty sure he quit shortly after that.


Thread needs more rage-mails...

You can't just say you got the, we want to SEE them.

Start posting Pirate

I don't log in - I don't need to. My very existence griefs people. They see my name, and they instinctively fill with rage and indignation. Deny it all you want - but if you didn't care, you wouldn't have posted, would you?

Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#295 - 2012-03-30 19:45:04 UTC  |  Edited by: Cannibal Kane
No Kills...

Well.. This was a result of a Kill.

I am at war with a corp. There was only one of them online mining what looks like to be with another corp full of people with variations of the same name. Popped and podded im on my way again of the home system.

I get a convo from him telling me he was only in that corp to learn about mining, and I had no right to shoot at him.. (Did not know you needed to learn how mining works in order to shoot lasers at it.) and that he will leave corp and join his families corp, but like most he also starting mouthing of with regards to the war i got with the his current corp. I shrugged and continued on my way.

5 Minutes later I get another convo, this is from the dudes dad, who is in the other corp he was mining with at the time.

soon to be victim > hello:)
Cannibal Kane > Yes?
soon to be victim > Do you have a moment to chat
Cannibal Kane > Sure
soon to be victim > My son tells me you have a problem with my corparation because you thing we are somehow linked to Femtometre Mining
soon to be victim > Is this true?
soon to be victim > Ahh oh and Polarized
soon to be victim > apparently
Cannibal Kane > Well I ended up not having a problem since i am not at war with your corporation. Nor do I care to be.
Cannibal Kane > and i am not going to play the he said she said game.
soon to be victim > Well i don't know all the details there so I can't judge that
soon to be victim > fair enough
soon to be victim > Just wanted to give you a headsup as to how things will work around my corp. If thats ok with you?
Cannibal Kane > not really interested...
soon to be victim > ok well just so you are aware if you do decide you want to declare on us.
soon to be victim > Theres 3 things you need to know
soon to be victim > !. I am a self made billionaire ( not meaning to brag just a fact)
soon to be victim > 2. I will spend as much Real $ to buy whatever amount of ISK to purchase the biggest baddest Faction / Clan / corporation to make dust of what ever so called bullies ( as my son tells me you are ).
soon to be victim > 3. Im here to play not fight over ridiculoius issues.
soon to be victim > Sorry about my poor english as im Russian
soon to be victim > Please don't take this as a threat its not meant a a threat
Cannibal Kane > Point 1 and 2... that will actually make me war dec you now. And all you needed to say he is young and still needs to learn diplomacy and i would have been gone. But since you mentioned point 1 and 2.
soon to be victim > this is just to let you know what you are about to get yourself into before you do so.

He keeps rambling on about what a poor choice I am making and how he is going to make EVE difficult for me. Every time i Log on he convos me to ask If I am certain I wish to proceed. I just go yep, ahem, yeah since it seems those are the same type of automated response for a mother in law over the phone works for him as well.

Got another convo from him that he will be using real world money to pay to kill me ingame. At first I though ok? So he continued paying people in isk does not get them to jump as fast. Paying them real money means he going to get a good service. isn't there some sort of rule against paying somebody real money for ingame services?

EDIT: once the war starts I will update accordingly. Curious to see how his threats change.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

prolix travail
Blue Mountain Trails
#296 - 2012-03-31 14:45:50 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:


EDIT: once the war starts I will update accordingly. Curious to see how his threats change.


Looking forward to these updates. On a slightly related note, have you read the Taxman Chronicles? They were by a guy called vladimir norkoff, having fun can-flipping and wareccing exactly like you but retold in pulp noir style. Really good and worth reading.
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#297 - 2012-03-31 14:58:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Cannibal Kane
prolix travail wrote:
Cannibal Kane wrote:


EDIT: once the war starts I will update accordingly. Curious to see how his threats change.


Looking forward to these updates. On a slightly related note, have you read the Taxman Chronicles? They were by a guy called vladimir norkoff, having fun can-flipping and wareccing exactly like you but retold in pulp noir style. Really good and worth reading.


I have not, sounds like a good read. will do some searching thanks.

I am really considering setting up some sort of blog.... but in a Captain Kirk style of talking about the events.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

Bernie Nator
Allspark Industries
Transformographagizers
#298 - 2012-03-31 15:21:32 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
prolix travail wrote:
Cannibal Kane wrote:


EDIT: once the war starts I will update accordingly. Curious to see how his threats change.


Looking forward to these updates. On a slightly related note, have you read the Taxman Chronicles? They were by a guy called vladimir norkoff, having fun can-flipping and wareccing exactly like you but retold in pulp noir style. Really good and worth reading.


I have not, sounds like a good read. will do some searching thanks.

I am really considering setting up some sort of blog.... but in a Captain Kirk style of talking about the events.


So you're....goingto tell them..BALLS.. to the wall.

I like where this is going.
prolix travail
Blue Mountain Trails
#299 - 2012-03-31 16:40:37 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:


I have not, sounds like a good read. will do some searching thanks.

I am really considering setting up some sort of blog.... but in a Captain Kirk style of talking about the events.


They were on the old forums: http://community.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1185861 all of them in pdf format.


Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#300 - 2012-04-01 12:54:26 UTC  |  Edited by: Cannibal Kane
Well things have certainly escalated.

They are now trying hire just about every merc corp there is. Already been told by some of them they refused.

Already recieved my first WarDec from one of the Merc Corp, expecting more. Dunno why though I will do the same thing I always do. Keep the war alive with the mercs client so the client keeps paying merc until they or the decided they can't anymore. At which point im back in business.

I know I can't face a merc corp on my own.

On that news I decided to see what all this ganking is about. Found him in a retriever and penetrator his retriever with my catalyst, just to make a point. I think it worked.

How does a corp like that have a wallet of over 200bill when they mine in hoarders, all of them.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk